Joaquin Phoenix Might Be Your New Lex LuthorBy toddDecember 20, 2013
Joaquin Phoenix Might Be Your New Lex Luthor

 

With Henry Cavill and Ben Affleck already cast as Superman and Batman, WB thought it might be a good idea to hire somebody who could act to play one the greatest villains in comic book history in Batman vs. Superman.  Enter Joaquin Phoenix as Lex Luthor. This is much better than my Bryan Cranston fantasy. Variety reports:

Sources tell Variety that the studio wants the Oscar-nominated actor for a role in the upcoming untitled Batman-Superman pic. However, it’s very early in the process and even if Warners offers Phoenix a role, it’s not clear he would accept as the actor has steered clear of big-budget pics in the past few years, leaning towards movies with a more prestige feel. Phoenix is also weighing an offer on the Gus Van Sant pic “Sea of Trees” and is believed to still be considering that offer as well. WB and the actor’s reps had no comment. Though sources couldn’t confirm what the role is, it’s believed to be for the main antagonist, which is likely to be Lex Luthor. Names like Jason Momoa and Callan Mulvey have been linked to the film but even if those actors are cast, sources are saying that they wouldn’t play the main villain, and that Warners has always wanted someone who would be a slam dunk in the role.

So, okay, I'm fully on board with this because even though his brother looked like an angel sent from heaven who also might have herpes and he looks like a candidate for Operation Smile, Joaquin Phoenix is the better actor. There. I said it. Just watch The Master then imagine that guy as Lex Luthor. He'd have to put Sriracha on the script because chewing up all those scenes would start to taste bland after a while.

  With Henry Cavill and Ben Affleck already cast as Superman and Batman, WB thought it might be a good idea to hire somebody who could act to play one…

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Good Morning, DoucheBy toddDecember 20, 2013

Look, I didn't get a lot of sleep last night, so if you want to complain about Justin Bieber looking like a lesbian in a pimp costume for Halloween being the first post of the day, feel free. Just know that after I curb stomp him, I'm coming after you next. Wow. I'm sorry, That was rude. I just had my first cup of coffee, so I apologize. How's your day going? Really? That's great. Haha your sister really said that? She's so funny. What's your travel plans for next week? Cool cool.

Look, I didn't get a lot of sleep last night, so if you want to complain about Justin Bieber looking like a lesbian in a pimp costume for Halloween being…

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Whore: The Next GenerationBy toddJanuary 05, 2010

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Lindsay Lohan will be dead soon, because it’s only matter of time before they find her wrapped in a tarp in that landfill because she tried to pay for blow with Yu-Gi-Oh! cards or a piece of green construction paper that she wrote “COKE MONEY” on, so luckily for us her sister Ali is ready to step in immediately. Not so luckily for us, on the other hand, is that she looks like pieces of dead homeless jr. high girls that a scientist stitched together to make a Lindsay. And one of those jr. high girls should have went bigger on the implants. Who knows, maybe that’s why she died. Chicks with small tits are known thieves and prone to other criminal acts.

Lindsay Lohan will be dead soon, because it’s only matter of time before they find her wrapped in a tarp in that landfill because she tried to pay for blow…

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IDLYITW’s Top 10 Posts Of 2009By toddJanuary 04, 2010

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Not to be confused with the top stories of 2009, here are the Top 10 IDLYITW Posts of 2009 according to your votes. Yeah so, wow, I’m kind of a jackass.

10. David Carradine Probably Didn’t Hang Himself (June 5, 2009)
What happens in Thailand, really stays in Thailand.

9. How Romantic (January 21, 2009)
I’m so edgy with my political satire!

8. Chastity Bono Is Dumb (November 19, 2009)
The LBGT community still might have a contract out on my head for this one. Probably at Paul Mitchell. Their pure and natural ingredients are tested by hairdressers, never on animals!

7. John Travolta Finally Admits His Son Was Austic (September 24, 2009)
What? No I’m not crying! I just have something in my eye! Can’t you just leave me alone?!

6. Shut Up (December 1, 2009)
He’s here and he’s really, really fuckin queer.

5. Dear God (October 23, 2009)
Looking at these pictures can give you an erection for up to 36 hours. For when the time is right.

4. Roman Polanksi Is Mad (September 29, 2009)
I had a few Red Bulls that morning. Sorry about that.

3. Jessica Simpson Is A Damn Idiot (September 16, 2009)
If a coyote takes your dog away in his mouth, there’s a good chance he won’t be contacting you with the terms of it’s release.

2. Jennifer Aniston Is Adopting (April 29, 2009)
Brad.

1. Michael Jackson Died (June 25, 2009)
This received the most votes by far and it got me the most death threats. I don’t know whether to be honored or lock myself in the attic.

Not to be confused with the top stories of 2009, here are the Top 10 IDLYITW Posts of 2009 according to your votes. Yeah so, wow, I’m kind of a…

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Hayden Panettiere Has ChangedBy toddJanuary 04, 2010
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Hayden Panettiere is apparently dating heavyweight boxer Wladimir Klitschko, and he’s obviously punched her in the chest a few times, because where did those tits come from? And why is he dating her, it can’t be for sex can it? He’s 6’6″ and she’s not tall enough to ride the teacups at the fair. He might as well be fucking a koala.

My penis’s reaction to these can only be fully recreated by this:

Hayden Panettiere is apparently dating heavyweight boxer Wladimir Klitschko, and he’s obviously punched her in the chest a few times, because where did those tits come from? And why is…

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Kim Kardashian Does One Thing WellBy toddDecember 31, 2009

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George Romero could make a movie about how much of a dead lay she was in her sex tape, but Kim Kardashian can’t go to any function without subtlety knowing what she’s based her entire image on. So for me to get turned on here it would probably take somebody riding a stationary bike hooked up to a car battery.

George Romero could make a movie about how much of a dead lay she was in her sex tape, but Kim Kardashian can’t go to any function without subtlety knowing…

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