‘Solo: A Star Wars Story’ Might Be FineBy toddMay 11, 2018
‘Solo: A Star Wars Story’ Might Be Fine

 

Star Wars is a Disney product, so the sooner everyone accepts that the better we’ll all be, because we’ll be getting Star Wars movies until the sun burns out because nothing sells like nostalgia and BRAND recognition. That brings us to Solo: A Stars Wars Story. The original directors got kicked off the production and the star, Alden Ehrenreich, needed acting lessons, but that’s all in the past. It’s great now or whatever. The reviews are in!

(more…)

  Star Wars is a Disney product, so the sooner everyone accepts that the better we’ll all be, because we’ll be getting Star Wars movies until the sun burns out…
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Alice Eve Is A ThrowbackBy toddMay 03, 2018
Alice Eve Is A Throwback

 

Hey, remember Alice Eve? It seems like only 2013 when she was Hollywood’s go to for “blonde with huge breasts.” I wonder what happened? *Googles her age* Ah. I see. Well, she’s in a new movie called The Con Is On with Uma Thurman and Sofia Vergara, and here’s what she wore to the premiere. Vergara didn’t attend the premiere because either the movie is terrible or Alice Eve’s cleavage didn’t want to feel inadequate. Hey, don’t be like that, Alice Eve’s cleavage. I think you’re pretty special. Are you also in the movie? Is that so? Nice, nice.

 

  Hey, remember Alice Eve? It seems like only 2013 when she was Hollywood’s go to for “blonde with huge breasts.” I wonder what happened? *Googles her age* Ah. I…

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Here’s The ‘Avengers: Infinity War’ PremiereBy toddApril 27, 2018
Here’s The ‘Avengers: Infinity War’ Premiere

 

Since Avengers: Infinity War dropped last night, here’s a bunch of pics from the premiere. SPOILER: It has a lot of people in it. I hope some of these characters die, because this is too much. I also hope a lot of the DC characters die, but for different reasons. But yeah, here’s all the people you know from the Marvel movies not wearing their dumb ass costumes but wearing costumes picked out for them by a team of stylists months before.

 

  Since Avengers: Infinity War dropped last night, here’s a bunch of pics from the premiere. SPOILER: It has a lot of people in it. I hope some of these…

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‘Venom’ Has An Official Trailer And It Kinda Sucks Pretty HardBy toddApril 24, 2018
‘Venom’ Has An Official Trailer And It Kinda Sucks Pretty Hard

 

I really don’t know what to tell you. All I know about Venom is that dude from That 70s Show played him in that horrible Spider-Man movie. That is the extent of my Venom knowledge. I don’t know anymore Venom things. But yeah, this looks pretty wack. Tom Hardy not acting very well and doing some weird accent, Michelle Williams doing her best Michelle Williams concerned face, and that dude from Rogue One you loved so much you can even remember his character’s name. And Jenny Slate for some reason. Jenny Slate saying “sym-BI-ote” twice. From what I can tell, when you become Venom, you talk to yourself and get a long penis for a tongue. Missed opportunity not to make Venom a lesbian. Anyway, here’s the trailer. It’s a Sony movie, so expect Tom Hardy to eat Papa Johns at some point, but drink Coke separately because Papa Johns doesn’t carry Coke products. You heard it here first.

 

  I really don’t know what to tell you. All I know about Venom is that dude from That 70s Show played him in that horrible Spider-Man movie. That is…

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Emily Ratajkowski Had A Different Contract For The ‘I Feel Pretty’ PremiereBy toddApril 18, 2018
Emily Ratajkowski Had A Different Contract For The ‘I Feel Pretty’ Premiere

 

Emily Ratajkowski is also in the Amy Schumer movie, I Feel Pretty (which opens in two days and the critics embargo hasn’t been lifted yet), and Schumer is doing all she can to shit on anybody who has the audacity to believe that a movie about a woman getting self-esteem because of brain damage is “projecting.” You can always count on Amy! But enough of that. Like I was saying, Emily Ratajkowski attended the premiere, and as you can see, she wasn’t the “Emily Ratajkowski showing up at an event” like we’re all used to seeing (lawd). Let’s see if we can spot the difference. Not sure what Amy Schumer demanded to be in Ratajkowski’s promotional contract, but Ratajkowski even had to publicly whip herself for being hot. We won’t do that here.

 

  Emily Ratajkowski is also in the Amy Schumer movie, I Feel Pretty (which opens in two days and the critics embargo hasn’t been lifted yet), and Schumer is doing…
Amy Schumer Is Playing A BoxerBy toddApril 17, 2018
Amy Schumer Is Playing A Boxer

 

Even though her movie about a woman who doesn’t feel attractive until she suffers a concussion isn’t out yet, world renowned athlete Amy Schumer is set to star as a boxer in another female empowering movie where I assume her character also gets a concussion. Per The Hollywood Reporter:

The comedian is in talks for Christy Martin, a boxing drama based on the life and career of the titular world-champion fighter who pushed for women’s place in the sport.

