Kim Kardashian Has Secret Service NowBy toddOctober 10, 2016
Kim Kardashian Has Secret Service Now


Donald Trump’s hatred of women extends to not letting the Kim Kardashian robbery news cycle live, but it’s Monday, so Kris Jenner is trying again. Basically, Kim Kardashian is more protected than actual sexual assault victims. Take that, Donald!

Sources close to Kim tell us … her new security detail includes former members of the Secret Service, who will be armed to the teeth. There will be at least one team of 2 hired muscles (minimum) everywhere she goes. We’re also told her car will be “armored.”  We’re told after the Paris robbery Kim met with some ex-special force members from the Israeli army, ex-CIA agents as well as former Secret Service members. Kanye met with owners of 2 top security firms. We’re also told Kris Jenner is heavily involved in security meetings, and plans to get protection for Kourtney, Khloe, Kendall and Kylie … stat. We’ve heard nothing about Rob.

Rob’s boobs can’t be monetized, so I understand this decision. But this must be serious since Kim hasn’t posted a selfie to Instagram in a week. But if anybody needs this type of security, it’s the Kardashians. Especially Khloe. If we lose her, our society and civilization as we know it, would crumble and cease to exist. I take that back. If we even lose one single Kardashian, we might as well just close America, because it would be hollow and meaningless. Why bother going on living? That’s not a future we want for our kids.


Shoutout to whoever gets to follow this around every day. Respect.

Morning

A photo posted by Kylie (@kyliejenner) on

Donald Trump’s hatred of women extends to not letting the Kim Kardashian robbery news cycle live, but it’s Monday, so Kris Jenner is trying again. Basically, Kim Kardashian is more…

Related Posts:

Tags:
Justin Bieber Is A Wax Figure NowBy toddOctober 10, 2016

London’s Madame Tussauds unveiled their Justin Bieber waxwork this weekend, and I don’t know if they’re trolling him our not, but we’re all sorry this happened too. That dressed him in the suburban white boy “I want to make my parents mad” starter pack, and his eyes look like they know who Corey Feldman is talking about. Luckily, this wax thing can’t move, so you can grab it in the pussy whenever you want.

London’s Madame Tussauds unveiled their Justin Bieber waxwork this weekend, and I don’t know if they’re trolling him our not, but we’re all sorry this happened too. That dressed him…
Here’s A Bunch Of Pictures Of Maria Menounos And Her ButtBy toddJanuary 10, 2014

I'm not going to lie to you, I have no idea nor do I really care what the Variety Breakthrough Of The Year Awards are, but apparently they have them every year, and this year, Maria Menounos showed up in this dress and omg dat ass. Sorry, did that sound like I was objectifying her? Good, because I totally was just then. Because we're all looking at the same pictures here. Specifically, pictures of said dat ass. Jesus talked about it in the Bible once. For real, look it up. "Damn, son. Booty had me like..," Jesus was quoted as saying.

I'm not going to lie to you, I have no idea nor do I really care what the Variety Breakthrough Of The Year Awards are, but apparently they have them…

Related Posts:

Tags:
Kat Dennings’ Massive Rack Hosted The People’s Choice AwardsBy toddJanuary 09, 2014

Kat Dennings is basically Christina Hendricks in that she's kinda big and pasty and has a weird looking face, but you don't really notice any of that because you have a penis and she has gigantic boobs. She might have a wooden pirate leg for all I know. Actually she might not even have legs I've never really looked.

Kat Dennings is basically Christina Hendricks in that she's kinda big and pasty and has a weird looking face, but you don't really notice any of that because you have…
Tags:
Man, They Look So Much AlikeBy toddNovember 10, 2010

[Gallery not found]

Since the economy is doing so well and credit card companies are open and honest about their practices, ruined credit across America was celebrated in NYC last night at the The Kardashian MasterCard Launch. Because who better to teach you about balance transfers and tips on how to lower your credit score than three rich, spoiled whores who live off the money their dad made by defending a guy who cut off his wife’s head? But more to the point, does anybody really believe Khloe Kardashian is an actual Kardashian? I mean, there’s no possible way, right? The only way this chick is Robert Kardashian’s kid is if Kris Jenner’s umbilical cord was laced with gamma radiation. Look at this huge bitch. Her head looks like it should be mounted on a wall in a hunting lodge. As a matter of fact, I’d like to see her credit card statement. I can’t shake the feeling her real first name is “The Abominable”.

