Somebody Threw A Drink At Tomi LahrenBy toddMay 23, 2018
Somebody Threw A Drink At Tomi Lahren

 

Even though Tomi Lahren is politically insane for ratings, she’s still a white lady, so she went to brunch in Minneapolis. Brave Resistance fighters, also at brunch, threw a drink at her.

 

Lahren, 25, explained that she was at brunch with her parents when a group of patrons she assumed to be around her age threw water at her and “chanted profanities.” She called the incident “embarrassing.” “I think that those that threw the water and were applauding and laughing about it wanted to get their 15 minutes of fame by making video of me. I think looking back, those are the people that are going to be embarrassed by their actions. I think their parents raised them better,” Lahren said.

Twitter is now being mean to Tomi Lahren and saying she deserved it or whatever. She should join MS-13 so they’ll be nicer to her.

  Even though Tomi Lahren is politically insane for ratings, she’s still a white lady, so she went to brunch in Minneapolis. Brave Resistance fighters, also at brunch, threw a…

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Ariana Grande Is Dating Pete Davidson For Some ReasonBy toddMay 22, 2018
Ariana Grande Is Dating Pete Davidson For Some Reason

 

Ariana Grande broke up with Mac Miller earlier this month for reasons. Don’t know what those are. Pete Davidson broke up with Larry David’s daughter last week. When asked if he would okay after the breakup, he replied, “yeah, probably.” That appears to be true.

Ariana Grande and Pete Davidson are seeing each other, PEOPLE confirms. A source tells PEOPLE that Grande and Davidson’s relationship “just started,” adding that “it’s very casual.” A second source also confirms the news, which was first reported by Bossip. Reps for Grande and Davidson did not immediately respond to PEOPLE’s request for comment.

I Googled Larry David’s daughter and this seems like an upgrade for old Pete. She kinda looks like a Dollar Tree Krysten Ritter. I also learned that Ariana Grande definitely has a type.

 

  Ariana Grande broke up with Mac Miller earlier this month for reasons. Don’t know what those are. Pete Davidson broke up with Larry David’s daughter last week. When asked…

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Let’s Talk About Taylor Swift Last NightBy toddMay 21, 2018
Let’s Talk About Taylor Swift Last Night

 

The 2018 Billboard Music Awards was last night. Post Malone won Best Rap song and that seems like a vote Sen. Doug Jones made. Anyway, Taylor Swift unplugged from Tumblr and stepped back into our dimension to receive so more meaningless awards. It used to happen every year, but not so much anymore. But can we talk about her legs for a second? Actually can we talk about her legs for the rest of this post because goddamn. I’ve missed them. Here’s some pictures.

 

  The 2018 Billboard Music Awards was last night. Post Malone won Best Rap song and that seems like a vote Sen. Doug Jones made. Anyway, Taylor Swift unplugged from…

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Prince Charles Is Walking Meghan Markle Down The Aisle Instead Of Her Real DadBy toddMay 18, 2018
Prince Charles Is Walking Meghan Markle Down The Aisle Instead Of Her Real Dad

 

I’m still trying to understand why a black woman would want to marry into the British monarchy. Maybe it’s a part of a long term plan to snatch all the jewels the Queen stole from Africa. If that’s the plan, then I’m sorry for mentioning it here. My bad. Anyway, the wedding of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle is going down tomorrow and Prince Charles is walking her down the aisle. Apparently because her real dad is “sick,” but mostly because the Queen hates him, because nobody is allowed to profit off the wedding except her, I guess.

Prince Charles will accompany Meghan Markle down the aisle at St George’s Chapel when she marries Prince Harry, Kensington Palace has said. A statement said Markle had asked the Prince of Wales to accompany her on Saturday. “The Prince of Wales is pleased to be able to welcome Ms Markle to the royal family in this way,” it said.

Looks like Markle is fully assimilating. Anyway, the only reason the royal family exists is because their basically just a tourist attraction that the public has to pay for, but I’m serious about that jewels thing. If Markle doesn’t get them back, I say we invade. Shouldn’t be too hard. They can’t even carry knives now.

 

  I’m still trying to understand why a black woman would want to marry into the British monarchy. Maybe it’s a part of a long term plan to snatch all…

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Chrissy Teigen Had Another KidBy toddMay 17, 2018
Chrissy Teigen Had Another Kid

 

Television game show host and Twitter personality (wow, she should run for President), Chrissy Teigen had her second kid with John Legend earlier this morning. I read that it’s a boy. I also read somewhere that they designed it that way, because you can do that when you’re super rich. I could be wrong about them picking the gender part, but I don’t really feel like looking it up. But yeah, another child is in the world and Chrissy Teigen and John Legend are the parents. When the economy collapses and we’re using fidget spinners as currency in the new dystopia, this kid should be doing pretty well.

