Megan Fox Is DefensiveBy toddJuly 08, 2011

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When you’ve obviously had a significant amount of plastic surgery on your face, you want people to know you don’t use botox. I don’t know. I guess that makes as much sense as anything else a woman does. Anyway, Megan Fox uploaded these pics to Facebook under the album “THINGS YOU CAN’T DO WITH YOUR FACE WHEN YOU HAVE BOTOX” (yes, in Kanyewest Bold font). So I guess this means she doesn’t use botox. I mean, that’s great and everything, but all I’m really seeing is a bullseye. Maybe I’m reading too much into this.

When you’ve obviously had a significant amount of plastic surgery on your face, you want people to know you don’t use botox. I don’t know. I guess that makes as…

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Rumer Willis Understands ThingsBy toddJuly 07, 2011

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Ladies, if you’re still on the fence about the direct correlation between having huge breasts and how seriously you’re taken, please take a long look at Rumer Willis. She’s a pale, cellulite mess with a gigantic head that looks like Hellyboy raped Jimmy Neutron and Dane Cook, but she wore this shirt yesterday with her rack hanging out. And now she’s on this site today. So you can see…wait, what now? You see, she’s unattractive but she wore a sh..oh, JESUS CHRIST DO I HAVE TO SPELL IT OUT FOR YOU PEOPLE?!?! TITTIES OKAY?!?! YOU HAPPY NOW?!?! You guys know how much I don’t like saying that word! Goddammit, you guys.

Ladies, if you’re still on the fence about the direct correlation between having huge breasts and how seriously you’re taken, please take a long look at Rumer Willis. She’s a…

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Lady Gaga Is A Narcissistic Drug Addict, Thinks She’s FatBy toddJuly 07, 2011

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Oh, and she has Lupus or whatever. Does that mean she can turn into a wolf? That would be cool. Radar Online reports:

Lady Gaga has been branded ‘sick’ and ‘obsessed’ in an explosive new tell-all which documents her alleged drug abuse and dangerous diet. In a revealing interview with Star Magazine, investigative journalist Ian Halperin has made startling allegations about the wacky performer, insisting she is a walking time bomb. “Those who have worked with her on tour reported to me that Gaga barely ate for weeks at a time to fit into her costume,” said Halperin, who has spent 12 months investigating Gaga for his book. “She is sick and obsessed with her weight. One friend told me, Gaga will stare at herself in the mirror for hours on end, analyzing and critiquing her body. It’s an unhealthy obsession.” And while most people believe her outrageous outfits and heavy makeup are just part of her act, Halperin says there is a more sinister reason behind her look. “Her lupus is far worse than she lets on,” he said of the disease, which Gaga has admitted to having. “Part of the reason she wears wigs and makeup is because her hair is falling out and she’s covered in red blotches, both side effects of the disease.” But her weight and her health are not her only problems Halperin claims. “Her drug use started young. From heroin to cocaine and ecstasy, her friends say that she has done every drug conceivable. You name it she has done it. “She’s morphed into this caricature called Lady Gaga, who isn’t even a real person. The girl known as Stefi to her friends and family has all but disappeared.”

Wait, does all of this mean that Lady Gaga is gonna die soon? I want to get excited, but I want to make sure I’m reading this right.

Oh, and she has Lupus or whatever. Does that mean she can turn into a wolf? That would be cool. Radar Online reports: Lady Gaga has been branded ‘sick’ and…

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Lindsay Looks GreatBy toddJuly 07, 2011

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Here’s Lindsay Lohan outside Gjelina restaurant in Venice on Tuesday night, and it’s time like this when we’re reminded of her classic beauty and understated elegance. Later, Lindsay tried to purse snatch a lady then steal her baby while screaming, “Colombians got two for fives here baby dem niggas got garbage down the way!” Does anybody know what that means? I think she was talking about ice cream. I also think she might be racist. So if any black people see her, remember what you just read here.

Here’s Lindsay Lohan outside Gjelina restaurant in Venice on Tuesday night, and it’s time like this when we’re reminded of her classic beauty and understated elegance. Later, Lindsay tried to…

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Kim Kardashian Is Very UpsetBy toddJuly 06, 2011

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In 1995, Robert Kardashian successfully made a jury believe that O.J. Simpson didn’t behead Nicole Brown Simpson and stab Ron Goldman to death. Since you can’t keep a good raging sociopath down, O.J. Simpson barged into a Las Vegas hotel room with a gun because he thought somebody was selling his t-shirts he could have been spending on things other than the $33 million awarded to the Goldman family in their wrongful death suit. With the prestige/notoriety of her family name, Kim Kardashian was allowed to follow Paris Hilton around like a pound puppy until one strategic Ray-J nut in her mouth later, Kim Kardashian was shot to international superstardom and has reaped untold riches with the help of her whore mother. So, you’d think she’d be happy for other defense attorneys with young daughters who got a psychopathic murderer off. She wasn’t. Now she doesn’t understand why everybody is being a big meanie face. Us Magazine reports:

Kim Kardashian is one of many celebrities who weighed in on Casey Anthony’s not guilty verdict; but the reality star’s family ties to another high-profile case caused many critics to discount her opinion…“Reading the comments here and it’s nuts people think just because I was close to the OJ trial I can’t have my own opinion on the Casey Anthony case?” she wrote.

I pretty much said all I need to say on Twitter here, so I really don’t have anything else to add except to say I’m concerned my power bill is higher than normal this month. You think I should call them? I should call them but I’m not really good on the phone.

In 1995, Robert Kardashian successfully made a jury believe that O.J. Simpson didn’t behead Nicole Brown Simpson and stab Ron Goldman to death. Since you can’t keep a good raging…

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Coachella Is TolerableBy toddApril 19, 2010

Coachella is for dirty hippies in cardigans and leggings who get to drink all the PBR they want on their trust fund, so I’m glad Katy Perry wore a dress specifically designed to show off her amazing rack. Not that it’s surprising. It’s tight and has her tits spilling out. It might as well be called Katy Perry Dress #12.

Coachella is for dirty hippies in cardigans and leggings who get to drink all the PBR they want on their trust fund, so I’m glad Katy Perry wore a dress…

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I Should Plan A Trip To South AfricaBy toddApril 16, 2010

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The only thing I know about South Africa is Charlize Theron, Candice Swanepoel, and District 9, so maybe I should let SideStep find me a good deal on a flight and a hotel. Because obviously is a place where you can bang hot blonde chicks and kill aliens. In America, I only get to kill homeless people. That gets boring after a while.

The only thing I know about South Africa is Charlize Theron, Candice Swanepoel, and District 9, so maybe I should let SideStep find me a good deal on a flight…

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