Can We Please Get Ariel Winter A Stylist?By toddMay 15, 2017

Look, I realize Ariel Winter is fully embracing her curves or whatever to the detriment of all those around her lately, but can she get a gay guy to do that for her? I’m willing to start a Go Fund Me or cut more of the EPA budget to throw some money at this problem at this point. Like, how do you look in the mirror then leave this house in this? And why is she waving at people? Stop bringing attention to yourself. Just go to the nearest place serving brunch and talk this over with anybody dude you see there.

Look, I realize Ariel Winter is fully embracing her curves or whatever to the detriment of all those around her lately, but can she get a gay guy to do…

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‘Baywatch’ Had A PremiereBy toddMay 15, 2017

 

Hollywood is almost running out of things to reboot that are only marketable because of brand recognition and nostalgia, so here’s some pictures from the Baywatch premiere.  I honestly don’t understand why Alexandra Daddario isn’t more famous than Jennifer Lawrence and why she continues to shit like this, because damn. For The Rock‘s sake, I hope this movie doesn’t flop since it will probably be used against him during the upcoming Presidential debates.

 

  Hollywood is almost running out of things to reboot that are only marketable because of brand recognition and nostalgia, so here’s some pictures from the Baywatch premiere.  I honestly don’t…
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Mother’s Day Dump 05.14.2017By toddMay 14, 2017

Gurl bye

A post shared by Demi Rose (@demirosemawby) on

 

It’s Mother’s Day, so shout out to all the mother’s out there. I hope you called yours, and if your mom isn’t here, call somebody else’s. They’ll appreciate it. Also, I’m not sure if Demi Rose has plans to be a mother at some point, but I would very much like to discuss that with her.

 

Gurl bye A post shared by Demi Rose (@demirosemawby) on May 13, 2017 at 12:26pm PDT   It’s Mother’s Day, so shout out to all the mother’s out there. I…

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Here’s The Miss USA 2017 Bikini PrelimsBy toddMay 12, 2017

To make up for the Miley Cyrus and Amy Schumer posts, here’s some pics of the Miss USA 2017 contestants in bikinis. Do I really need to say anything about these? Wait, I do. Miss Maryland and Miss New Jersey and Miss Arkansas. How y’all doin?

To make up for the Miley Cyrus and Amy Schumer posts, here’s some pics of the Miss USA 2017 contestants in bikinis. Do I really need to say anything about…
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Amy Schumer’s New Movie SucksBy toddMay 12, 2017

Amy Schumer has a new movie coming out today called Snatched, and I’m glad I looked at the cast and the synopsis, because I thought it was about Amy Schumer in a room with bread. It’s not.

When her boyfriend dumps her before their exotic vacation, a young woman persuades her ultra-cautious mother to travel with her to paradise, with unexpected results.

The “ultra-cautious mother” is played by Goldie Hawn, so off top you know this movie is less believable than Transformers, because when a woman comes out of Goldie Hawn’s vagina, she grows up to look like this. Maybe they should have said Amy Schumer was adopted. It currently has a 37% on Rotten Tomatoes, and I assume that will go up once Teen Vogue reviews it or reviewers get death threats and petitions for them to lose their jobs because they hate women instead of hating bad movies or whatever. I would call Schumer the female Dane Cook, but at least Dane Cook isn’t a horrific human being.  Oh, and if you need another reason not to see this, Lena Dunham posted this. You’d think Lena would stop publicly supporting things after Hillary Clinton. Honestly, we should be blaming her more than Comey.

 

 

Amy Schumer has a new movie coming out today called Snatched, and I’m glad I looked at the cast and the synopsis, because I thought it was about Amy Schumer in…

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Miley Cyrus Isn’t Black AnymoreBy toddMay 12, 2017
Miley Cyrus Isn’t Black Anymore

 

Remember that time Miley Cyrus tried to make an Atlanta trap album and tried to twerk then tried to be The Flaming Lips on her next album about weed or whatever? All that worked out pretty well. In what will sure to be great news for Trump supporters, Miley Cyrus is white again and has a new single called “Malibu” which is kinda country and pop and makes Noah Cyrus seem edgy.

 

 

Also, Miley Cyrus’ new song is currently the second best song called “Malibu”, mostly because I only know two songs called “Malibu”.

 

 

#FBF LOL

 

  Remember that time Miley Cyrus tried to make an Atlanta trap album and tried to twerk then tried to be The Flaming Lips on her next album about weed…

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Who Wants To See Ashley Graham Naked In ‘V Magazine’?By toddMay 09, 2017
Who Wants To See Ashley Graham Naked In ‘V Magazine’?

 

So to get traffic and to pat themselves on the back for promoting body positivity than will translate into ad click dollars, V Magazine had Ashley Graham pose completely naked. I’ve heard this described as “brave” (which doesn’t make sense if you think about it longer than five seconds), and I’ve read that Ashley Graham has “curves for days”. That’s definitely one way to say it, I guess. Anyway, here’s Ashley Graham naked (NSFW). Please note, these the airbrushed, so imagine the H.P. Lovecraft nightmare these would be if they weren’t. And no, I wouldn’t hit it. Please stop telling me I would. I appreciate your concern.

(more…)

  So to get traffic and to pat themselves on the back for promoting body positivity than will translate into ad click dollars, V Magazine had Ashley Graham pose completely…

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The 2017 MTV Movie And TV Awards Were Last Night, Here’s Some PicsBy toddMay 08, 2017
The 2017 MTV Movie And TV Awards Were Last Night, Here’s Some Pics

 

Like I said, the 2017 MTV Movie And TV Awards were last night. I didn’t watch them. You probably didn’t either. Or maybe you did. I don’t know you. All I know is that Cara Delevingne shaved her head, the cast of the Fast and Furious abominations won the Generation Award, and the two dudes from Moonlight won Best Kiss. Here’s 58 pics of people who attended. Pretty exciting stuff.

 

  Like I said, the 2017 MTV Movie And TV Awards were last night. I didn’t watch them. You probably didn’t either. Or maybe you did. I don’t know you….
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Ariel Winter Is Mad You Pointed That She Looked RidiculousBy toddMay 05, 2017
Ariel Winter Is Mad You Pointed That She Looked Ridiculous

 

Modern Family had some kind of event on Wednesday and the cast showed up. Ariel Winter also showed up, but she showed up to a casual event with in a short dress with her titties in the window. Apparently we shouldn’t point that out.

 

Ariel Winter

 

Like, I understand that Ariel Winter is feeling herself lately, but like, do the titties always have to be out? And if they do, can she maybe like hire a fashion consultant? A professional stylist? Get a gay friend? By all means, let them breathe, but why does she always have to look so damn tacky? She looks like she stopped by the PTA meeting on her way to the club. Not a good look, man.

 

  Modern Family had some kind of event on Wednesday and the cast showed up. Ariel Winter also showed up, but she showed up to a casual event with in…

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Bella Thorne Did The NYLON PartyBy toddMay 04, 2017

NYLON’s Annual Young Hollywood May Issue Event was on Tuesday night, and besides having an overly long name, Bella Thorne attended and did Bella Thorne poses.  The only reason I mention this is to you is that if you lean back and squint your eyes and tilt your head, she looks super hot. Then you get to the closeup of her face. My apologies. I really didn’t want to do this to you.

NYLON’s Annual Young Hollywood May Issue Event was on Tuesday night, and besides having an overly long name, Bella Thorne attended and did Bella Thorne poses.  The only reason I…

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