Here’s A Video Of Floyd Mayweather Trying To ReadBy toddAugust 22, 2014
Here’s A Video Of Floyd Mayweather Trying To Read

 

As you may have already heard, instead of doing the ice bucket challenge, 50 Cent he would donate $750,000 to the charity of Floyd Mayweather‘s choice if Mayweather could read one single page of a Harry Potter book “out loud without starting and stopping or fucking up. lmao” That should be the easiest money any charity has ever made, but damn son.

So it looks like 50 Cent may have had good reason to challenge Floyd Mayweather to read a single page from one of the Harry Potter books. Above is a clip from this morning’s edition of The Breakfast Club on Power 105, in which co-host Charlamagne Tha God plays an unedited version of a drop Mayweather recorded for the show when he was a guest. It is not good. If watching or listening to other people embarrass themselves in public makes you cringe, you might want to skip this one. But if you do listen and you start to feel bad for Floyd, just remember that he is a misogynist and a serial batterer of women

 

I don’t know if this is edited or not, and I don’t know why it would be, but it’s safe to say that James Foley could read this faster than Floyd Mayweather.

 

 

  As you may have already heard, instead of doing the ice bucket challenge, 50 Cent he would donate $750,000 to the charity of Floyd Mayweather‘s choice if Mayweather could…
Donald Sterling’s Side Chick Says He’s Gay And She Was His “Beard Mistress”By toddAugust 22, 2014
Donald Sterling’s Side Chick Says He’s Gay And She Was His “Beard Mistress”

 

Much like when a man smells a new and willing vagina, when a woman smells money, there are literally no depths to what she will say or do to get her hands on all of it. These are just fact, people. So, knowing that, Donald Sterling‘s former mistress, V Stiviano, is now saying that Sterling is not only a racist, but a closet homosexual who used her as a “beard mistress”. Let that sink it for a minute.

Donald Sterling’s former assistant claims she never had sex with the billionaire bigot because he’s homosexual — and she was his beard. V. Stiviano made the bombshell allegation in court paperwork filed Thursday as an answer to a prior lawsuit filed by Sterling’s wife, Shelly Sterling, a source told the Daily News. Shelly Sterling’s original lawsuit depicted Stiviano as a money-grubbing femme fatale who duped the former Clippers owner into giving her a Ferrari, $240,000 in cash and a $1.8 million house on the outskirts of Beverly Hills. “We deny all the allegations,” Stiviano said in her answer to the original allegations. She maintains she was Sterling’s opposite-sex escort, who he paraded in public to conceal a truth he wanted to keep private. “V.S. was D.T.S’s beard for three years prior to the filing of suit,” the answer claimed. “V.S. is informed and believes that (Sterling) is a homosexual and enjoys sexual acts and or sexual congress with males.” The answer said that Shelly Sterling was “acutely aware of his orientation and condoned” his behavior, including his decision to give “gifts, money and other properties” to Stiviano for her public companionship. “Such gifts” were lavished “in the capacity” of Stiviano being “D.T.S. and Shelly’s beard,” the answer said.

So, let me get this straight. Donald Sterling is a closet homosexual. A closet homosexual who has managed to keep this a secret while having a beard wife for decades. But, wait, he didn’t stop there. He also hired a beard mistress, so people would think he was just a cheating prick instead of gay. Does this sound way too complicated to anyone? John Travolta and Kelly Preston are happily married and he’s never cheated on her. Just saying. I realize her contersuit doesn’t make sense, but please realize, it’s either this or finding a job.

  Much like when a man smells a new and willing vagina, when a woman smells money, there are literally no depths to what she will say or do to…
Ferguson Would Be Fine If Taylor Swift Didn’t Make A Music VideoBy toddAugust 22, 2014
Ferguson Would Be Fine If Taylor Swift Didn’t Make A Music Video

 

Taylor Swift released her video for “Shake It Off” earlier this week, and since it dropped during the Ferguson riots, and since  it contains :45 of people twerking and Taylor dressed as a breakdancer, obviously you can tell by not watching it that it’s “inherently offensive and ultimately harmful” and it is ripping the bandage off our nation’s collective healing process by being yet another example of a white artist appropriating “black culture”. I mean, obviously.  Speaking of stereotypes, the “feminist” blog  Jezebel jumped in, and they weren’t satisfied to just fire off a tweet, they systematically ripped the pretty girl to shreds. Yay for girl power and all that. Anyway, director Mark Romanek (the guy who directed all your favorite video from the 90s  that weren’t directed by Spike Jonze or Michel Gondry) sat down with Vulture to address the controversy.

