I'm not going to lie to you, I have no idea nor do I really care what the Variety Breakthrough Of The Year Awards are, but apparently they have them every year, and this year, Maria Menounos showed up in this dress and omg dat ass. Sorry, did that sound like I was objectifying her? Good, because I totally was just then. Because we're all looking at the same pictures here. Specifically, pictures of said dat ass. Jesus talked about it in the Bible once. For real, look it up. "Damn, son. Booty had me like..," Jesus was quoted as saying.
Sorry to all three of you who watched it. The LA Times reports:
Goodbye, Charlie: “Charlie’s Angels” is joining the cancellation club after four episodes. The news comes a day after ABC announced full-season pickups for freshman series “Suburgatory” and “Revenge.” The network’s attempt at revamping the 1970s campy series with Minka Kelly, Annie Ilonzeh and Rachael Taylor as three young female detectives in Miami proved futile. The series brought in 8.7 million viewers with its Sept. 22 premiere, but the numbers dropped from there. Thursday’s episode garnered 6 million viewers, a marginal increase from the previous week. Production has already shut down on the series, and remaining episodes will air until the network decides what will fill the time slot.
When will people realize that the original show was only half-decent because there wasn’t Internet porn in the ’70s? Any and all reboots are doomed to fail. The movie remake did less for Demi Moore than Sarah Leal did, so I’m not sure why they thought this one would work out. Since developing an actual acting ability is a lot of work, in order to maintain relevance and a spot as filler on this site, expect Minka Kelly to start banging Derek Jeter again in 3… 2…
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In case you were on the fence about Lindsay Lohan is an entitled, self-important, spoiled child with no concept of consequences who spits in the face of the law at every turn while thinking she’s a part of the fashion world in Paris by being a prostitute to get into shows, I hope this helps. TMZ reports:
Lindsay Lohan has been kicked out of the program where she was supposed to complete her community service because she violated the rules numerous times … TMZ has learned. Judge Stephanie Sautner ordered Lohan to serve 360 hours at the Downtown Women’s Center in L.A., as part of her probation in the shoplifting case. Part of the deal — the judge required her to be reliable, non-disruptive, and serve at least 4 hours at a time. But sources tell us … Lindsay blew off 9 scheduled visits … and when she did show up, she would often bail after working there for only an hour. Sources say … 2 weeks ago, she was terminated from the Women’s Center because of the violations.
Lindsay also failed to see her psychologist once a week. And why should she? Anybody with those teeth has to be of sound mind.
Lindsay Lohan has violated the judge’s order in her probation case by not seeing a psychologist at least once a week … TMZ has learned … and that may be enough to send her to the slammer. Judge Stephanie Sautner made it clear to Lindsay during her sentence last May … she MUST see the shrink every week, but she has not. We’re told one of her excuses is that she’s been working out of the country, but Judge Sautner made it extremely clear … work is not an excuse for failing to comply with the terms of probation.
And I hope you didn’t think Lindsay wasn’t going to stand on a chair and jump up and down and point at everyone else for making her only complete 21 hours of community service since July did you? Of course you didn’t. TMZ reports:
Lindsay Lohan is telling friends … she was unfairly booted from the Downtown Women’s Center … insisting the staff was REALLY mean to her from the second she arrived. Lohan has assured her inner circle … she did everything she was asked to do while performing her court-ordered community service at the L.A. center over the past few months … and NEVER showed up late. TMZ broke the story … the people in the Probation Dept. responsible for overseeing Lindsay’s probation decided Lindsay could not go back to the Women’s Center, because she repeatedly didn’t show up, and when she did she would bail after an hour — a violation of the judge’s order that she serve 4 hours at a time.
“Lindsay is going to blame this on the paparazzi, again, like she always does. Her excuse to staffers at DWC was that she was being hounded by the press, and just couldn’t make it out of the car, and into the building. Yes, there were photographers around when she did show up, but it wasn’t intrusive, and didn’t impeed upon anyone’s ability to maneuver in or out of the building,” a source close to the situation tells RadarOnline.com.
