Ooh La LaBy toddJuly 05, 2011

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Because the water in New Jersey needs more contamination, Jersey Shore‘s Deena Cortese got in a bikini and went swimming this weekend. Look, I’m not going to tell you how long it took for me to edit these pics between rocking back and forth in the corner and pouring hydrogen peroxide in my eyes, but I would rather cut my own dick off and feed give it to a dog than get my dick anywhere near whatever the hell this is. And if the dog picked up my dick and looked like he might walk in her direction, I’d shoot the dog in the head and kick it then run away really fast.

Because the water in New Jersey needs more contamination, Jersey Shore‘s Deena Cortese got in a bikini and went swimming this weekend. Look, I’m not going to tell you how…

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Adrianne Curry Is Really ShyBy toddJuly 05, 2011

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Still an emotional wreck and distraught since her break up with Christopher Knight, Adrianne Curry got on Twitter and posted pics showing her vulnerable side and her ability to be stron…wait, I meant she showed her tits and ass. Oh my God, I know! I almost couldn’t believe it either! I can’t wait to see what she posts next! Who knows what it’ll be!

Still an emotional wreck and distraught since her break up with Christopher Knight, Adrianne Curry got on Twitter and posted pics showing her vulnerable side and her ability to be…

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Rachel Nichols Does MaximBy toddJuly 05, 2011

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Rachel Nichols played Scarlett O’Hara in 2009’s G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra, and now she’s on the August 2011 cover of Maxim. Man, look at the rocket ship Rachel Nichols’ Career take off! Also, tits!

Rachel Nichols played Scarlett O’Hara in 2009’s G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra, and now she’s on the August 2011 cover of Maxim. Man, look at the rocket ship Rachel…

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Kelly Brook Buys MeatBy jessJuly 03, 2011
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Kelly Brook was photographed leaving a butcher shop yesterday wearing this dress. Ladies, when you run to the grocery store in sweatpants and granny panties for Lean Cuisine and Us Weekly, remember these pictures. And you may as well remember the ice cream too, since you’ll probably die alone.

Kelly Brook was photographed leaving a butcher shop yesterday wearing this dress. Ladies, when you run to the grocery store in sweatpants and granny panties for Lean Cuisine and Us…

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Aaron Carter Didn’t Do Coke With Michael JacksonBy jessJuly 02, 2011

Good to know. TMZ reports:

Aaron Carter’s rep claims the singer NEVER told an entertainment reporter Michael Jackson gave him cocaine and alcohol when he was 15 years old … and says the reporter COMPLETELY FABRICATED the story. The controversy stems from an article that ran in OK! Magazine in Australia, written by international journalist Daphne Barak. In the article, Carter was quoted as saying, “Yes, [MJ] gave me wine. I mean, I could have refused, but I was 15. As for drugs? He gave me cocaine.” But Carter’s rep tells TMZ, “Nothing was said that was reported” … and directed us toward a YouTube video of the interview with Barak … which seems to back up Aaron’s side of the story.

Of course Michael Jackson didn’t give Aaron Carter (more…)

Good to know. TMZ reports: Aaron Carter’s rep claims the singer NEVER told an entertainment reporter Michael Jackson gave him cocaine and alcohol when he was 15 years old ……

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KONG TAKE DIETS PILLS THEY NOT WORK RED DRESS!!!By toddJuly 01, 2011

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Does Khloe Kardashian wear Spanx? Of course she does. Don’t be silly. Daily Mail reports:

But Khloe Kardashian accidentally let the cat out of the bag when she revealed her Spanx underwear yesterday. The reality star wore the flesh-coloured slip beneath a bright red dress, but the frock’s asymmetrical hemline rode up at one point, putting the unattractive undergarment on display.

In her defense, I guess it would be hard trying to look like a female when you look like you’re only walking the earth because scientists extracted DNA from insects preserved in prehistoric amber. I bet she has to burn herself with a car cigarette lighter or stab herself with her keys to suppress her natural instincts when she sees anything containing bamboo. Mmmm, bamboo. Khloe want taste. Why you no let Khloe taste?

Does Khloe Kardashian wear Spanx? Of course she does. Don’t be silly. Daily Mail reports: But Khloe Kardashian accidentally let the cat out of the bag when she revealed her…

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Lego BritneyBy toddMay 05, 2010

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I could write this site for a thousand years and still not have as much money as Britney Spears, so if someone could explain why she can’t seem to get her ant farm weave right, I would appreciate it. Her hair looks like something Darth Vader would wear if he tried to buy Funyuns and a case of Milwaukee’s Best with an endorsed child support check.

I could write this site for a thousand years and still not have as much money as Britney Spears, so if someone could explain why she can’t seem to get…

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Jessica Biel Was There TooBy toddMay 04, 2010

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For some reason, I forgot to add Jessica Biel’s hot ass (literally) to the Metropolitan Museum of Art’s Costume Institute Gala post, so I’m making up for that. Christ. Hummingbirds would send me hate mail for how fast I would lick this chick’s vagina, so it’s a little disappointing that she’s still with Justin Timberlake. I’m close to recalibrating my cyborg werewolves to only attack dancing wiggers with buzzed down Jew fros, but I am patient. Soon, my sweet. Soon…

For some reason, I forgot to add Jessica Biel’s hot ass (literally) to the Metropolitan Museum of Art’s Costume Institute Gala post, so I’m making up for that. Christ. Hummingbirds…

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Mother Of The YearBy toddMay 04, 2010

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Lindsay Lohan skipped out on her first two depositions for the time in 2007 that she carjacked a Denali and chased her assistant down PCH, so Dina Lohan flew in from NYC yesterday to make sure Lindsay was present today. Oh wait, I mean she made sure she partied with Lindsay at the Chateau Marmont until 2:30am. TMZ reports:

Lindsay Lohan is clearly in a better place now that her mom is in town — actually, it’s the same ol’ place … the Chateau Marmont where mother/daughter partied until 2 AM today. If Lindsay made a beeline for home, she might get 5 or 6 hours of sleep before her deposition this morning … if she doesn’t appear this morning it will be her 3rd no-show and she’ll probably lose the case. Lindsay is being sued by passengers in a car who claim they were held hostage by LiLo during a crazy, drunken ride down Pacific Coast Highway in 2007.

Her appointment was a 10am PT, and guess what? She didn’t show up. But TMZ reports that “she’s on the way”, whatever the hell that means. Somebody should tell Lindsay that depositions have open bars and speedball sampler platters, because that’s the only you’re gonna get this fuck up inside that room. You’d have an easier time teaching a T-Rex to sync an iPhone than you would teaching Lindsay how to take responsibility for her actions.

Lindsay Lohan skipped out on her first two depositions for the time in 2007 that she carjacked a Denali and chased her assistant down PCH, so Dina Lohan flew in…

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The 2010 Met’s Costume Gala Looked FunBy toddMay 04, 2010

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I have no idea what the Metropolitan Museum of Art’s Costume Institute Gala is, but I just checked, and it appears that there hasn’t been this much hot ass in one place since Chernobyl.

I have no idea what the Metropolitan Museum of Art’s Costume Institute Gala is, but I just checked, and it appears that there hasn’t been this much hot ass in…

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