Bristol Palin Has No IronyBy toddJune 29, 2015

Bristol Palin (see here holding a scale model of her vagina), posted yet another blog post, and this time she has a message for all you haters who have shit to say about her being pregnant twice out of wedlock despite preaching abstinence. Fundamentalism breeds a lot of unwanted kids, turns out it doesn’t breed any irony.

This is still how much I care about anything negative … #prolife ❤️ God is good, happy Friday!!

Yes, we know you don’t care about anything negative. Especially pregnancy tests. Anyway, despite saying “I’ve been trying my hardest to keep my chin up on this one” and “I know this has been, and will be, a huge disappointment to my family, to my close friends, and to many of you”, she is now claiming that….wait for it….the pregnancy was PLANNED. Why? Wait for it again.

I made a mistake, but it’s not the mistake all these giddy assholes have loved to assume. This pregnancy was actually planned. Everyone knows I wanted more kids, to have a bigger family.  Believing I was heading that way, I got ahead of myself.

Bitch, shut up. Just shut up. Is the baby a mistake or was it planned? Or was the mistake your fiance finding out before your plan was finished? Please go to grocery a buy a bunch of bananas and a pack of condoms, because I don’t think any of us would feel safe with these two and the rest of your bastards at Castle Black.

Bristol Palin (see here holding a scale model of her vagina), posted yet another blog post, and this time she has a message for all you haters who have shit…

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Kim Kardashian Wore This, LinksBy toddJune 29, 2015

CNN mistook a sex toy flag for an ISIS flag  Dlisted

Selena Gomez is topless, wet  The Superficial

Pretty sure this is Demi Lovato (NSFWTaxi Driver Movie

Jessica Simpson seems cold  DrunkenStepfather

Here’s a video of Shia LaBeouf freestyling   Hollywood Tuna

Alessandra Ambrosio in a bikini, anyone?  The Nip Slip

Jennifer Lawrence has tight jeans  Popoholic

 

CNN mistook a sex toy flag for an ISIS flag  Dlisted Selena Gomez is topless, wet  The Superficial Pretty sure this is Demi Lovato (NSFW)  Taxi Driver Movie Jessica Simpson…

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Donald Trump Is Suing Univison Because They Don’t Like Being Called RapistsBy toddJune 26, 2015

First off, these pictures are from Miss Universe, not Miss USA. Please understand that I don’t care. Cool. That’s out of the way. Now, during his Presidential announcement, trust-fund baby Donald Trump said all Mexicans were thieves and rapists, so not surprisingly, he’s current leading all Republican candidates in the polls. Turns out Univision, who holds the rights to televise the Miss USA pageant, didn’t really care for that, so they told him to go fuck himself, thereby backing out of the five year deal they signed in January. Trump, being Trump, is now suing them:

In an interview with the On Media blog, Trump, a co-owner of the Miss Universe Organization, accused Univision of defaulting on an “iron-clad” five-year, $13.5 million contract that it had no right to terminate. “They have no termination rights whatsoever,” Trump said. “They’ve defaulted on their contract because of pressure put on them by Mexico.”

Look, you know why Miss USA is on Univision? Because Latinos love them some pageants. And if you think Univision can’t get $13.5 out of there petty cash drawer, sorry about it. So to recap, Donald Trump is an old white guy, was handed a job and an inheritance by his rich dad, hates Mexicans, and when he doesn’t get his way, he’ll sue. He’s pretty much the perfect GOP candidate.

First off, these pictures are from Miss Universe, not Miss USA. Please understand that I don’t care. Cool. That’s out of the way. Now, during his Presidential announcement, trust-fund baby…

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Charlotte McKinney Did Men’s HealthBy toddJune 26, 2015

Charlotte McKinney did Men’s Health and these are her boobs in bikini, but the Supreme Court just ruled that same-sex marriage is legal nationwide. They also overturned every single state’s ban, because “states’ rights” usually just means “we fee like we should be able to own slaves and burn gays so…”. Anyway, like I said. Here’s Charlotte McKinney’s boobs. Special shoutout to all the closested gay pastors who can’t sing along with Cece Peniston today because Jesus might get mad.

