KONG TAKE DIETS PILLS THEY NOT WORK RED DRESS!!!By toddJuly 01, 2011

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Does Khloe Kardashian wear Spanx? Of course she does. Don’t be silly. Daily Mail reports:

But Khloe Kardashian accidentally let the cat out of the bag when she revealed her Spanx underwear yesterday. The reality star wore the flesh-coloured slip beneath a bright red dress, but the frock’s asymmetrical hemline rode up at one point, putting the unattractive undergarment on display.

In her defense, I guess it would be hard trying to look like a female when you look like you’re only walking the earth because scientists extracted DNA from insects preserved in prehistoric amber. I bet she has to burn herself with a car cigarette lighter or stab herself with her keys to suppress her natural instincts when she sees anything containing bamboo. Mmmm, bamboo. Khloe want taste. Why you no let Khloe taste?

Does Khloe Kardashian wear Spanx? Of course she does. Don’t be silly. Daily Mail reports: But Khloe Kardashian accidentally let the cat out of the bag when she revealed her…

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Ooh La LaBy toddMay 03, 2010

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I have been proud of a lot of things in my life, one of those being the fact that I have never seen one single episode of The Jersey Shore. The other being my G.I. Joe collection, but more to the point, would anybody seriously fuck this Snooki chick if it wasn’t for some type hostage negotiation? Even if it was, I’d let them use my anytime minutes to say goodbye to their families, because the only way I could get hard looking at this is if she had snakes for hair. Christ, this skank is gross. She looks like something Brad and Angelina would bring back from Oz.

I have been proud of a lot of things in my life, one of those being the fact that I have never seen one single episode of The Jersey Shore….

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Adrianne Curry Demands A RecountBy toddMay 03, 2010

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Diora Baird is the clear Twitter winner, but Adrianne Curry thinks posing in her underwear while she’s playing some kind of online game will help. It doesn’t. Look, I’m glad your Warlock reached Level 42 with a Hell Coil spell or whatever, but it’s gonna be hard for me to cum in your eye if you’re talking Quidditch strategy while you’re blowing me.

Diora Baird is the clear Twitter winner, but Adrianne Curry thinks posing in her underwear while she’s playing some kind of online game will help. It doesn’t. Look, I’m glad…

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Jennifer Love Hewitt Milks Her Breakfast At Tiffany’sBy daveFebruary 22, 2009
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Jennifer Love Hewitt put on her best Holly Golightly for her 30th Birthday, followed by an actual Breakfast at Tiffany’s, which is a great “fantasy” birthday for sure, but has internet gossip folks split. Some are like: “She lookz hot, good look for JLH,” and others are like: “She thinks she’s so f-ing cool dressing up and parading around like this just to get her picture taken and sell herself, when will she grow up?”

I fall in the first category, quietly holding my tongue against pearl necklace jokes, but I’d still strip that dress off her and whisper to her ghosts (read: fornicate).

Jennifer Love Hewitt put on her best Holly Golightly for her 30th Birthday, followed by an actual Breakfast at Tiffany’s, which is a great “fantasy” birthday for sure, but has…

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The Cruises Go To DisneyworldBy daveFebruary 21, 2009
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There’s something creepy about Tom Cruise taking an upskirt shot of his robot daughter at Disneyworld while onlookers, both real and fictional, watch.

Disneyworld Exec: Of course, Mr. Cruise, we can accommodate you.

Tom: Excellent. I want all the characters on a lawn so I can take some pictures, and I want to skip the line for every ride.

Disneyworld Exec: Of course.

Tom: And I want you to pull all the Pinocchio characters. The last thing I need is Suri wanting to be a real boy.

Disneyworld Exec:
Disney has a very strong policy against sexual confusion in youth.

Tom: I was more worried about the “real” part. I have to go power up Katie.

(Tom Cruise teleports)

There’s something creepy about Tom Cruise taking an upskirt shot of his robot daughter at Disneyworld while onlookers, both real and fictional, watch. Disneyworld Exec: Of course, Mr. Cruise, we…

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I Can Haz Euthanasia?By daveFebruary 21, 2009

Attention: Socks the cat has been put to sleep.

Former First Cat Socks, one of the world’s most famous felines, died Friday at the age of 20 after battling throat cancer since November. A stray cat rescued by the Clinton’s daughter, Chelsea, Socks lived in the governor’s mansion in Arkansas and later moved with the family to the White House.

Throat cancer? Was the cat smoking the vag-cigars that were hanging around the White House?

The cat was staying at a family friend’s house and eventually had to be put down and buried, then they put him down again after his surprise resurrection, which had more to do with the whole 9 Lives thing than ZOMBIE CATS! (sadly).

Finally, they clubbed him over the head a few times, cremated him and (more…)

Attention: Socks the cat has been put to sleep. Former First Cat Socks, one of the world’s most famous felines, died Friday at the age of 20 after battling throat…

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Natalie Imbruglia is a LadyBy toddFebruary 20, 2009
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I thought Natalie Imbruglia was dead, but turns out she was at the 2009 Brit Awards this week where she enjoyed wearing see through panties. She didn't win any awards, but I think she takes comfort in knowing that the real winners here are us.

Careful. One of these pictures is doing it's own thing (NSFW):

I thought Natalie Imbruglia was dead, but turns out she was at the 2009 Brit Awards this week where she enjoyed wearing see through panties. She didn't win any awards,…

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Danica Patrick is RightBy toddFebruary 20, 2009

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Although she’s finished no better than 6th in the IRL IndyCar Series, Danica Patrick has tons of endorsements and is one of the most recognizable faces in all of racing. Since Hollywood loves that kind of crap, of course a movie will someday be made about her life. So, who does Danica want to play her on the big screen? (Here’s a hint: Not Jennifer Aniston) US Magazine reports:

“I’ve always said Angelina Jolie would be great because she’s an action star,” Patrick, 26, told a group of Canadian bloggers. “Although I don’t quite look like her,” Patrick goes on. What about Jennifer Aniston? “I don’t think that’d be age appropriate,” she says of the He’s Just Not That Into You star, who just celebrated her 40th birthday. “She’s older than me!”

Danica is 26 and Angelina Jolie is 33, but Angelina could be 50 and it probably still wouldn’t matter. That’s because Angelina Jolie is a billion times better than Jennifer Aniston in every possible way. I really don’t think I can stress that enough. The only way Jennifer Aniston could win at this point is if journalists find out that she was sent to Earth by her scientist father just before her home planet of Krypton was destroyed.

I want to see this movie:

Although she’s finished no better than 6th in the IRL IndyCar Series, Danica Patrick has tons of endorsements and is one of the most recognizable faces in all of racing….

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Links From The OtterazziBy daveFebruary 20, 2009

Cameras are everywhere these days, operated by anyone. Even this otter.

I’m glad Kylie Minogue wears panties. No one would want to see these upskirts otherwise. She looks good and all, but she’s still getting old. Site NSFW. [TaxiDriverMovie]

Nooooooooo! Kate Winslet says no more nude scenes. [FatBackMedia]

Olivia Munn wants you to visit her website. We want more pictures. Site NSFW [DrunkenStepfather]

Maggie Grace can’t dress herself. She’s lost that right. [LaineyGossip]

Nipple slips of the Oscars, in hopes of good slips this year. [CityRag]

Tell Charlie Sheen he will take off that damn hat or I will take it off for him. [I’mNotObsessed]

Cameras are everywhere these days, operated by anyone. Even this otter. I’m glad Kylie Minogue wears panties. No one would want to see these upskirts otherwise. She looks good and…

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Settle Down, GrannyBy toddFebruary 19, 2009

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Pamela Anderson modeled for the Richie Rich show during Fashion Week, and I haven’t see their profit graph yet, but I bet it’s almost reached space by now. It has to be, because nothing makes me want to buy a bedazzled one piece more than a delusional middle-aged chick with Hep C. Jesus, nobody wants to see this. It’s embarrassing. Pamela Anderson used to be one of the hottest POA on earth, now she looks like something the government has under quarantine. If she wants to be in a fashion show so bad, I wish she’d just do it when she comes to life after the museum closes. I think I speak for everyone when I say that would probably be ideal.

Pamela Anderson modeled for the Richie Rich show during Fashion Week, and I haven’t see their profit graph yet, but I bet it’s almost reached space by now. It has…

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