Apparently you had to look at Christina Hendricks twice today for a period of time. Not sure what that was about. But the leading theory from my boss is that I'm a moron. He makes some very valid points. He's pretty smart and has great hair. He also surfs I think. Did I mention he has great hair? It's pretty great. They had to stop a meeting once because everybody was complimenting it and nobody could remember the action items from the webinar. So to make up for Double Hendricks, here's Ashley Benson at the 2013 Teen Choice Awards. She could probably also attend the Male 18-100 Choice Awards and still win something. Because people find her very attractive.
If you squint really hard, you can tell that floating red dress is Christina Hendricks walking to some private house party this weekend. Huge boobs aside, she's just a fat, pale mess who dyes her hair red. Probably some dude got an erection while seeing this, but I'm pretty sure at least one person called SyFy to report a ghost sighting.
So yeah, here's Miley Cyrus at the 2013 Teen Choice awards. Like Justin Bieber and every white rapper, Miley's blackface is more subtle that it was 100 years ago and is more inferred. But if CNN said today that we're lynching black people again, Justin Bieber and Riff Raff would be wearing American flag polo shirts and bolo ties when they announced their Freedon Tour with Toby Keith and Lee Greenwood, and Miley would release an album of Amy Grant covers before you finished reading this. In the meantime, it's just Miley being what her record label's image consultants says Miley should be. Enjoy!
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Putting a woman in the hospital after you beat her and threaten to kill her while choking her out, may lead people to believe that you might need to enroll in anger management classes. If that woman is Rihanna, some may think that she might need to go with you. New York Daily News reports:
According to a source, Brown opted for anger management at the behest of his spin doctor, Michael Sitrick. “Chris doesn’t actually have to go by law,” our insider tells us, “but he believes it will make him look better to the public, and he wants to try to get in a few classes before March 5,” his court date….But insiders are rumbling that Chris shouldn’t be taking the anger management classes alone. “Rihanna is temperamental, too,” says our snitch. “They’re both too hot-headed for their own good.” Adds another source: “It didn’t help that Rihanna grabbed the keys out of his rented Lamborghini and threw them down the street. She knew it would really infuriate Chris, and it worked.”
Whatever. If they want to beat on each other, at least do it Gladiator style with chariots and tigers or something. I know that may sound a little extreme, but we have to get them off the radio somehow. I wish I could do more, but the police confiscated all my poison darts after my little misunderstanding with Miranda Kerr last year. I still don’t know why she got all bent out of shape, I was just going to put her to sleep for a while.