Jennifer Lawrence Shits Her Pants A LotBy toddNovember 21, 2013

 

HAHA OMG JENNIFER LAWRENCE IS SO FUNNY, YOU GUYS! SHE DOESN'T TRY WAY TOO HARD TO BE QUIRKY AND LIKEABLE AT ALL! LIKE THIS VIDEO WHERE SHE GOES ON LETTERMAN TO TELL A STORY ABOUT REAPTEDLY SHITTING HERSELF! LIKE, DEAL WITH IT! SHE HAS LESBIAN POWER HAIR, CELLULITE, AND CRAPS HERSELF! WHERE DO I LINE UP TO BE HER BFF AND MAYBE HIT THAT?!

 

Note: She probaly should have kept that a thought. Because, yeah, that's gross. Especially when you realize her ass looks like this. I can't be the only one with a massive erection right now, can I?

  HAHA OMG JENNIFER LAWRENCE IS SO FUNNY, YOU GUYS! SHE DOESN'T TRY WAY TOO HARD TO BE QUIRKY AND LIKEABLE AT ALL! LIKE THIS VIDEO WHERE SHE GOES ON…

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Justin Bieber Could Be Getting DeportedBy toddAugust 16, 2013
Justin Bieber Could Be Getting Deported

 

Although he's a punk who wears hoodies and causes trouble everywhere he goes, Justin Bieber hasn't been shot yet because he's white and rich and has bodyguards who stand their ground for him so his bitch ass doesn't have to finish every fight he starts. Then they give him a bottle of formula and a plush toy because that's what you do with toddlers who have tantrums. Maybe one day they'll give him some Benadryl. But apparently his last tantrum in the Hamptons caused his bodyguards to beat the hell out of somebody and now the police are investigating, and if he's found guilty of assault, he could be deported back to syrup land. The Mirror reports:

Cops have confirmed they are investigating the situation which occurred at approximately 4am last Saturday night. The incident unfolded in Southampton club South Pointe as his security team are accused of being “heavy handed” and “intimidating” to other party-goers. Law enforcement were NOT called to the scene but a police spokesperson told E! News an unidentified male victim received medical treatment in a nearby hospital and filed a complaint.“If Justin is convicted of assault or battery, he could be refused admission to the United States or be placed into removal proceedings from the United States," explains immigration attorney Richard Yemm to US magazine Star. Sources told Star magazine how his bodyguards “take the heat and go after people he has a problem with, he thinks he’s invincible”. They quote an insider who says Justin reckons there would be “a cold day in hell before he’d actually be charged with anything”. Famous last words?

Instead of deporting him, they should let him start some shit in a bar without his bodyguards, and if he wins he can stay. Scratch that. If he gets in one punch, he can stay and they can tear down the Lincoln Memorial and build one for him. That seems fair.

 

Pic source = Instagram

  Although he's a punk who wears hoodies and causes trouble everywhere he goes, Justin Bieber hasn't been shot yet because he's white and rich and has bodyguards who stand…

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Lookin’ Good, Britney!By toddAugust 16, 2013

Hey, remember in 2003 when you would have tortured and slaughtered a member of your immediate family to have Britney Spears' ass in your lap? You do? Good. Well, it's 2013 now and she looks like something you'd try to kill with fire in The Conjuring II. There's no way her boyfriend's penis isn't getting treated for PTSD.

Hey, remember in 2003 when you would have tortured and slaughtered a member of your immediate family to have Britney Spears' ass in your lap? You do? Good. Well, it's…

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The Sister From ‘That 70s Show’ DiedBy toddAugust 15, 2013
The Sister From ‘That 70s Show’ Died

 

Lisa Robin Kelly, who played Eric Foreman's dumb and slutty sister on That 70s Show, died in her sleep last night. Good for her for winning the Death Lottery. TMZ reports:

The 43-year-old actress passed away in her sleep Wednesday night at a rehab facility in California…Sources connected with the attempted rescue tell TMZ … when emergency responders arrived at the rehab facility, they found needle marks on both of Lisa's arms.  However, her BF tells us the reason for the needle marks is that he took Lisa to a hospital on Sunday — because she had a .34 blood alcohol level … and nurses made multiple attempts to insert a needle into her vein to extract blood.  After several attempts, medical personnel were able to use a vein on the top of Lisa's wrist.

From Mila Kunis banging Ashton Kutcher, to Laura Prepon being kicked off Orange Is The New Black, to Lisa Robin Kelly dying of an overdose, the entire cast of That 70s Show appears to be cursed. What's next? Topher Grace starring in a new Whitney Cummings show? Somebody should probably tell Wilmer Valderrama that Disney chick he's probably banging right now is actually 13.

  Lisa Robin Kelly, who played Eric Foreman's dumb and slutty sister on That 70s Show, died in her sleep last night. Good for her for winning the Death Lottery….
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This Is Charisma Carpenter. She’s 43By toddAugust 15, 2013

Hey, remember the hot chick in Buffy The Vampire Slayer and other things I don't know? Yeah, so her name is Charisma Carpenter and she's 43 and she looks like this in a bikini. I'm sorry you're 25 and don't. Do you need to talk to somebody about it? Maybe your friends at Krispy Kreme can help you figure it all out.