Charlotte McKinney did Men’s Health and these are her boobs in bikini, but the Supreme Court just ruled that same-sex marriage is legal nationwide. They also overturned every single state’s…

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Bristol Palin Has Two Baby Daddies NowBy toddJune 26, 2015

A month after calling off her engagement, Bristol Palin is now pregnant with her second child because abstinence and Christian values are less effective than condoms. I’m gonna go out on a limb and say God isn’t the father, and it’s fairly obvious that the second dude she was gonna marry isn’t the father (it’s probably Mark Ballas) , because other than being sanctimonious and self-righteous, Bristol Palin’s favorite hobby is raw dog. She announced the “big news” in a blog post last night, but you’re gonna have to squint your eyes really hard to see the whole all life is precious thing.

(I’m announcing this news a lot sooner than I ever expected due to the constant trolls who have nothing better to talk about!!!) I wanted you guys to be the first to know that I am pregnant. Honestly, I’ve been trying my hardest to keep my chin up on this one. At the end of the day there’s nothing I can’t do with God by my side, and I know I am fully capable of handling anything that is put in front of me with dignity and grace. Life moves on no matter what.  So no matter how you feel, you get up, get dressed, show up, and never give up. When life gets tough, there is no other option but to get tougher. I know this has been, and will be, a huge disappointment to my family, to my close friends, and to many of you. But please respect Tripp’s and my privacy during this time. I do not want any lectures and I do not want any sympathy. My little family always has, and always will come first. Tripp, this new baby, and I will all be fine, because God is merciful.

Bristol Palin doesn’t want lectures, but she was paid $30K per appearance to give lectures about the dangers of letting dudes blow inside you before you’re married, so let’s just take a moment to think about that. Okay, that moment has passed. She also seems pretty bummed about being pregnant. That’s sad. Man, if there was only a legal procedure available that she could undergo to cheer her and her family and friends up. Or a place she could go that passes out free condoms or birth control, because like George Carlin said, not every ejaculation deserves a name. Also, it’s good to remember that when she was writing this post attacking Miley Cyrus for pointing out the hypocrisy of Christians, her caps lock didn’t see the irony of writing it while secretly pregnant by a second baby daddy out of wedlock. She’ll call it God’s plan or whatever, but in reality she’s just doing what she wants to do like the rest of us, but gets to wrap herself in the nobility of the victim because she somehow thinks she’s morally superior. I hope she does keep her chin up. That’s probably my best advice to her. Since she won’t buy condoms, having the next guy jack off on her tits might help. And keeping her chin is up is probably the best way to keep it out of her eyes.

A month after calling off her engagement, Bristol Palin is now pregnant with her second child because abstinence and Christian values are less effective than condoms. I’m gonna go out…

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Anastasia Skyline Says Good Morning, LinksBy toddJune 26, 2015

Lady Gaga‘s tits fell out while she was getting pizza takeout (NSFWTaxi Driver Movie

OMG quirky Jennifer Lawrence is so quirky!  Dlisted

Kim and Kylie had a see through titty battle  The Superficial

Emmy Rossum cameltoe anyone?  The Nip Slip

Courtney Stodden finally wore this   Hollywood Tuna

Julianna Hough‘s butt tho  Popoholic

Bella Thorne has a super weird fetish DrunkenStepfather

I regret not going to this movie premiere Moe Jackson

I 100% agree The Frisky

 

Lady Gaga‘s tits fell out while she was getting pizza takeout (NSFW)  Taxi Driver Movie OMG quirky Jennifer Lawrence is so quirky!  Dlisted Kim and Kylie had a see through…

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Rose McGowan Got Fired By Her Agent Because Of Adam SandlerBy toddJune 25, 2015

 Last week, Rose McGowan posted a casting note she received for the upcoming Adam Sandler project.  The note was really wordy and could have saved time by just saying, “let us see dem titties”. Yesterday, she got fired by her agent. We could talk about how fucked up Hollywood is, but the gallery I used for this post is Rose McGowan at the 1998 MTV Video Music Awards (NSFW). You’ll probably barely even notice Marilyn Manson. 

 

 Last week, Rose McGowan posted a casting note she received for the upcoming Adam Sandler project.  The note was really wordy and could have saved time by just saying, “let…

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