Linda Hamilton Is Coming Back To ‘Terminator’ Franchise AgainBy toddSeptember 20, 2017
Linda Hamilton Is Coming Back To ‘Terminator’ Franchise Again

 

Since every corpse has to be dug up and put in front of a camera so studios can cash in on your nostalgia (what up, Jamie Lee Curtis , every recent Harrison Ford movie, and Pennywise ), Linda Hamilton is returning to the Terminator franchise for the first time since 1991.

After waving hasta la vista, baby, more than 25 years ago, Linda Hamilton is returning to the world of Terminator, reuniting with James Cameron, the creator of the sci-fi franchise, for the new installment being made by Skydance and Paramount. Cameron made the announcement at a private event celebrating the storied franchise, saying, “As meaningful as she was to gender and action stars everywhere back then, it’s going to make a huge statement to have that seasoned warrior that she’s become return.” With Hamilton’s return, Cameron hopes to once again make a statement on gender roles in action movies. “There are 50-year-old, 60-year-old guys out there killing bad guys,” he said, referring to aging male actors still anchoring movies, “but there isn’t an example of that for women.”

Arnold Schwarzenegger is 70 and Linda Hamilton is 60, so who knows what the plot of this movie will be. Maybe it’s 2029 and they go back in time to save Medicaid.

  Since every corpse has to be dug up and put in front of a camera so studios can cash in on your nostalgia (what up, Jamie Lee Curtis , every…
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Amy Schumer Dropped Out Of ‘Barbie’By toddMarch 24, 2017
Amy Schumer Dropped Out Of ‘Barbie’

 

Back in December it was announced that Amy Schumer was going to play Barbie in Sony’s live-action adaptation of Mattel’s most famous toy. Amy Schumer. The one in the banner pic. That’s who Sony decided would be great as Barbie. Amy Schumer. They chose Amy Schumer to play Barbie and thought that was a good idea. I can’t stress that enough. Anyway, she dropped out of the movie, so I assume it no longer takes place in an alternate universe on Planet Tumblr.

“Sadly, I’m no longer able to commit to Barbie due to scheduling conflicts,” the actress said in a statement to Variety. “The film has so much promise, and Sony and Mattel have been great partners. I’m bummed, but look forward to seeing Barbie on the big screen.” “We respect and support Amy’s decision,” a spokesperson for Sony said in a statement. “We look forward to bringing Barbie to the world and sharing updates on casting and filmmakers soon.”

I’m kind of disappointed, because I was looking forward to seeing Patton Oswalt or whatever as Ken. Not sure if it’s scheduling conflicts because Barbie was supposed to get “kicked out of Barbieland for not being perfect enough” and Amy Schumer thinks she is perfect and will have a psychotic break if you say she’s not. Amy Schumer. The one in the banner pic.

 

Here’s some Dove Cameron pics I forgot to post. I assume she won’t have any scheduling conflicts if Sony decides not to plus size wash the material.

 

  Back in December it was announced that Amy Schumer was going to play Barbie in Sony’s live-action adaptation of Mattel’s most famous toy. Amy Schumer. The one in the banner…

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Good Lord, Selena GomezBy toddMarch 24, 2017

I don’t know what they do in that rehab Selena Gomez was in, but she’s been looking fine as hell since she’s been out. Sup? How you doin? What are your thoughts on birth control? Really? Me too. We should get together and discuss this some more. Maybe over some red wine. You like red wine? I have a Costco card, so let me know.

I don’t know what they do in that rehab Selena Gomez was in, but she’s been looking fine as hell since she’s been out. Sup? How you doin? What are your…

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Amber Heard Lost Money In The Divorce, Is Worst Gold Digger Of All TimeBy toddSeptember 14, 2016
Amber Heard Lost Money In The Divorce, Is Worst Gold Digger Of All Time


iO Tillett Wright is a human person who lived with Amber Heard and Johnny Depp for a year in 2014 after Wright tried to kill himself or something to that effect. I kinda skimmed through. Wright is also the person who wrote the essay, “Why I Called 911“, back in June when all this divorce/domestic violence/media leak shit started going down. He says Heard is his best friend, but has cut Depp out of his life for what we can assume are obvious reasons. He also said this:

Wright has now come out to back Heard and reveal she paid all her own legal fees and accepted a settlement that was much lower than she could have got. Discussing the fact she could have got more than the $7 million, he said: ‘And she paid her own legal fees. That situation was so public. I’m not ever going to be one of them – I’m not ever going to be an A-list celebrity. But I chose to get involved in that situation because it was imperative to say what I thought was right.’

I didn’t know it was possible to marry a millionaire in California, get abused by him, have documented evidence of the abuse, get divorced, then end up having to take out a car title loan to help out with rent and pet supplies. This is like a Lifetime Original horror movie. 

iO Tillett Wright is a human person who lived with Amber Heard and Johnny Depp for a year in 2014 after Wright tried to kill himself or something to that…

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Ryan Seacrest Is Banging Adriana LimaBy toddSeptember 14, 2016
Ryan Seacrest Is Banging Adriana Lima


UPDATE: Now ET tells me Adriana Lima is actually dating Julian Edelman. Somebody needs to figure this shit out and let me know what the hell is going on here. I’m fragile.


Ryan Seacrest, the gayest heterosexual of all time, is now currently dating Adriana Lima, the third best Victoria’s Secret model of al time. I don’t pretend to understand 2016 anymore. 