 

 

Hey, remember the hot chick in Buffy The Vampire Slayer and other things I don't know? Yeah, so her name is Charisma Carpenter and she's 43 and she looks like…

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Sydney Leathers Made An Appearance At A Strip Club, 10 People Showed UpBy toddAugust 15, 2013

Still no word from feminists about how opportunistic vaginas like Farrah Abraham and Sydney Leathers can reap untold fortunes just by being passably ok to look at while spreading your legs, so until then, here's a story about Sydney Leathers again trying to cash in over the fact that she sent some texts to a married politician then got pissed when he called it off. This time she made a scheduled "appearance" at a Jersey strip club then refused to get naked. Because she's a respectabe businesswoman now, you see. Page Six reports:

“There were no patrons in the club for the entire two hours she was there,” her rep told us, adding the somewhat weak explanation: “They booked it three days before and did no advertising.” Leathers’ rep added, “The club was very rundown and empty . . . Sydney is just happy she made $5,000 and is done with them.” The club — which says there were 10 patrons — is laying the blame on Leathers, adding that she refused to dance on stage or on laps and, to the shock of all, even declined to pose for photos with a Weiner look-alike and a hot-dog cart. “We tried our best to accommodate them, but it was like talking to a brick wall,” an HQ rep tells us of Leathers and her team. “They put her on some kind of pedestal . . . They literally wanted to charge people $20 just to take a picture with her.”

So to recap, a hideous looking ho whose obituary will include the words "sexting partner", went to a scheduled apperance at a strip club where she was an entitled bitch to everyone because seeing her name on the Internet and in newspapers makes her believe she's somehow important now and that people should be lining the streets just have the honor to pay her $20 to be in the same picture as the woman who sent tit pics to a married dude. My god. When will this war on women ever end?

Still no word from feminists about how opportunistic vaginas like Farrah Abraham and Sydney Leathers can reap untold fortunes just by being passably ok to look at while spreading your…

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Taylor Swift Is Still Doing The Tight Shorts/No Ass ThingBy toddAugust 15, 2013

Despite having the ass of a Jewish grandpa in a nursing home, Taylor Swift still insists these tight, high-waisted abominations and dick repellent leather shorts. Instead of writing songs, maybe she should start eating her feelings so guys don't mistake her ass for a chalkboard. If I had some chalk, I'd draw a diagram of how to do a proper squat with a bunch of arrows pointing to it. Maybe some hearts and butterflies too, becasue she likes those.

Despite having the ass of a Jewish grandpa in a nursing home, Taylor Swift still insists these tight, high-waisted abominations and dick repellent leather shorts. Instead of writing songs, maybe…

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Sophie Turner Has Two Butts NowBy toddAugust 15, 2013
Sophie Turner Has Two Butts Now

 

Not content anymore to post just one picture of her ass on Instagram, Sophie Turner is now posting TWO pictures of her ass at the same time. Some people may think that's dumb, but I think it's pretty practical. I look at the first one,  then take a 10-15 minute break, then look at the next one without even having to move my mouse! Oh, man that Sophie. Always thinking about others!

 

Source = Instagram

  Not content anymore to post just one picture of her ass on Instagram, Sophie Turner is now posting TWO pictures of her ass at the same time. Some people…

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Julianne Hough Went To The Gym Again, LinksBy toddAugust 15, 2013

This Happened [Fishwrapper]

Big Brother UK's Axl Sallie Topless (NSFW site) [Taxi Driver Movie]

This Is What Happens When Miley Cyrus Poses For Terry Richardson [The Superficial]

Heather Graham Definitely Still Has It [Popoholic]

Ahna O’Reilly Is A Hottie You Should Know [Hollywood Tuna]

Dominic Monaghan Calls A Girl A Herpes Ridden Dumb Dumb After She Wouldn’t Do Him [Dlisted]

Get Revenge [MyEx]

Russia has the best speed limit signs (NSFW site) [Drunken Stepfather]

Halle Berry & Jennifer Garner vs the paparazzi [Lainey Gossip]

Stephenie Meyer is sick of ‘Twilight’ [Celebitchy]

Lily Aldridge Does A Bikini Shoot in St. Barts [Moe Jackson]

Bruce Willis is “bored” of shooting action movies [Film Drunk]

Oh hi Sofia Vergara [Celebslam]

The Most Diehard Collegiate Sports Superfan Haircuts [COED Magazine]

Pete Doherty Is Doing Great [The Blemish]

Nicole Kidman Was “Honored” to Play Grace Kelly [Evil Beet Gossip]

Did Warner Bros. Offer Christian Bale $60M to Play Batman Again? [Crave Online]

Taylor Swift hates Justin Bieber [Popbytes]

This Happened [Fishwrapper] Big Brother UK's Axl Sallie Topless (NSFW site) [Taxi Driver Movie] This Is What Happens When Miley Cyrus Poses For Terry Richardson [The Superficial] Heather Graham Definitely…

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Carrie Keagan Was At The BeachBy toddAugust 14, 2013

Look, I'm not even going to pretend that I know who Carrie Keagan is, but I do know what huge boobs and dat ass is. And since this Carrie Keagan person has both of these and decided to have a photoshoot at the beach, I'll post the pictures. I also tried licking the pictures, but that's really neither here nor there. Whatever, you don't know me. Only God can judge me.

Look, I'm not even going to pretend that I know who Carrie Keagan is, but I do know what huge boobs and dat ass is. And since this Carrie Keagan…
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