Lindsay’s next progress hearing is in four days, and I swear to God, if they don’t taser her then feed her to a pit of lions as soon as she gets out the car, then what exactly is point of having a hearing or putting her on probation? Nothing they have done so far has worked. Not the warnings. Not the fifth and sixth chances. Not the threat of jail time. Not the public beheading. Not the promi…wait, they haven’t mentioned a public beheading yet? That should look into that. Because I’m pretty sure cutting off her head will free up a lot of the court’s calendar.
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No matter what her lawyers say, here is my girlfriend Ashley Greene walking around L.A. yesterday talking on the phone. See how happy she looks? I used a number she didn’t recognize this time then I disguised my voice and told her Martin Scorsese wants her as the lead in his new movie. And if she wants the part, she should show up for a meeting. At my address. I bet she’ll think my surprise will be so romantic!
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You won’t believe this, but Adrianne Curry was using Twitter, then took a picture of herself, then put it on Twitter. I know! My mind is blown! But I hope everybody understands why she posted this picture. And I agree with her. That area rug would make a nice addition to any home and looks great on hardwoods.
I know everyone has been waiting on pins and needles, so finally, here’s Rihanna’s Sexiest Woman Alive cover for Esquire. Because the ability to take a punch is sexy apparently.
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“Who gives a shit?” – everyone in the entire world. Radar Online reports:
Kim Kardashian’s new husband, Kris Humphries, has already lost his wedding ring — less than two months after tying the knot! Humphries gold and black diamond wedding band went missing at a Minneapolis airport leaving the basketball player in a state of panic, according to one eyewitness. Good Samaritan Omar Ahmad was going through the metal detector when Humphries lost the Lorraine Schwartz sparkler. “Kris must have had to take off all his jewelry or it slipped off his finger because he was freaking out and frantically looking for it yelling ‘where’s my ring?!'” Ahmad said, in an interview. “He was crawling on his knees looking for it underneath the x-ray machine. No one was helping him and very few actually recognized him except for me. So I stepped in to help.”…After 10 minutes on their knees, Ahmad said he found the band in the corner and security grabbed it. “Kris was just so thankful I helped him and and didn’t just leave him. It’s funny, I was really the only one who knew who he was.”
I assume Kris Jenner already cashed E!’s check, so I’m not understanding why Humphries was in such a panic to find this thing. There were no cameras or production staff around, so it’s not like it actually happened. You might as well tell me you saw a unicorn playing basketball. The Kardashians won’t get diagnosed with cancer or die in a plane crash unless the lighting is correct and the scene has been properly blocked first.
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Paul McCartney married his girlfriend of four years, Nancy Shevell, in England yesterday. All his troubles seemed so far away. Now it looks as though they’re here to stay, oh I believe…nevermind. Us Magazine reports:
Paul McCartney and Nancy Shevell said “I do” in England Sunday, Us Weekly confirms. The former Beatle, 69, wed Shevell, 51, in a small ceremony at the registry office in Marylebone. A source tells Us the duo are planning to throw a separate party in NYC for their friends in the United States.…In May, Shevell told The New York Post her and McCartney’s wedding would include “just our families.” She added: “Don’t ask what I’ll wear because how dressy do you get to stand before a Justice of the Peace in his chambers, which is exactly what we’re going to do.” A source tells Us McCartney proposed to Shevell in April “during a romantic candlelit dinner for two” after four years of dating. As for the ring? It’s estimated to be worth an impressive $650,000!
This is Paul McCartney’s third marriage. His first wife died of cancer and his second wife got hit by a car and lost her leg. They probably should have used this wedding as the first scene of the new Final Destination movie, because it’s pretty clear Nancy Shevell will have a piano fall on her head at some point.
After Ashton cheated on their anniversary (and got photographed doing it), Demi Moore is finally seeing a lawyer. Radar says:
Demi Moore has decided to end her marriage to Ashton Kutcher and consulted a divorce attorney Friday, Britain’s Mail on Sunday is reporting. “Miss Moore has been totally humiliated. On Friday, therefore, she consulted a lawyer about getting a divorce,” an insider told the newspaper. Star magazine broke the story of Two and a Half Men star Ashton and Demi’s six-year marriage being over after allegations were made that he’d cheated on her with Sara Leal, a 23-year-old party girl he met in San Diego. As RadarOnline.com has been reporting, Kutcher and Moore have a fortune estimated at $290 million that stands to be split in a divorce.