Izabel Goulart Did The Venice Film FestivalBy toddAugust 31, 2017
Izabel Goulart Did The Venice Film Festival

 

Full disclosure: when I saw the thumbnails this for these pics, I thought this was Eiza Gonzales and immediately started downloading them by reflex. These pictures are not Eiza Gonzales, they are pictures of Izabel Goulart. After typing those letters in sequence into Google, I found that she’s a Brazilian model who used to be a Victoria’s Secret model and she was also in Baywatch. That doesn’t seem like a Venice Film Festival type movie. I guess a dude whose family is really rich invited her. Shout out to him.

 

  Full disclosure: when I saw the thumbnails this for these pics, I thought this was Eiza Gonzales and immediately started downloading them by reflex. These pictures are not Eiza…

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Mark Hamill Is Old Man Skywalker NowBy toddAugust 31, 2017
Mark Hamill Is Old Man Skywalker Now

 

Mark Hamill shared a new picture of Star Wars: The Last Jedi‘s Luke Skywalker from a Hungarian magazine of all places, and oh man, it’s super dark! Everything you once loved has to be super dark and edgy now. Superman, Luke Skywalker, Twitter. Everything. Everything has to be dark and miserable. His lightsaber probably shoots out a Nietzsche ebook.

 

  Mark Hamill shared a new picture of Star Wars: The Last Jedi‘s Luke Skywalker from a Hungarian magazine of all places, and oh man, it’s super dark! Everything you…

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Joel Osteen Said He Just Was Waiting To Be Asked To Shelter Hurricane Harvey VicitmsBy toddAugust 30, 2017
Joel Osteen Said He Just Was Waiting To Be Asked To Shelter Hurricane Harvey Vicitms

 

Joel Osteen, seen here waiting to yell at Smithers, appeared on Today to defend his decision to delay sheltering the Houston victims of Hurricane Harvey. Just turns out nobody asked him! Totally understand, bro.

“[The city] didn’t need us as shelter then,” Osteen said. “We coordinate with them all the time. If we needed to be a shelter, we certainly would’ve been a shelter right when they first asked.” He added, “We work very closely with the city. Four miles down the road, the city established its biggest shelter with rooms for thousands. With beds, kitchen supplies — everything they need. Security. … Once they filled up, never dreaming we’d have this many displaced people, they asked us to become a shelter. And we said, ‘Hey, we’d love to be a shelter. That’s what Lakewood is all about.’ ”

I appreciate how Joel Osteen just destroyed the entire concept of Libertarianism in a 5 minute video. Good work. I also appreciate how people on Twitter believe they made this happen. I assume people who give Osteen money every month are still gonna give him money every month, and if he surrounded Lakewood Church with the Lannister Army and killed displaced victims wandering in the parking lot, he’ll still need UPS truck to bring him all his checks. You guys keep fucking around on Twitter and Joel is gonna bring out his ice dragon.

 

  Joel Osteen, seen here waiting to yell at Smithers, appeared on Today to defend his decision to delay sheltering the Houston victims of Hurricane Harvey. Just turns out nobody…
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Taylor Swift Wants You To Know Why She’s Been Hiding Or WhateverBy toddAugust 30, 2017
Taylor Swift Wants You To Know Why She’s Been Hiding Or Whatever

 

It seems like only 6 months ago that Taylor Swift would call the paparazzi to take pictures of her walking out of her apartment in her OOTD or posting something on Instagram with a group of white women. A “source” tells People why we haven’t seen this lately and have been forced to live in darkness and existential dread awaiting the return of the savior of girls who are at Target right now.

Between a messy breakup with ex-boyfriend Calvin Harris, a subsequent high-profile fling with Tom Hiddleston and a very public feud with the Wests, “she felt like her personal life was spinning out of control,” a source close to the star, 27, tells PEOPLE exclusively. “It was draining her and she needed to disappear to reinvent herself. It was time to change things up and take another approach.”

Man, this source seems really concerned about Tay-

Taylor is very talented and wants the focus to be on her music,” says the source of the entertainer, who’s been quietly dating actor Joe Alwyn, 26, since late last fall. “She is a master at reinventing herself.”

Oh. The source is her PR team. Or somebody in her squad who just cashed a from Taylor Swift’s PR Team LLC. We probably should have expected that. I’m digging the CGI boobs in the video though. Good stuff.

  It seems like only 6 months ago that Taylor Swift would call the paparazzi to take pictures of her walking out of her apartment in her OOTD or posting…

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Sandra Bullock Donated $1M To Help The Hurricane Harvey ReliefBy toddAugust 30, 2017
Sandra Bullock Donated $1M To Help The Hurricane Harvey Relief

 

While most of us are content to sit back and wait for the likes to pour in after we use a natural disaster as the framing device for every smug political hot take imaginable, Sandra Bullock poured some money into the Hurricane Harvey problem.

“This is an incredible gift. We’re so thankful. It’s times like this when we do receive such an incredible amount of support. Especially during times of disaster, people see what’s happening in Texas and our hearts all go out to them,” Elizabeth Penniman, Vice President of Communications for American Red Cross national headquarters, tells PEOPLE. “Having someone like Sandra Bullock make this kind of commitment, it helps bring people together and open their hearts and be even more generous.”….“There are no politics in eight feet of water,” says the star. “There are human beings in eight feet of water.”

Yeah. I’m not gonna be that liberal asshole who tells people trying to tread water in their house how they should have voted (you learned the most important societal lesson of all, Sociology Professor Kenneth) , I’ll just like Joel Osteen memes and donate money then go about my day.

 

  While most of us are content to sit back and wait for the likes to pour in after we use a natural disaster as the framing device for every…

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