We simply choose styles of dance that we thought would be popular and amusing and cast the best dancers that were presented to us without much regard to race or ethnicity. If you look at it carefully, it’s a massively inclusive piece. It’s very, very innocently and positively intentioned. And — let’s remember — it’s a satirical piece. It’s playing with a whole range of music-video tropes and clichés and stereotypes.

I don’t know about you, but what’s more “inherently offensive and ultimately harmful”? A dorky white girl with no real perspective on herself or love life trying to be funny and endearing, or a black artist in a thong rapping about giving up the ass to a coke dealer? I wonder which one young, impressionable black girl will pay more attention to? But if we want to argue this while martial law and racial tensions that have nothing to do with a skinny white girl in a ballerina outfit burn Ferguson to the ground, I guess we can. Let me go grab another coffee right quick. Don’t go anywhere, I’ll be right back.

 

 

  Taylor Swift released her video for “Shake It Off” earlier this week, and since it dropped during the Ferguson riots, and since  it contains :45 of people twerking and…

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Kristen Stewart Did The Ice Bucket Challenge WrongBy toddAugust 22, 2014

 

Since Kristen Stewart hates everything, she accepted Anne Hathaway‘s challenge to dump ice water on her head to cure ALS, by enlisting  her Equals co-star Nicholas Hoult and some dude named Scott Fahrendorf.  Then, uhhh…

“Hathaway, get this. This is a f–king real challenge,” Stewart tells the camera before the three dunk their faces into buckets of ice water, and hold their fully submerged heads under for about 10 seconds, before dumping the remaining water all over themselves. At the end of the video, Stewart notes that the challenge was done with “dirty bathwater,” and asks viewers to “Please be considerate of California water conservation.”

Man, that was really profound. They held their heads in a bucket for 10 seconds,  then dumped a bunch of water while preaching about water conservation. I think we can all agree that the world is a better place right now.

 

  Since Kristen Stewart hates everything, she accepted Anne Hathaway‘s challenge to dump ice water on her head to cure ALS, by enlisting  her Equals co-star Nicholas Hoult and some…

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Robert Pattinson Really Wants To Bang Katy PerryBy toddJune 16, 2014

Hey, here comes another "Robert Pattinson is trying to date Katy Perry" story.

Robert Pattinson and Katy Perry were looking cozy at an LA after-party for his movie “The Rover.” We’re told Perry sneaked into a Loft & Bear vodka-sponsored bash at Whiskey Blue at the W through the kitchen just before midnight and headed for a patio. “Later on, Robert joined her,” said a spy. Another witness said, “They were heavily flirting. At one point, Robert sauntered to the bar with a pal and was heard saying, ‘She’s so [bleeping] hot,’ nodding in Katy’s direction.”

Say what you want about Robert Pattinson playing a vampire who liked glitter and Kristen Stewart, but his great grankids will still be spending that Twilight money. Not that Katy Perry needs his money, but she should consult with her financial advisor to see if dating Robert Pattinson could alleviate a few expenses. She could probably get him to pay her phone bill and give her his Netflix login.

Hey, here comes another "Robert Pattinson is trying to date Katy Perry" story. Robert Pattinson and Katy Perry were looking cozy at an LA after-party for his movie “The Rover.”…

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Kim Kardashian Has A Butt Gym In Her HouseBy toddJune 16, 2014
Kim Kardashian Has A Butt Gym In Her House

Of course she does.