Yes, we have to thank Christy Martin for women’s boxing becoming as popular as it is today. It’s so popular I just Googled Christy Martin and now she’s the only female boxer I know. This movie is already doing its job. Respect.

The film will follow Martin’s journey from a gym in West Virginia to becoming the first woman signed by famed boxing promoter Don King. The movie will also delve into her personal life and her marriage to an abusive boxing trainer, Jim Martin, who shot and stabbed Martin after she told him she was leaving him for a woman. She would later testify against him in court, sending him to prison for 25 years.

Oh, wait. This sounds like a drama. I guess since Kurt Metzger and Anthony Jeselnik isn’t writing her stuff anymore, she has to move to serious stuff. Good for her. I’m sure Amy Schumer playing a boxer in a drama will be a big hit. Big. And when it bombs worse than Syria, she can blame the alt-right or whatever. Luckily, she’s playing a boxer so when she gets hit in the mouth she won’t feel it because she doesn’t have any lips.

  Even though her movie about a woman who doesn’t feel attractive until she suffers a concussion isn’t out yet, world renowned athlete Amy Schumer is set to star as…

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Ariel Winter Had A Very Comfortable Movie Premiere With Burt ReynoldsBy toddMarch 26, 2018
Ariel Winter Had A Very Comfortable Movie Premiere With Burt Reynolds

 

A lot of you hit me up on Twitter about these pics of Ariel Winter at The Last Movie Star premiere because of the dress she had on, but what else would we expect Ariel Winter to wear? She understands who the stars of the show are, dude. So I looked at the pics and realized Burt Reynolds is in the movie, so that means he also went to the premiere. Ariel Winter seems like she wished he hadn’t. What’s going on here? Burt Reynolds looks like he would pay Ariel $130,000 so he could talk about it. You gotta chill, Burt.

 

  A lot of you hit me up on Twitter about these pics of Ariel Winter at The Last Movie Star premiere because of the dress she had on, but…

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The ‘Deadpool 2’ Trailer Is BadassBy toddMarch 22, 2018
The ‘Deadpool 2’ Trailer Is Badass

 

After a few teasers, the full trailer for Deadpool 2 dropped today, and holy shit. X-Men jokes, insane violence, Morena Baccarin’s fine ass, Josh Brolin as Cable, the introduction of the X-Force, Zazie Beetz as Domino, Terry Crews, and a LL Cool J song. There’s too much awesome in this that DC execs might commit mass suicide.

 

  After a few teasers, the full trailer for Deadpool 2 dropped today, and holy shit. X-Men jokes, insane violence, Morena Baccarin’s fine ass, Josh Brolin as Cable, the introduction…

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Bella Thorne Cleaned Up For A PremiereBy toddMarch 19, 2018
Bella Thorne Cleaned Up For A Premiere

 

Bella Thorne is in new movie that comes out this week called Midnight Sun. I watched the trailer and it looks like its about a white chick who can’t go out in the sun, so that must be devastating and requires a whole movie. Just think of all the Instagram pics she won’t be able to post because of this disease. I feel this movie will be a big hit on Tumblr. Anyway, Bella Thorne looks great here, so at least we can thank the movie for that. Not sure if she got paid extra to take a shower.

 

But if I were you, I’d watch this movie instead. It’s great:

 

 

  Bella Thorne is in new movie that comes out this week called Midnight Sun. I watched the trailer and it looks like its about a white chick who can’t…

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‘Avengers: Infinity War’ Has A Final TrailerBy toddMarch 16, 2018
‘Avengers: Infinity War’ Has A Final Trailer

 

The last trailer for Avengers: Infinity War dropped today, and as you can tell, it’s yet another comic book movie where a CGI villain tries to collect objects to gain the ultimate power in the universe or whatever. But this is Marvel movie, so it’ll be, you know, better. Captain America looks to have a beard on purpose, so that’s good. Anyway, the movie is the culmination of all the crap they’ve done for the last 10 years, and I expect Iron Man to die, because even Disney can’t afford Robert Downey, Jr. anymore. Maybe Black Widow and Hulk will die because Scarlett Johansson and Mark Ruffalo look like Black Widow and Hulk’s parents now. I’ll pay money to see this, obviously.

 

  The last trailer for Avengers: Infinity War dropped today, and as you can tell, it’s yet another comic book movie where a CGI villain tries to collect objects to…

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