DeRay McKesson Thinks ‘War Of The Planet Of The Apes’ Is About HimBy toddJuly 12, 2017
DeRay McKesson Thinks ‘War Of The Planet Of The Apes’ Is About Him

 

When self-serving hyperwokeness is the basis of your revenue stream, sometimes you have to reach all the way to the fucking moon to find something to make you feel oppressed. Shaun King is usually circling the moon if you ever make it there. DeRay Mckesson was there yesterday. He thought, because one single ape in War Of The Planet Of The Apes is wearing a blue vest, that the filmmakers and the studio specifically targeted him with a racially coded message in order to push their anti-black agenda. Imagine having your head that far up your own ass. Yes, you invented blue vests. You know, the blue vests the apes wore in the original Planet Of The Apes movies. And if you see an ape in a blue vest and you automatically see yourself in that, then you might practice some “self-care” as the young people like to do.

 

  When self-serving hyperwokeness is the basis of your revenue stream, sometimes you have to reach all the way to the fucking moon to find something to make you feel…
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‘The Dark Tower’ Has A New TrailerBy toddJuly 10, 2017
‘The Dark Tower’ Has A New Trailer

 

So, The Dark Tower has a new trailer. I just found out the movie is supposed to be a sequel to the books. Not sure what that means. Stephen King wrote like 8 books for this, but I guess they have something better than those 8 books. Something better like a giant laser in the sky and using most of the first trailer in the second trailer. And Matthew McConaughey walking into rooms. And a black man walking around New York City with guns and not getting shot or arrested. That last one is cool, because this is supposed to be a fantasy.

 

 

  So, The Dark Tower has a new trailer. I just found out the movie is supposed to be a sequel to the books. Not sure what that means. Stephen…
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Robert Downey, Jr. Wants To Stop Doing MCU Movies ‘Before It’s Embarrassing’By toddJuly 03, 2017
Robert Downey, Jr. Wants To Stop Doing MCU Movies ‘Before It’s Embarrassing’

 

Robert Downey, Jr. is 52 and has been playing Tony Stark/Iron Man for 9 years. He was a drug addict who nobody would hire before. I feel that’s less embarrassing (via Screenrant)

“Everyone says to me it’s like a glove that fits so well. I have to start over every time but I am starting over with a pretty solid base. I just never want to blow it for the last six or seven [movies] I have done by dropping the ball because I decided to go do it one more time. I just want to hang up my jersey before it’s embarrassing.”…“It’s this cyclical thing I could have said when the first Avengers came out: ‘It’s never going to get any better than that. Everybody stop’. But to me it’s always about people and opportunities, like the (Avengers directors Anthony and Joe) Russos, who I adore.”

I guess when you do something for 9 years it could get old after a while, but he makes like $50M every time they CGI the Iron Man suit on him, and it probably won’t get embarrassing until he and Captain America find out they both have moms named Martha.

 

  Robert Downey, Jr. is 52 and has been playing Tony Stark/Iron Man for 9 years. He was a drug addict who nobody would hire before. I feel that’s less…

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Zendaya Did The ‘Spider-Man’ PremiereBy toddJune 30, 2017
Zendaya Did The ‘Spider-Man’ Premiere

 

Remember when people lost their shit because they thought Zendaya would be playing Mary Jane because MARY JANE IS WHITE NOT BLACK AND OMG THIS MEANS WHITE GENOCIDE HANG ON FOR ONE SEC THANKS FOR THE WARNING OFFICER I WON’T DRIVE WITH DRUGS IN THE CAR AGAIN BUT BACK TO WHAT I WAS SAYING ABOUT WHITE GENOCIDE. That was weird. Turns out she’s not playing Mary Jane, so the integrity of the comic book about a dude in a leotard getting bit by a magic spider remains intact. We really avoided a national nightmare and panic in the streets there. But Peter Parker has crush on a girl in the new movie and she’s a hot black chick SO HOLD ON WE MUST TAKE TO THE STREETS AND BOYCOTT MARVEL OMG WHITE PEOPLE. Typing in all caps is fun. I can see why people on the Internet do it. Also, I know the movie is called Spider-Man: Homecoming, but “Zendaya Did The Spider-Man: Homecoming Premiere” wouldn’t fit on a single line. Is that ok with you? Don’t tell me how o do my job. That’s racist.

 

  Remember when people lost their shit because they thought Zendaya would be playing Mary Jane because MARY JANE IS WHITE NOT BLACK AND OMG THIS MEANS WHITE GENOCIDE HANG…

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Who Wants ‘Deadpool 2’ News? Cool.By toddJune 29, 2017

Giving Julian Dennison a warm L welcome as we stare off into our beautiful future together. #RickyBakerPool #NZ

A post shared by Ryan Reynolds (@vancityreynolds) on

 

I love me some Deadpool. It’s better than most of the Marvel movies and all the DC movies (except Wonder Woman). And it’s the best thing Ryan Reynolds has ever done besides Blake Lively. Anyway, Deadpool 2 is filming, and apparently they added 14-year-old Julian Dennison from Hunt For the Wilderpeople to the cast. You ever seen that movie? It’s hilarious. This kid is hilarious. Also, Josh Brolin is playing Cable. That shit is on his face, because Cable’s face looks like this. Josh Brolin isn’t a good enough actor to make his eye glow like that. Daniel Day-Lewis would have found a way. But Daniel Day-Lewis is making dresses now or something. It’s like when Michael Jackson tried to play baseball. Not sure how this post turned into a post about Daniel Day-Lewis. Guess I’ll end it now. 