Have you ever heard of a "booty room"? Neither had we until we stumbled upon a rumor today that actually seems kind of believable given the recent Kimye happenings. Nevermind walls of roses or wedding celebrations at Versailles, outlets are reporting a rumor that Kim Kardashian has dedicated an entire room in her new Bel-Air mansion to beautifying, toning, and pampering her butt, and they're calling it a "booty room." So what does that involve exactly? Butt-toning gym equipment, including the ProForm Booty Firm, the Yukon Fitness Butt, and Thigh Shaper, the Suzanne Somers Buttmaster, and a range of butt-toning belts and resistance bands, the reports are saying. It doesn't stop there. There's also talk of a cellulite-busting "area" (whatever that means) and a bum-spa (whatever that means).

So does she just hang laundry in this room or what, because her ass has looked like a busted can of biscuits for like 10 years. You don't need a room in your house for that, you need outpatient surgery and a recovery room with candles. And while you're there you can give Ashley Greene the keys and wow that banner picture looks really Photoshopped.

Of course she does. Have you ever heard of a "booty room"? Neither had we until we stumbled upon a rumor today that actually seems kind of believable given the…

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Jennifer Lopez Is Twerking NowBy toddJune 16, 2014

 

Usually when a 44-year old woman picks up on a dance for the first time, it's at a wedding after two bottles of wine and the dance she's learning has only been done at weddings for like two years. On the other hand, if any ass was put here to be posted on YouTube twerking, it should be Jennifer Lopez's, right? I feel like it should be Jennifer Lopez's. We should all be in agreement on this.

  Usually when a 44-year old woman picks up on a dance for the first time, it's at a wedding after two bottles of wine and the dance she's learning…

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Miley Cyrus Is ToplessBy toddJune 16, 2014
Miley Cyrus Is Topless

 

Well, this picture now exists I guess. I don't know if it speaks to me on any sort of emotional level or whatever, but it does kinda let me know that Lana Del Rey recently hooked Miley up with her heroin dealer.

  Well, this picture now exists I guess. I don't know if it speaks to me on any sort of emotional level or whatever, but it does kinda let me…

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Wait, Han Solo Really Did Break His HipBy toddJune 16, 2014
Wait, Han Solo Really Did Break His Hip

 

Pictured: Rick Deckard and Rachael Not pictured: Han Solo

 

I was kidding, but not really I guess. Everything is basically broken on Harrison Ford now.

Harrison Ford’s injuries on the “Star Wars: Episode VII” set could be worse than previously reported. Ford, who plays Han Solo, broke his ankle Thursday when the door of a set fell on him at a British movie studio, but some news outlets claimed Saturday the actor, 71, also injured his pelvis. Ford had “pelvis injuries and may have had a chest X-ray,” an insider told the Sun newspaper.

Ok, Harrison Ford is 71. At 71 I'm guessing the hip kinda becomes hit or miss. So what exactly are they making him do, push the Millennium Falcon? I'm not understanding what's going on here. Just film all his scences in a chair. Why are we making this difficult? But as long as his arm is ok he can go pitch for the Braves.

  Pictured: Rick Deckard and Rachael Not pictured: Han Solo   I was kidding, but not really I guess. Everything is basically broken on Harrison Ford now. Harrison Ford’s injuries…

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Mila Kunis Will Have A Shredded VaginaBy toddJune 13, 2014
Mila Kunis Will Have A Shredded Vagina

 

In the July 2014 issue of Marie Claire, Mila Kunis talks about being pregnant and how big her boobs are now then this. Why always this?

“Two people are allowed in my delivery room. My doctor and my significant other. And he is staying above the action. He’ll be head to head. Not head to vag. Unless he wants to risk his life and see. But I wouldn’t if I were him. I highly doubt he wants to see that being ripped apart and shredded. Because it will be shredded. It’s just a matter of how badly.”

I'm not really sure about this post because what she said actually makes me like her more, but then I realize she's telling me to visualize her vagina being shredded. Are we talking like barbecue or tacos, because there are things I can associate with those so we can get past this.

  In the July 2014 issue of Marie Claire, Mila Kunis talks about being pregnant and how big her boobs are now then this. Why always this? “Two people are…

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