The Taylor Swift GQ Shoot Has A VideoBy toddOctober 20, 2015
The Taylor Swift GQ Shoot Has A Video


 By now I’m sure you’ve read Taylor Swift‘s lack of self-awareness GQ interview, so here’s the video from the photoshoot.  I thought this would do it for me, but I don’t think anyone has discovered anything that’s less sexier than whatever is happening here yet. She looks like she would present her husband a note from her doctor verifying that her hymen is intact on her wedding day.



 By now I’m sure you’ve read Taylor Swift‘s lack of self-awareness GQ interview, so here’s the video from the photoshoot.  I thought this would do it for me, but I…

Related Posts:

Tags:
Lunch Dump – MondayBy toddOctober 19, 2015

Jessica Lowndes had a coupon for lingerie. This is an important thing to know. Let this post nourish you as you sit at your desk and try not to think about how you’re making somebody else rich. Happy Monday, everyone!

Jessica Lowndes had a coupon for lingerie. This is an important thing to know. Let this post nourish you as you sit at your desk and try not to think…

Related Posts:

Tags:
Good Morning, Bella ThorneBy toddOctober 19, 2015
Good Morning, Bella Thorne


Bella Thorne posted this picture to Instagram yesterday. That’s it. That’s all I have. I mean, for you not her.  I feel the need to clarify that. lol I’m talking about my penis and an affordably priced dinner.


You know you wanna look at these again. Don’t fight it.


Bella Thorne posted this picture to Instagram yesterday. That’s it. That’s all I have. I mean, for you not her.  I feel the need to clarify that. lol I’m talking…
The Duggars’ New Show Throws Josh Right Under The BusBy toddOctober 19, 2015
The Duggars’ New Show Throws Josh Right Under The Bus


Jessa and Jill Duggar come back to TLC with Jill & Jessa: Counting On (counting as in babies, the only math they’re allowed to use) and according to the first sneak peek, they immediately throw Josh Duggar under the bus then detonate the IED they had planted on the bus. 


(more…)

Jessa and Jill Duggar come back to TLC with Jill & Jessa: Counting On (counting as in babies, the only math they’re allowed to use) and according to the first…

Related Posts:

Tags: ,
George Zimmerman Gave His Virginia Shootings Hot TakeBy toddAugust 27, 2015
George Zimmerman Gave His Virginia Shootings Hot Take



Much like your Facebook friends who tell you that the Confederate flag had nothing to do with slavery or that the systematic slaughter of black men by militarized police has nothing to do with race and that we should all be colorblind while attaching an out of context Martin Luther King, Jr. quote, George Zimmerman (along with those same Facebook friends) also claimed that when he stalked and killed Trayvon Martin that it wasn’t about race. Also, when George Zimmerman painted Confederate flags to support a “Muslim-free” gun shop, he wasn’t being racist, he was being a patriot. So, I’m kinda confused now, because you know what is about race? OMG A BLACK GAY KILLED TWO STRAIGHT WHITE PEOPLE


As you might have already read, it’s pretty hard to tell if your Conservative friends are more upset that two white people got killed or more happy that a black, gay guy did it. Vester Flanagan II doesn’t get the “lone wolf with a history of mental illness”, because well, black and gay. He isn’t allowed to drink out of that water fountain. That being said, George Zimmerman went on Twitter last night to give his opinion on the Virginia shootings that left WDBJ-TV reporter Alison Parker and photographer Adam Ward dead. Please keep in mind, George Zimmerman is NOT RACIST.


Presented without comment:



(more…)

Much like your Facebook friends who tell you that the Confederate flag had nothing to do with slavery or that the systematic slaughter of black men by militarized police has…

Related Posts:

Tags:
Hilary Duff Wore These PantsBy toddAugust 27, 2015

While I was busy with Christian hypocrisy and America’s #1 fetish yesterday, Hilary Duff walked around West Hollywood in these pants. Sorry I missed them. If you look close, her thighs and butt are usually reserved for black girls, any cocktail waitress in Miami, and white girls from the South. Hilary Duff is from Texas, so mystery solved. She’s also reportedly dating her personal trainer. So I guess if you need a Hilary Duff expert for your next trivia night. I’m your man. I’m also pretty good at 90s hip hop and art from the neo-impressionism movement.