Since the economy is doing so well and credit card companies are open and honest about their practices, ruined credit across America was celebrated in NYC last night at the…

Related Posts:

Tags: , ,
Sara Jean Underwood Is For No ReasonBy toddNovember 09, 2010

[Gallery not found]

Sara Jean Underwood recently got implants, and that might not be big news to you, but according to the message board my penis subscribes to, he might disagree with you.

Sara Jean Underwood recently got implants, and that might not be big news to you, but according to the message board my penis subscribes to, he might disagree with you.

Related Posts:

Tags:
Ke$ha Needs A Longer TongueBy toddJuly 07, 2010

[SinglePic not found]

This picture of singer(?) Ke$sha covered in semen hit on Buzzfeed about an hour ago, but I wanted to make sure it wasn’t a fake, so I waited to post it. Then I realized the pictured included the words “covered in semen”, so I no longer cared. Mostly because if a girl lets you jack off on her and take a picture, you should marry her. I think Toni Morrison said that in a book somewhere.

This picture of singer(?) Ke$sha covered in semen hit on Buzzfeed about an hour ago, but I wanted to make sure it wasn’t a fake, so I waited to post…

Related Posts:

Tags:
Lady Gaga Does Madison Square GardenBy toddJuly 07, 2010

[Gallery not found]

Lady Gaga took her utterly pretentious and tired act to Madison Square Garden last night where she shocked and wowed the crowd with fake blood and by grabbing her crotch the entire night. Fuck her for making me use the unisex term “crotch” on the site for the first time, and fuck her for being so horrifically ugly. At least Katy Perry is hot. Being hot is a good quality to have if all of your songs are about how many guys want to bang you. Looking like something that was found in alien wreckage at the bottom of the ocean puts a little hole in your theory. And stop grabbing yourself, bitch. All that tells me is that either you have a dick or wish you had one. Neither of those options are particularly attractive when you’re wearing panties that are four sizes too small.

Lady Gaga took her utterly pretentious and tired act to Madison Square Garden last night where she shocked and wowed the crowd with fake blood and by grabbing her crotch…

Related Posts:

Tags:
Jessica Biel Does GQ ChinaBy toddJuly 07, 2010

[SinglePic not found]

Here’s Jessica Biel’s hot ass in this month’s issue of GQ China. In related news, I was in First China in Cary yesterday. My order ready in ten minute, no waiting!

Here’s Jessica Biel’s hot ass in this month’s issue of GQ China. In related news, I was in First China in Cary yesterday. My order ready in ten minute, no…

Related Posts:

Tags:
Kill Russell Brand LinksBy toddJune 30, 2010

[SinglePic not found]

Russell Brand has to die [The Superficial]
Salma Hayek really needs to model our t-shirts [Popoholic]
Miranda Kerr upskirt [TaxiDriver Movie]
Forbes’ Top(less) 2010 Celebrity 100 Power List (you’ll want to see this) [COED Magazine]
Britney Spears might be abusing her kids. [Celebslam]
Leighton Meester vs. Jessica Alba. Really? [Egotastic]
Carolina “Pampita” Ardohain. My…God. [Heyman Hustle]
Christina Hendricks loves gaining weight [Cele|bitchy]
Paris Hilton packs light [Popeater]
Unfamous white guys are taking all the famous black chicks [Allie Is Wired]

NOTE: I just straight up asked for pics of your tits today, but my boy over at The Superficial is more of a gentleman and is looking for a new banner girl (you can enter here). He isn’t gay or anything, he just likes to look at women’s faces. I do to, but I just take their imprint off my pillow.

Russell Brand has to die [The Superficial] Salma Hayek really needs to model our t-shirts [Popoholic] Miranda Kerr upskirt [TaxiDriver Movie] Forbes’ Top(less) 2010 Celebrity 100 Power List (you’ll want…

Related Posts:

Tags: