Jessica Alba Isn’t DepressingBy toddJune 06, 2014

 

Like mass shootings, it's hard to keep track of all the rape posts on the site today, so to help that, here's Jessica Alba in a commercial either about ice cream or a Lambo. I can't really tell, but this just further drives the point home that we should have all have access to free chocolate covered condoms. You can cover pretty much anything in chocolate and a chick will put her mouth on it at least once. And if we decide on chocolate wine flavored condoms it's game over. GAME. OVER.

  Like mass shootings, it's hard to keep track of all the rape posts on the site today, so to help that, here's Jessica Alba in a commercial either about…

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You Can’t Smoke Meth With UsBy toddJune 06, 2014

Legendary star of the stage and screen, Lindsay Lohan, was photographed leaving Chiltern Firehouse in London last night, and it should be obvious to everyone that she was there to celebrate her starring role in the new Star Wars movie or her engagement to Leonardo DiCaprio or whatever delusional, insane shit she believed when she was high on cocaine.

Legendary star of the stage and screen, Lindsay Lohan, was photographed leaving Chiltern Firehouse in London last night, and it should be obvious to everyone that she was there to…

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Justin Bieber Is Posting Bible Verses NowBy toddJune 05, 2014

 

Justin Bieber has only been alive for 20 years, but during that time, he's pissed in a mop bucket, screamed at mother and her child who were asking for an autograph, sang a song about niggers and the KKK on video, egged his neighbor's house, charged with reckless driving through his neighborhood, committed vandalism, got busted for a DUI on an expired license, assaulted a limo driver, resisted arrest, impregnated Selena Gomez out of wedlock, and informed police that he smokes weed and takes prescription drugs. But it's important to remember that he's a follower of our lord and savior Jesus Christ and his teachings, and since he got his head dunked underwater one time, everything he's done doesn't matter because he's going to heaven. Why don't you haters understand this?

 

 

  Justin Bieber has only been alive for 20 years, but during that time, he's pissed in a mop bucket, screamed at mother and her child who were asking for…
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Carmen Electra Still Looks Like ThisBy toddJune 05, 2014

I was kinda under the impression that Carmen Electra was either dead or spending the remaining days of her life doing opiates in Dubai, but apparently she's still alive and could reasonably spend the remaining days of her life doing opiates in Dubai because she's still looking pretty damn hot. And she's 42. It's like my entire world view is crumbling. I'm sorry. I can't type anymore here. I have to go let it all out in my diary.

I was kinda under the impression that Carmen Electra was either dead or spending the remaining days of her life doing opiates in Dubai, but apparently she's still alive and…

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What’s Good, Emma Roberts?By toddJune 05, 2014
What’s Good, Emma Roberts?

 

Emma Roberts assaulted her boyfriend but didn't get charged because she was just "emotional" and "passionate" (add that to my Lana Del Rey post) and she also looks like this in a bikini. So if you combine those two qualities, I'd very much like to have sex with her. Hopefully she wouldn't ask me to go in the water with her because she'll know my back would sting. It really is about the little things. She really is sweet once you get to know her. You don't know her like I do. She only hits me because she loves me.

  Emma Roberts assaulted her boyfriend but didn't get charged because she was just "emotional" and "passionate" (add that to my Lana Del Rey post) and she also looks like…

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Here’s The New Justin Bieber Video Where He Sings About The KKKBy toddJune 05, 2014

 

Would they even take Justin Bieber? He has all his teeth as far as I know, right?

We're told when Justin was 14 … he had seen a random video online in which a comedian parodied his song, "One Less Lonely Girl," but the guy replaced the word "girl" with the n-word. Justin then parodied the parody … right on camera. We're told years ago Justin told both Usher and Will Smith about the videos, saying he knew almost immediately it was a stupid thing to do … Usher took him into a room and showed him historically racist videos to drive home how hurtful these words can be. Bieber and his team say various people have tried to extort him over the last few years — demanding money for both this video and the one he made when he was 15. Justin says he will not be shaken down anymore. He says he wants people to see the video and he wants to accept responsibility.

Yeah, it was pretty dumb and horrific and he should gladly accept any backlash he gets from this, but the only thing I'm taking away here is that Usher has a room in his house where he collects historically racist videos. That doesn't sound like very much fun at parties. Thanks for bringing the whole room down, Usher.

Unfortunately your browser does not support IFrames.   Would they even take Justin Bieber? He has all his teeth as far as I know, right? We're told when Justin was…

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NopeBy toddJune 05, 2014
Nope

 

Demi Lovato got a new haircut, and it's some kind of weird thing where its short on one side and long on the other and purple. Not really sure what look she's going for here, but if she wanted to look like she grew up playing lacrosse in a field with an overturned car when she wasn't cleaning bathrooms in a casino, she pretty much nailed it.

  Demi Lovato got a new haircut, and it's some kind of weird thing where its short on one side and long on the other and purple. Not really sure…

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Lana Del Rey Says Feminism Is ‘Just Not An Interesting Concept’By toddJune 05, 2014
Lana Del Rey Says Feminism Is ‘Just Not An Interesting Concept’

 

I'm in love.

Lana Del Rey opened up in a recent interview, denouncing feminism and discussing a mystery illness that afflicted her while touring in support of her 2012 debut Born to Die. Regarding her views on gender equality, she told Fader, "For me, the issue of feminism is just not an interesting concept. . . Whenever people bring up feminism, I'm like, god. I'm just not really that interested." She went on to say, "I'm more interested in, you know, SpaceX and Tesla, what's going to happen with our intergalactic possibilities." Lana Del Rey's Odd 'Summertime Sadness' Success When asked more about her feelings on feminism, she defined the word. "My idea of a true feminist is a woman who feels free enough to do whatever she wants." And when the interviewer followed up that statement by asking her why she's often choked in her videos, she said, "I like a little hardcore love."

First, it's obvious that Lana Del Rey has access to some kickass drugs, but didn't she just say feminism is when a woman can do whatever she wants? So what exactly is the problem? Because if you're more concerned with whether or not a person finds your concept interesting rather than what she believes your concept actually means, then you're kind of a dick. And she's right, feminism isn't really all that interesting, because depending on who you ask, it's either about "women's equality" or "gender equality" then you have male femisnists and everything gets confusing then you get mad when I don't hold the door for you and your message gets kinda lost. I'm not sure why we haven't figured out that everything women and other minority groups want is already covered by the 14th amendment, but we're talking about women here, so it's alway less stressful when you make them feel important or that they're included in your plans besides showing up at a specific time so you can bang them. It sucks women still don't receive equal pay for equal work, but it usually ends up working itself out and you have a ton of fall back options. For example, if your job isn't paying you enough and you need some time to think about your next move, just get pregnant and your job will pay you to take vacation! That's pretty cool, right?!  Or just meet a rich guy, marry him, then hope he cheats on you. That's residual montly income right there. And if he refuses to pay, you can always say he's "not a real man" and embarrass him so he pays you! Maybe even more if you shut up about it! Or if you buy into the patriarchy and general consensus of doctors about living a healthy lifestyle to maintain an attractive body, people will actually pay you to let them see it on stage! You can make like $1,000 just for one song! That's really awesome. And if none of these options appeal to you, you can keep your job and save a lot of money due to the societal obligation that states men pay for all your dates. Dates can really add up, so think of all the money you're saving! That money can be better served for Starbucks or when H&M has a sale, especially for all the pumpkin spice. Ladies, you know I love you, but I feel like I didn't cover everything. Did I cover everything? Oh yeah, the engagement ring you can sale if true love doesn't work out. That's a pretty big one. Cha-ching!!

  I'm in love. Lana Del Rey opened up in a recent interview, denouncing feminism and discussing a mystery illness that afflicted her while touring in support of her 2012…

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This Is Peter Dinklage’s Yearbook PictureBy toddJune 04, 2014
This Is Peter Dinklage’s Yearbook Picture

 

When you're 4'5" and have a mullet, there's not much anybody can tell you (except people who operate fair rides), because you're obviously a rebel who plays by his own rules. I'm not sure what rules those would be, but by looking at this picture, I'm think maybe Dungeons and Dragons?

  When you're 4'5" and have a mullet, there's not much anybody can tell you (except people who operate fair rides), because you're obviously a rebel who plays by his…
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OkBy toddJune 04, 2014

I guess I have to post about another Kardashian sister today, because after Khloe ate a girl 10 sizes smaller than her, she took her dress then went shopping in South Hampton. I can't tell if this is an ass or a modification made by the scientists who created her to allow her to survive for an extended period of time in the scarcity of the dessert much like a camel. Damn gurrlll I like your humps. Tell me more about the mass of store­d fat in a layer right beneath your skin that allows you to conserve water thereby effectively regulating your body temperature. So hot.

I guess I have to post about another Kardashian sister today, because after Khloe ate a girl 10 sizes smaller than her, she took her dress then went shopping in…

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