While I was busy with Christian hypocrisy and America’s #1 fetish yesterday, Hilary Duff walked around West Hollywood in these pants. Sorry I missed them. If you look close, her…

Related Posts:

Tags:
Derrick Rose Might Have Drugged, Gang Raped His GirlfriendBy toddAugust 27, 2015
Derrick Rose Might Have Drugged, Gang Raped His Girlfriend


“Yo, these kicks come with an ankle, fam?'”


NBA 2K16 Chicago Bulls’ player and sometimes real Chicago Bulls’ player, Derrick Rose, is being sued by his ex-girlfriend who claims Rose and his friends drugged her then broke into her apartment and gang raped her. Not very romantic.

(more…)

“Yo, these kicks come with an ankle, fam?’” NBA 2K16 Chicago Bulls’ player and sometimes real Chicago Bulls’ player, Derrick Rose, is being sued by his ex-girlfriend who claims Rose…
Tags:
Christine Teigen Is Good At TwitterBy toddApril 20, 2011

[SinglePic not found]

I’m gonna lie for a second and say Chrissy Teigen and John Legend are really great friends of mine (remember that table I got you at Tobacco Road? BFFs do that). Now that’s out of the way, besides her mutant power to accurately predict earthquakes before they happen and being a total sweetheart who emailed me asking how I was after SIXTY-TWO tornadoes hit NC this weekend, Chrissy Teigen is by far the funniest person I follow on Twitter. I mean, like it’s not even close. So for her 10,000 tweet, she celebrated by posting the banner pic. I don’t know. Maybe I should have paid more attention to my piano teacher as a kid. But damn, bitch! How many times do I have to play “Chopsticks”?! Seriously, am I playing piano or typing?! I hate you!!

I’m gonna lie for a second and say Chrissy Teigen and John Legend are really great friends of mine (remember that table I got you at Tobacco Road? BFFs do…

Related Posts:

Tags: ,
Jennifer Love Hewitt Has Basically Just Given UpBy toddApril 20, 2011

[Gallery not found]

It’s going to take an elderly Mexican dragon to unlock a great, leather bound book and read a passage from the chapter “1998” for anybody under 20 to believe the myth that Jennifer Love Hewitt was once a hot piece of ass. She was. Now either she thinks it’s Christmas or L.A. is under a sever winter weather advisory, because she’s wearing about twenty layers of clothes. Maybe she wants people to think it’s Christmas, because that when people bring over pies. Who knows why she’s getting so fat. Maybe she wants to be one of People’s 2012 Most Beautiful People.

It’s going to take an elderly Mexican dragon to unlock a great, leather bound book and read a passage from the chapter “1998” for anybody under 20 to believe the…

Related Posts:

Tags:
People Magazine Is SarcasticBy toddApril 19, 2011

[SinglePic not found]

Is “Bombshell” some new kind of burrito? No, then why is Jessica Simpson in People magazine telling me she’s a sex symbol? Because the banner pic and the video below look like a before and after picture in a commercial where a guy tells me that I’ll burn fat and lose inches from my waist or I can return the bottle for a full refund! Real people! Real results! (*)

Double chins and Big Mama’s nightgown are hot:

(*) = These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA. The pretend product Todd is rambling about instead of making an actual joke is not intended to diagnose, treat, or cure any diseases. Especially whatever your sister has. I mean, what is that? Look at that dude. Christ, what is that?!

Is “Bombshell” some new kind of burrito? No, then why is Jessica Simpson in People magazine telling me she’s a sex symbol? Because the banner pic and the video below…

Related Posts:

Tags: