Taylor Swift Has Already Written Five Songs About Harry StylesBy toddJanuary 14, 2013



Two days after the news broke that she was dumped yet again, Taylor Swift tweeted this. If you’re doing the math at home, she wrote a song for every 13 days they were together. Sun reports:

HEARTBROKEN Taylor Swift has already penned FIVE songs about her break-up with Harry Styles — despite the couple only splitting a week ago. The American singer is back in the studio and deciding whether to release more tracks about another failed showbiz relationship. Grammy winner Taylor, 23, has just had a No1 hit called We Are Never, which is rumoured to be about Hollywood actor Jake Gyllenhaal. And the star — who only dated One Direction pin-up Harry, 18, for 66 days — also pulled out her poison pen for US singer John Mayer in song Dear John. A source revealed: “Taylor writes music in the same way that other women chat to their friends on the phone. “It’s been how she deals with her emotions for most of her life. “Harry and Taylor only dated for a short time but there were very strong feelings, so it’s been a tough comedown.” The source added: “Lyrics have been written, but Taylor hasn’t come close to deciding whether she’ll ever release them. A song about it will surface at some point but it won’t be anything like the way she had a dig at her other ex John Mayer in one of her other tracks.”

Taylor Swift has been attached to 13 dudes in 4 years, so is she really looking for love or trying to set a world record in imaginary bridal registries? Stop asking dudes to pick out baby names on the first date. Stop buying a house in their neighborhood on the third. Get a tan. Find out why your eyes look Asian. Chill with the bangs. Stop dating dudes based on whether you can check them out of school. Learn a new kind of song. Maybe think about implants. When a guy shows interest in you, go home and practice your sane face in the mirror the same way you do your “I’m so shocked to win this award” face. Watch more Investigative Discovery. Get a cat. Get two cats. I can’t think of anything else right now, but stay away from dick for a while.

Two days after the news broke that she was dumped yet again, Taylor Swift tweeted this. If you’re doing the math at home, she wrote a song for every 13…

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Olivia Wilde Is Engaged To Jason SudeikisBy toddJanuary 14, 2013



When she was 19, Olivia Wilde married an Italian prince in 2003. They were divorced in September 2011. She started dating Jason Sudeikis in November 2011. They are now engaged. Olivia Wilde is like a Taylor Swift who can close. People reports:

Saturday Night Live funnyman Jason Sudeikis is definitely serious about his relationship with actress Olivia Wilde. The actor proposed to Wilde shortly after the holidays, PEOPLE has learned exclusively. “They are so excited,” says a source close to both. “And very, very happy.” Sudeikis, 37, and Wilde, 28, who has said she fell “blissfully, hopelessly, wildly in love” with the actor, began dating in November of 2011 and moved in together last year.

I really have nothing bad to say about either of them, so I guess I’ll just say congratulations. It’s always nice when someone is married for eight years then gets divorced and immediately marries somebody else. I don’t see any issues there.

When she was 19, Olivia Wilde married an Italian prince in 2003. They were divorced in September 2011. She started dating Jason Sudeikis in November 2011. They are now engaged….

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Scarlett Johansson Is Single AgainBy jessJune 04, 2011

Surprise! E! Online reports:

We went from thinking Scarlett Johansson was preggers with Sean Penn’s baby just two short months ago to this week’s news that couple are already kaput.

Despite their 24-year age difference, we thought these kids could have had a shot at making it last, well at least for another few months or so, what with their shared love of Cuban food, humanitarian work, jogging and snogging in public places.

So after ScarJo had just moved into Sean’s Malibu pad, what went down to make the couple go their separate ways?

Nobody in Camps Penn or Johansson is saying, but we have a few goodies:

The first being that despite Penn’s gruff outward appearance, the guy is actually a family man/mama’s boy at heart (Mother Penn does live less than a mile away) and that some members of the fam urged him to purge the young starlet, who is just a few years older than his children.

We doubt the private Penn clan enjoyed the media frenzy and stalkerazzi that came out of the woodwork when ScarPenn united forces.

And besides, we secretly think (and hope) that Sean still loves ex-Robin Wright, who recently called it quits with her boyfriend, so perhaps she influenced her former hubby to give the new blonde the boot?

(more…)

Surprise! E! Online reports: We went from thinking Scarlett Johansson was preggers with Sean Penn’s baby just two short months ago to this week’s news that couple are already kaput….

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Megan Fox Is Uncomfortable Being A Sex SymbolBy jessJune 03, 2011
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Right. Us Weekly reports:

She’s been called the hottest girl in the world, but according to Shia LaBeouf, Megan Fox wasn’t ready to become a sex symbol when Transformers hit theaters in 2007.

“Megan developed this Spice Girl strength, this woman-empowerment [stuff] that made her feel awkward about her involvement with [director] Michael Bay, who some people think is a very lascivious filmmaker, the way he films women,” LaBeouf, 24, tells The Los Angeles Times.

“Mike films women in a way that appeals to a 16-year-old sexuality. It’s summer. It’s Michael’s style. And I think [Fox] never got comfortable with it,” he explained. “This is a girl who was taken from complete obscurity and placed in a sex-driven role in front of the whole world and told she was the sexiest woman in America. And she had a hard time accepting it.”

Of course Megan Fox is uncomfortable being a sex symbol. That explains this, this, this, this, this, this, and especially this. Her leaving couldn’t possibly have anything to do with this and this.

Right. Us Weekly reports: She’s been called the hottest girl in the world, but according to Shia LaBeouf, Megan Fox wasn’t ready to become a sex symbol when Transformers hit…

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John Edwards Is Indicted, A DouchebagBy jessJune 03, 2011

Former vice-presidential candidate John Edwards was charged with a slew of shit this week. From The Huffington Post:

A federal grand jury indicted two-time presidential candidate John Edwards on Friday over $925,000 spent to keep his mistress and their baby in hiding during the peak of his 2008 campaign for the White House.

The case of USA v. Johnny Reid Edwards contains six counts, including conspiracy, four counts of illegal campaign contributions and one count of false statements.

The indictment said the payments were a scheme to protect Edwards’ White House ambitions. “A centerpiece of Edwards’ candidacy was his public image as a devoted family man,” the indictment said.

“Edwards knew that public revelation of the affair and the pregnancy would destroy his candidacy by, among other things, undermining Edwards’ presentation of himself as a family man and by forcing his campaign to divert personnel and resources away from other campaign activities to respond to criticism and media scrutiny regarding the affair and pregnancy,” the indictment added.

The indictment and an arrest warrant were filed in Greensboro, N.C., which is in the district where his campaign was headquartered.

Negotiations between Edwards’ attorneys and federal prosecutors to settle on a charge to which Edwards was willing to plead guilty continued through Thursday, but proved fruitless, according to people with knowledge of the negotiations. Prosecutors had insisted on a plea to a felony, which would endanger his ability to keep his license to practice law.

A federal grand jury indicted two-time presidential candidate John Edwards on Friday over $925,000 spent to keep his mistress and their baby in hiding during the peak of his 2008 campaign for the White House.

The case of USA v. Johnny Reid Edwards contains six counts, including conspiracy, four counts of illegal campaign contributions and one count of false statements.

The indictment said the payments were a scheme to protect Edwards’ White House ambitions. “A centerpiece of Edwards’ candidacy was his public image as a devoted family man,” the indictment said.

“Edwards knew that public revelation of the affair and the pregnancy would destroy his candidacy by, among other things, undermining Edwards’ presentation of himself as a family man and by forcing his campaign to divert personnel and resources away from other campaign activities to respond to criticism and media scrutiny regarding the affair and pregnancy,” the indictment added.

The indictment and an arrest warrant were filed in Greensboro, N.C., which is in the district where his campaign was headquartered.

Negotiations between Edwards’ attorneys and federal prosecutors to settle on a charge to which Edwards was willing to plead guilty continued through Thursday, but proved fruitless, according to people with knowledge of the negotiations. Prosecutors had insisted on a plea to a felony, which would endanger his ability to keep his license to practice law.

An Edwards spokeswoman said she wasn’t aware of the filing and declined immediate comment.

The indictment is the culmination of a federal investigation that lasted more than two years and scoured through virtually every corner of Edwards’ political career. That included his political action committees, a nonprofit and a so-called 527 independent political group. It even examined whether he did anything improper during his time in the U.S. Senate, which ended seven years ago.

But the centerpiece of the investigation has long been the hundreds of thousands of dollars privately provided by two wealthy Edwards supporters
– his former campaign finance chairman Fred Baron and Rachel “Bunny” Mellon, the 100-year-old widow of banking heir Paul Mellon. That money eventually went to keep mistress Rielle Hunter and her out-of-wedlock baby in hiding in 2007 and 2008, during the apex of the Democratic nomination campaign.

The indictment refers to $725,000 in payments made by Mellon and another $200,000 made by Baron. It said the money was used to pay for Hunter’s living and medical expenses and for chartered airfare, luxury hotels and rental for a house in Santa Barbara, Calif., to keep her hidden from the public.

It accused Edwards of lying when he told the media he never knew about any payments.

Former campaign staffer Andrew Young, who initially claimed paternity of Hunter’s child, has said Edwards was aware of the private financial support that helped keep the mistress satisfied and secluded. Prosecutors believe the private gifts should have been considered campaign contributions since they aided his candidacy.

To summarize: John Edwards allegedly used campaign funds to hide his butterface mistress from not only the public, but also from his dying wife. To be fair, he’s innocent until proven guilty in a court of law, but in the court of public opinion, it’s pretty safe to assume he’s sentenced to the chair. Or to eternal teabagging by Rush Limbaugh.

