Whore: The Next GenerationBy toddJanuary 05, 2010

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Lindsay Lohan will be dead soon, because it’s only matter of time before they find her wrapped in a tarp in that landfill because she tried to pay for blow with Yu-Gi-Oh! cards or a piece of green construction paper that she wrote “COKE MONEY” on, so luckily for us her sister Ali is ready to step in immediately. Not so luckily for us, on the other hand, is that she looks like pieces of dead homeless jr. high girls that a scientist stitched together to make a Lindsay. And one of those jr. high girls should have went bigger on the implants. Who knows, maybe that’s why she died. Chicks with small tits are known thieves and prone to other criminal acts.

Lindsay Lohan will be dead soon, because it’s only matter of time before they find her wrapped in a tarp in that landfill because she tried to pay for blow…

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IDLYITW’s Top 10 Posts Of 2009By toddJanuary 04, 2010

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Not to be confused with the top stories of 2009, here are the Top 10 IDLYITW Posts of 2009 according to your votes. Yeah so, wow, I’m kind of a jackass.

10. David Carradine Probably Didn’t Hang Himself (June 5, 2009)
What happens in Thailand, really stays in Thailand.

9. How Romantic (January 21, 2009)
I’m so edgy with my political satire!

8. Chastity Bono Is Dumb (November 19, 2009)
The LBGT community still might have a contract out on my head for this one. Probably at Paul Mitchell. Their pure and natural ingredients are tested by hairdressers, never on animals!

7. John Travolta Finally Admits His Son Was Austic (September 24, 2009)
What? No I’m not crying! I just have something in my eye! Can’t you just leave me alone?!

6. Shut Up (December 1, 2009)
He’s here and he’s really, really fuckin queer.

5. Dear God (October 23, 2009)
Looking at these pictures can give you an erection for up to 36 hours. For when the time is right.

4. Roman Polanksi Is Mad (September 29, 2009)
I had a few Red Bulls that morning. Sorry about that.

3. Jessica Simpson Is A Damn Idiot (September 16, 2009)
If a coyote takes your dog away in his mouth, there’s a good chance he won’t be contacting you with the terms of it’s release.

2. Jennifer Aniston Is Adopting (April 29, 2009)
Brad.

1. Michael Jackson Died (June 25, 2009)
This received the most votes by far and it got me the most death threats. I don’t know whether to be honored or lock myself in the attic.

Not to be confused with the top stories of 2009, here are the Top 10 IDLYITW Posts of 2009 according to your votes. Yeah so, wow, I’m kind of a…

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Hayden Panettiere Has ChangedBy toddJanuary 04, 2010
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Hayden Panettiere is apparently dating heavyweight boxer Wladimir Klitschko, and he’s obviously punched her in the chest a few times, because where did those tits come from? And why is he dating her, it can’t be for sex can it? He’s 6’6″ and she’s not tall enough to ride the teacups at the fair. He might as well be fucking a koala.

My penis’s reaction to these can only be fully recreated by this:

Hayden Panettiere is apparently dating heavyweight boxer Wladimir Klitschko, and he’s obviously punched her in the chest a few times, because where did those tits come from? And why is…

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Kim Kardashian Does One Thing WellBy toddDecember 31, 2009

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George Romero could make a movie about how much of a dead lay she was in her sex tape, but Kim Kardashian can’t go to any function without subtlety knowing what she’s based her entire image on. So for me to get turned on here it would probably take somebody riding a stationary bike hooked up to a car battery.

George Romero could make a movie about how much of a dead lay she was in her sex tape, but Kim Kardashian can’t go to any function without subtlety knowing…

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