 

 

  Television game show host and Twitter personality (wow, she should run for President), Chrissy Teigen had her second kid with John Legend earlier this morning. I read that it’s…

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Kristen Stewart Is The Greatest Social Activist Of Our TimeBy toddMay 16, 2018
Kristen Stewart Is The Greatest Social Activist Of Our Time

 

I know there’s a push right now to put Harriet Tubman on the $20 bill, but maybe we should slow that down and think about Kristen Stewart. In 2015, the Cannes Film Festival basically told women they could only wear high heels, so much like Joan Of Arc before here, Kristen Stewart took off her Louboutins at an event in the French Riviera and walked barefoot in protest before she partied on a yacht later. What did Harriet Tubman ever do? Exactly.

 

  I know there’s a push right now to put Harriet Tubman on the $20 bill, but maybe we should slow that down and think about Kristen Stewart. In 2015,…

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Kendall Jenner Did CannesBy toddMay 14, 2018
Kendall Jenner Did Cannes

 

I don’t understand why Kendall Jenner was invited to Cannes, but she’s the only Kardashian/Jenner that isn’t completely annoying and she can fit in actual dresses the way designers intended them without having to use Vibranium stitches. And she’s very attractive. Also, she didn’t wear a bra with this dress, and that’s always a plus. If any of her sisters wore this same dress, they’d look ratchet as hell and probably be asked to leave. So, enjoy these pictures in whatever way you deem necessary.

 

  I don’t understand why Kendall Jenner was invited to Cannes, but she’s the only Kardashian/Jenner that isn’t completely annoying and she can fit in actual dresses the way designers…

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‘Solo: A Star Wars Story’ Might Be FineBy toddMay 11, 2018
‘Solo: A Star Wars Story’ Might Be Fine

 

Star Wars is a Disney product, so the sooner everyone accepts that the better we’ll all be, because we’ll be getting Star Wars movies until the sun burns out because nothing sells like nostalgia and BRAND recognition. That brings us to Solo: A Stars Wars Story. The original directors got kicked off the production and the star, Alden Ehrenreich, needed acting lessons, but that’s all in the past. It’s great now or whatever. The reviews are in!

(more…)

  Star Wars is a Disney product, so the sooner everyone accepts that the better we’ll all be, because we’ll be getting Star Wars movies until the sun burns out…
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Ariana Grande Is Single NowBy toddMay 10, 2018
Ariana Grande Is Single Now

 

After two and a half years of dating, Ariana Grande and Mac Miller (Googles what Mac Miller does) have broken up.

Ariana Grande and Mac Miller have called it quits on dating … but sources close to the 2 tell TMZ they remain the closest of friends. We’re told Ariana and Mac quietly cut off their romantic relationship after their work schedules became too busy, but they’ve remained best friends since then … as always. Our sources say the ex-couple love each other dearly and that will continue to be the case but, again … just as close friends.

Look, Ariana Grande and Mac Miller went public with their relationship in September 2016 – three months after the Manchester bombing. Do we really need to figure out what happened here? He was there for her at her lowest point and since UNPROCESSED EMOTIONS, it was read as “hey, this means we’re in love and should be together” instead of  “hey, thanks for being a friend.” Now it’s almost three years laters and Ariana is now able to contextualize her feelings about Mac Miller and was like “nah.” Thanks for reading my totally uninformed psychoanalysis of their relationship! Hope you’re having a great day!

 

  After two and a half years of dating, Ariana Grande and Mac Miller (Googles what Mac Miller does) have broken up. Ariana Grande and Mac Miller have called it quits on dating…

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The 2018 Met Gala Was Last NightBy toddMay 08, 2018
The 2018 Met Gala Was Last Night

 

So, the 2018 Met Gala was last night. The night where celebrities get dressed up in utterly ridiculous shit and get their pictures taken under the pretense that they’re raising money for something. The theme this year was “Heavenly Bodies: Fashion and the Catholic Imagination,” so they all wore stuff with religious stuff on it or whatever. No think pieces about cultural appropriation yet from the Catholic Church. Anyway, they all looked dumb. Rihanna was the black Pope. Jared Leto offered a reward for Robin Hood. Lena Waithe wanted everyone to know she was gay if they didn’t already. Katy Perry wore wings. Tom Brady looked like he colonized Wakanda. Cardi B was Cardi B at an event. She looks like she has no idea where she it or why she’s there, but is just happy to be there (she won’t be invited back). Sarah Jessica Parker is 53 but looks 83. Kim Kardashian wore what she always wears. She has nothing else to offer. Every other dude there wore just a suit, and every other chick there wore something that would show off their boobs. But fashion’s big night or whatever.

 

  So, the 2018 Met Gala was last night. The night where celebrities get dressed up in utterly ridiculous shit and get their pictures taken under the pretense that they’re…

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