Former vice-presidential candidate John Edwards was charged with a slew of shit this week. From The Huffington Post: A federal grand jury indicted two-time presidential candidate John Edwards on Friday…

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Diora Baird Is A Great ActressBy toddAugust 18, 2010
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Here’s Diora Baird in the upcoming remake of Night Of The Demons, where she enjoys her Hollywood run as “Girl With Huge Tits” in that one thing and “Topless Chick” in that other one. And it’s all because of these (NSFW). I’m not saying her tits are perfect, but Jesus would have a hard time not prematurely ejaculating to these.

Here’s Diora Baird in the upcoming remake of Night Of The Demons, where she enjoys her Hollywood run as “Girl With Huge Tits” in that one thing and “Topless Chick”…

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Snooki Is SuingBy toddAugust 18, 2010

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Jersey Shore is about drunk idiots who go to bars and clubs to get drunker, so it wasn’t really surprising when Snooki got arrested for being a drunk bitch last month in Seaside Heights. I wonder if she was drunk when she thought of this.

Get ready for a war in Jersey — because TMZ has learned Snooki is launching a full-scale legal offensive over her messy arrest in Seaside Heights last month. Snooki’s lawyer is demanding that prosecutors turn over all of the evidence they plan to use against the “Jersey Shore” star in her disorderly conduct case … and that includes everything from witnesses to lab reports to photos and even video footage.

Ok, here’s the photos and the video is below, but lab reports? Are scientists involved? Wait, is she a Cro-Magnon that was unthawed then shaved? Did she escape her cage and try out for a reality show? Because that would make a lot of sense.

Jersey Shore is about drunk idiots who go to bars and clubs to get drunker, so it wasn’t really surprising when Snooki got arrested for being a drunk bitch last…

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I Deserve To Be Blown FirstBy toddAugust 17, 2010

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There’s a story out today where Kim Kardashian overshares and says she’s completely hairless, but her sister Kourtney is in a bikini. So Kourtney wins. As you look at these, please remember that she just had a baby. She is and will always be the hot one. Especially now since Kim’s face looks like nonstick cookware. Can she even move her face? You could drop hot coals down her shirt and her facial expression would look like she rusted after she got caught in the rain chopping down a tree.

There’s a story out today where Kim Kardashian overshares and says she’s completely hairless, but her sister Kourtney is in a bikini. So Kourtney wins. As you look at these,…

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They’re Raping Errbody In A Galaxy Far, Far AwayBy toddAugust 16, 2010

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Orlando police responded to a call outside a Star Wars convention this weekend, but not because a button on a nerd’s Darth Vader suit dialed 911 instead of his mom by mistake. TMZ reports:

Former “America’s Next Top Model” champ Adrianne Curry called police in Orlando this weekend … claiming an allegedly drunk man reached up her skirt and “molested” her outside of a Star Wars convention. Curry called police around 3:00 AM on Sunday to report the incident that allegedly went down in front of the hotel where the Star Wars expo was going down … but claims it took more than an hour before cops arrived on scene. According to the police report, obtained by TMZ, the officer who arrived at the hotel claims he “came in contact with the male as he lay in the bushes at the entrance to the hotel.” The officer claims he spoke to multiple witnesses — one of which said the suspect “attempted several times to fight several other people as they stood outside waiting to be picked up for the Star Wars convention.” The man was eventually arrested for disorderly intoxication. Curry later Tweeted, “cops are here..molesting pervert drunk in the back of their car…going to bed … i cannot believe last night happened….love starwars…but ready to leave.”

Yeah, so I’m not really sure what Adrianne Curry was expecting here. She’s a model at a Star Wars convention. A place where grown men dress up as make believe people from a non-existent universe then congregate together. The only time these dudes hear “drink specials” or “bottle service” is places where they sell game tokens and Mountain Dew Red. The last time they saw a hot girl is when she was hit with a fire spell on WoW. Adrianne Curry should just be glad that when she walked in they all didn’t change their name to Darth Multiple Miggs.

Orlando police responded to a call outside a Star Wars convention this weekend, but not because a button on a nerd’s Darth Vader suit dialed 911 instead of his mom…

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It’s HereBy toddAugust 16, 2010

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Kelly Brook‘s much anticipated issue of Playboy is out now, and you’ve probably already clicked the banner pic (NSFW) to see her pictures so I’ll just take this time to say that the stripper at the bachelor party I went to on Friday might be able to get money for the college classes that she’s not enrolled in if she didn’t talk about her 1-year old son’s trip to the emergency room for being compacted. You know, just a suggestion.

Kelly Brook‘s much anticipated issue of Playboy is out now, and you’ve probably already clicked the banner pic (NSFW) to see her pictures so I’ll just take this time to…

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