E! News has learned that Adriana Lima and Ryan Seacrest are dating and have most recently been spotted on a romantic dinner date in New York City. The two connected during their time in Rio for the 2016 Summer Olympics, and the rest, as they say, is history! 

Like, this alone makes me want to kneel during the national anthem and I don’t even know why. It just seems like a gross injustice. Seacrest also dating this before. Exactly how rich is this dude? Every time I see something about Seacrest, I always think Neil Patrick Harris leaving his husband is somehow going to be involved. I can’t be the only one to see this.


UPDATE: Now ET tells me Adriana Lima is actually dating Julian Edelman. Somebody needs to figure this shit out and let me know what the hell is going on here. I’m…

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Elle Fanning Does That Barre ThingBy toddSeptember 14, 2016

I really didn’t understand Neon Demon, because I thought Bella Heathcote should’ve been the lead for the story to make more sense, and it was kinda just Starry Eyes with a better director and worst script. Now that I’ve gotten being an insufferable snob out of the way first thing this morning, here’s Neon Demon‘s Elle Fanning leaving a ballet barre class. If you’re not familiar with ballet barre, it is a sacred temple for basics where white girls who can’t find their best selfie light in a regular gym. Also, we can all appreciate Elle’s thick legs. That’s one good thing about girls from Georgia. 

I really didn’t understand Neon Demon, because I thought Bella Heathcote should’ve been the lead for the story to make more sense, and it was kinda just Starry Eyes with…

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‘Fifty Shades Darker’ Has A TrailerBy toddSeptember 13, 2016
‘Fifty Shades Darker’ Has A Trailer


The housewife porn industry got special boost today. The trailer for Fifty Shades Darker dropped. It starts with literal fireworks (symbolism!), then tells you to “forget the past”. I think they mean Fifty Shades of Grey‘s 25% Rotten Tomatoes score. Or they could mean something else! You never know! So if you like movies about rich people having sex written by a woman who writes like she’s never had sex before, be sure to get your ticket this Valentine’s Day. 


The housewife porn industry got special boost today. The trailer for Fifty Shades Darker dropped. It starts with literal fireworks (symbolism!), then tells you to “forget the past”. I think…
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Miley Cyrus Does GQ RussiaBy toddFebruary 06, 2014
Miley Cyrus Does GQ Russia

I'm sure there's a market for whatever Miley Cyrus is trying to sell here, so maybe Russia is a great place for this cover. Women there have beards and chop firewood. I think they wrestle cows too if the the results for "Russian women stereotypes" on Google are correct. Seriously, stick your tongue back in your mouth, ho. Also, do about 400 sets of weighted lunges and put on a training bra. This is just getting embarrassing now.

I'm sure there's a market for whatever Miley Cyrus is trying to sell here, so maybe Russia is a great place for this cover. Women there have beards and chop…

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Oh Shut The Hell UpBy toddDecember 14, 2011

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Lady Gaga was born Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta to an internet entrepreneur and lived a life of opulence in Manhattan’s affluent Upper West Side. Her daddy’s money allowed her to attend the private all-girls Roman Catholic school, Convent of the Sacred Heart, in Manhattan (again) before she was accepted to the prestigious Collaborative Arts Project 21 at New York University’s Tisch School of the Arts. So of course she knows all about being bullied and feeling like a freak who doesn’t belong. Oh no wait I meant her entire image and persona is a fabrication to pander to the only people who like her music. And apparently she needs to call a brainstorming session with her record label and manager, because obviously she’s run out of shit to talk about to make her sound “shocking”. Mirror UK reports:

Speaking about her upbringing, she said: “My parents’ room and the one I shared with my sister were on the top floor. There are no doors on the bedrooms. “My parents could hear everything me and my sister said growing up. And I heard them too.” She added: “I love being with my parents, but I also really fear domestication. I just don’t have a home. I stay between my friends’ places and my parents’.”

OMG! She heard her parents having sex! Can you even believe it?! Maybe in her next interview she’ll tell us about the time she heard her parents arguing over bills or what happens when you land on Free Parking or whatever else everybody in the fucking world has heard, you annoying pretentious bitch.

Lady Gaga was born Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta to an internet entrepreneur and lived a life of opulence in Manhattan’s affluent Upper West Side. Her daddy’s money allowed her to…

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Diddy Is Banging Cameron DiazBy toddDecember 14, 2011

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Lay off the Ciroc, nigga (wait, I can say “nigga”, right? I’m a minority, we’re all friends here. Hey, down with whitey and other minority things like that!). People reports:

Nearly a month after they were spotted together at lunch, Cameron Diaz and Diddy are keeping those dating rumors alive after a cozy night out at New York’s PH-D Rooftop Lounge atop the Dream Downtown Hotel. The actress started her night at Marble Lane Restaurant with a large group of friends before heading up to the roof after midnight. Diddy joined their table around 1:15, and ordered bottles of booze for the table, where Diaz was dancing with her friends and drinking, too. According to a source, the table was packed and “Cameron and Diddy were very affectionate.” Still, a rep says the two, who left the club with their friends around 3:15 a.m., are not an item.

“Lounge” and “bottles of booze” are really the only things that can explain this other than Diddy casting for his new show Making The Zombie, because Cameron Diaz looks like she belongs in a 2nd grade reading list book luring children into her gingerbread house.

Lay off the Ciroc, nigga (wait, I can say “nigga”, right? I’m a minority, we’re all friends here. Hey, down with whitey and other minority things like that!). People reports:…

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