 

Giving Julian Dennison a warm L welcome as we stare off into our beautiful future together. #RickyBakerPool #NZ A post shared by Ryan Reynolds (@vancityreynolds) on Jun 27, 2017 at…

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‘Spider-Man: Homecoming’ Will Have Captain America, Gwyneth Paltrow, Jennifer Connelly, And 5 VillainsBy toddJune 26, 2017
‘Spider-Man: Homecoming’ Will Have Captain America, Gwyneth Paltrow, Jennifer Connelly, And 5 Villains

 

Sony released their final cast list for Spider-Man: Homecoming, and good lord they crammed in everyone.

The first addition is Jennifer Connelly, who Marvel fans may be familiar with in her pre-Marvel Cinematic Universe role as Betty Ross in the 2003 Hulk…..Connelly’s role in Spider-Man: Homecoming will be as “Karen/Suit Lady” lending her voice to the A.I. to Peter Parker’s Spider-Man suit created by Tony Stark (Robert Downey, Jr.). The second surprise addition is Gwyneth Paltrow, who reprises her role as Pepper Potts. Her last appearance in the MCU was 2013’s Iron Man 3. Her character was temporarily written off in the MCU following the events of the film as Tony explained it as a “separation.” It will be interesting how they write her back in. The cast list also reveals more Spider-Man staples in Aaron Davis/The Prowler, Mac Gargan/The Scorpion (who was also Venom at one point in the comics), two Shockers, Betty Brant and Doris Toomes. They’ll be played by Donald Glover, Michael Mando, Bokeem Woodbine (who plays the Herman Schultz version of the Shocker), Logan Marshall-Green (who plays the Jackson Brice version of Shocker), Angourie Rice, and Garcelle Beauvais, respectively. Stan Lee and Chris Evans (Captain America/Steve Rogers) will be making cameos in the film.

Well, I was kinda hoping to see a Spider-Man movie, but I guess we’ll be seeing Spider-Man in a Marvel/Sony movie. Like in Batman v Superman, where they crammed enough ideas for 6 movies into 3 hours and it ended up being a piece of shit. But I can understand why Sony is doing this. Kids are gonna love those The Prowler/The Shocker action figures. They’re such beloved villains and household names. Just yesterday, I saw four teens wearing The Prowler t-shirts.

 

  Sony released their final cast list for Spider-Man: Homecoming, and good lord they crammed in everyone. The first addition is Jennifer Connelly, who Marvel fans may be familiar with…

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Scarlett Johansson Took The ‘Rough Night’ Premiere LiterallyBy toddJune 13, 2017
Scarlett Johansson Took The ‘Rough Night’ Premiere Literally

 

Scarlett Johansson is in a new movie called Rough Night  (“Things go terribly wrong for a group of girlfriend’s who hire a male stripper for a bachelorette party in Miami”) that looks like a gender swapped remake of  Very Bad Things  (“A prostitute is killed during a bachelor party and the attendees turn on each other as the wedding approaches”) but with more jokes and zany characters! Characters like the hot one, the funny fat one, the sexy black one, the racially ambiguous crazy one, the lesbian! All boxes checked! There is no trans representation so I feel this movie might be problematic. Anyway, Scarlett Johansson looked pretty rough at the premiere. That’s a weird kind of promotion.

 

 

  Scarlett Johansson is in a new movie called Rough Night  (“Things go terribly wrong for a group of girlfriend’s who hire a male stripper for a bachelorette party in…

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Kara Del Toro Understands PremieresBy toddJune 13, 2017
Kara Del Toro Understands Premieres

 

I looked up 47 Meters Down and it told me the synopsis was “two sisters vacationing in Mexico are trapped in a shark cage at the bottom of the ocean”. It stars Mandy Moore and Claire Holt, but we don’t need diversity in this, because that synopsis sounds like something two white girls would do. Kara Del Toro would never get trapped in a shark cage because she’d never get in one. She will go to the movie premiere about two white girls getting trapped in a shark cage though. Holy shit look at her boobs. That’s the whole point of this post.

 

  I looked up 47 Meters Down and it told me the synopsis was “two sisters vacationing in Mexico are trapped in a shark cage at the bottom of the…

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‘Black Panther’ Has A PosterBy toddJune 09, 2017
‘Black Panther’ Has A Poster

 

Marvel Studios just released the first poster for Black Panther ahead of the teaser trailer that’s gonna drop during Game 4 tonight, and damn. All I can really say if this was a character on Game Of Thrones, the show wouldn’t be on the air anymore because all the white characters would have ran away to the suburbs.

(more…)

  Marvel Studios just released the first poster for Black Panther ahead of the teaser trailer that’s gonna drop during Game 4 tonight, and damn. All I can really say…
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‘Wonder Woman’ Made $223M In 4 DaysBy toddJune 05, 2017
‘Wonder Woman’ Made $223M In 4 Days

 

According to Box Office Mojo and the site I took the below blockquote from, Wonder Woman will more that likely double its $149M production budget by the end of the week. Somewhere right now, men with Nazi haircuts are crying.

Warner Bros.’ Wonder Woman defied expectations to take $100.5 million in the United States, £6.18 million here in the UK and $222 million worldwide, a record for a female-directed film and the sixth highest non-sequel superhero debut ever. With a budget of $150 million, Wonder Woman is also the costliest film ever directed by a woman.

I’m not gonna turn this into some militant SJW post, but if you can’t realize why this could be a huge deal for some women, then you’re probably just an asshole in your daily life and nobody really likes you. Like, I’ve seen Batman’s parents die four times in four separate movies. Let’s move on. Wonder Woman kicked ass in the movie, but I hope she’s saving her strength for the sequel which will be her biggest fight of all: arguing in the comment sections of Thought Catalog and Teen Vogue articles that say she’s a bad role model for women because she represents unachievable body and fighting standards.

  According to Box Office Mojo and the site I took the below blockquote from, Wonder Woman will more that likely double its $149M production budget by the end of…

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