Melissa Theuriau is FriendlyBy toddMarch 02, 2009

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French journalist and news anchor, Melissa Theuriau, was in Miami with her husband, French actor/comedian, Jamel Debbouze, when she decided to give him a blowjob and roll all over him like he was on fire. At least I think she’s giving him a blowjob. It’s possible a snake could have jumped out of the pool and bit his penis. Then Melissa gently laid him back on his chair and sucked the poison out with her ass in the air. Yeah, that sounds like a reasonable explanation for these pictures.

NSFW Topless Update: Click here. You know, if you like boobs. You like boobs, right?

French journalist and news anchor, Melissa Theuriau, was in Miami with her husband, French actor/comedian, Jamel Debbouze, when she decided to give him a blowjob and roll all over him…

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Amanda Bynes is DrunkBy toddMarch 02, 2009

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Amanda Bynes left a club in LA Saturday night, and based on these pictures, we have a lot in common. We have the same phone and ….uh, well that’s about it. But she has kick ass legs. And as it turns out, I like chicks with kick ass legs to wrap them around my neck so I can wear the chick like a bib. Wait, should I put that on my eHarmony profile? I think I should. I need something to make the ladies feel comfortable. Because apparently my job as “Sith apprentice” makes women think I’m too dangerous.

Amanda Bynes left a club in LA Saturday night, and based on these pictures, we have a lot in common. We have the same phone and ….uh, well that’s about…

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Lindsay Lohan is Almost JewishBy toddMarch 01, 2009

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Mel Gibson is so not gonna like this. The Mirror says:

LiLo visited a London synagogue with her DJ girlfriend on Friday. And then she returned to the same place of worship in South Kensington for more yesterday – as Samantha’s official date for the bar mitzvah of her half-brother Joshua Ronson. And Lindsay showed she’s really becoming part of the family by joining in with the post-bar mitzvah lunch in London’s Mandarin Oriental hotel. Lindsay has even made her decision “official” – by updating her Facebook profile to say “I’m converting”. That’s commitment. LiLo and Sam walked into the synagogue arm-in-arm for their first visit on Friday. When an onlooker asked the Hollywood starlet if she was converting, Lindsay revealed: “I’m trying.” The recovering alcoholic, who was brought up Catholic, now faces lessons in the Jewish faith before an official conversion can take place. But it helps that she’s staying at singer Bryan Adams’ house while she’s in London putting the finishing touches to her new album. As well as being close to one of Lindsay’s regular London nightclub hangouts, Boujis, Bry’s place is just a stone’s throw from the synagogue.

Yeah, it’s always good to pick a religion because it’s close to the bar you like. But what other criteria was Lindsay gonna have? It’s not like the cathedral or the mosque down the street were putting flyers on her door for a free dildo giveaway.

Lindsay at the Mandarin Oriental Hotel in London:

Picture credit: Splash

Mel Gibson is so not gonna like this. The Mirror says: LiLo visited a London synagogue with her DJ girlfriend on Friday. And then she returned to the same place…

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Rihanna Took Him BackBy toddMarch 01, 2009

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In this jaded world, we sometimes feel that true love doesn’t exist. But look no further friends. Almost three weeks after he did this to her, Rihanna is back together with Chris Brown. Awww, how sweet! This is just like The Notebook except with way more police involvement. Congratulations to the happy couple! People reports:

“They’re together again. They care for each other,” says the source. The on-again couple are currently spending time together at one of Sean “Diddy” Combs’s homes, on Miami Beach’s Star Island. Adds the source: “While Chris is reflective and saddened about what happened, he is really happy to be with the woman he loves.” In its latest issue, PEOPLE reports that Brown called Rihanna on her 21st birthday one week ago. “He called to wish her happy birthday,” a source told the magazine. “They’ve reached out to each other. It’s been mutual.”

I’m never going to understand why a woman would willingly go back to a man who beats her, but whatever. You can pretty much count on Rihanna being in traction soon. Fortunately, all this could be avoided if Chris Brown maintained calm assertive energy as I teach in my new DVD, Clitoris Whisperer. Brimming with invaluable ideas, techniques, and essential tips, why not have the relationship you’ve always wanted? Call today!!

Note: Speaking of O.J. (thanks, #4) I literally had to cut off half of Rihanna’s head for that banner picture.

Diddy’s house on Star Island:

Picture credit: Splash

In this jaded world, we sometimes feel that true love doesn’t exist. But look no further friends. Almost three weeks after he did this to her, Rihanna is back together…

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Tila Tequila is PredictableBy toddFebruary 27, 2009

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I think Tila Tequila’s grandfather pulled John McCain out of that plane, so I’m pretty sure she comes from a place where big boobs are a myth. So she came to America to fulfill her life long dream of being a sorta famous slut because nobody told her she looks like should be starring in Pixar’s Miss Saigon. I appreciate the fact that she’s not wearing a bra, but she could have tentacles or unicorn horns sticking out of her chest and it would look more natural than this.

I think Tila Tequila’s grandfather pulled John McCain out of that plane, so I’m pretty sure she comes from a place where big boobs are a myth. So she came…

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