‘Spider-Man: Homecoming’ Will Have Captain America, Gwyneth Paltrow, Jennifer Connelly, And 5 VillainsBy toddJune 26, 2017
‘Spider-Man: Homecoming’ Will Have Captain America, Gwyneth Paltrow, Jennifer Connelly, And 5 Villains

 

Sony released their final cast list for Spider-Man: Homecoming, and good lord they crammed in everyone.

The first addition is Jennifer Connelly, who Marvel fans may be familiar with in her pre-Marvel Cinematic Universe role as Betty Ross in the 2003 Hulk…..Connelly’s role in Spider-Man: Homecoming will be as “Karen/Suit Lady” lending her voice to the A.I. to Peter Parker’s Spider-Man suit created by Tony Stark (Robert Downey, Jr.). The second surprise addition is Gwyneth Paltrow, who reprises her role as Pepper Potts. Her last appearance in the MCU was 2013’s Iron Man 3. Her character was temporarily written off in the MCU following the events of the film as Tony explained it as a “separation.” It will be interesting how they write her back in. The cast list also reveals more Spider-Man staples in Aaron Davis/The Prowler, Mac Gargan/The Scorpion (who was also Venom at one point in the comics), two Shockers, Betty Brant and Doris Toomes. They’ll be played by Donald Glover, Michael Mando, Bokeem Woodbine (who plays the Herman Schultz version of the Shocker), Logan Marshall-Green (who plays the Jackson Brice version of Shocker), Angourie Rice, and Garcelle Beauvais, respectively. Stan Lee and Chris Evans (Captain America/Steve Rogers) will be making cameos in the film.

Well, I was kinda hoping to see a Spider-Man movie, but I guess we’ll be seeing Spider-Man in a Marvel/Sony movie. Like in Batman v Superman, where they crammed enough ideas for 6 movies into 3 hours and it ended up being a piece of shit. But I can understand why Sony is doing this. Kids are gonna love those The Prowler/The Shocker action figures. They’re such beloved villains and household names. Just yesterday, I saw four teens wearing The Prowler t-shirts.

 

  Sony released their final cast list for Spider-Man: Homecoming, and good lord they crammed in everyone. The first addition is Jennifer Connelly, who Marvel fans may be familiar with…

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Scarlett Johansson Took The ‘Rough Night’ Premiere LiterallyBy toddJune 13, 2017
Scarlett Johansson Took The ‘Rough Night’ Premiere Literally

 

Scarlett Johansson is in a new movie called Rough Night  (“Things go terribly wrong for a group of girlfriend’s who hire a male stripper for a bachelorette party in Miami”) that looks like a gender swapped remake of  Very Bad Things  (“A prostitute is killed during a bachelor party and the attendees turn on each other as the wedding approaches”) but with more jokes and zany characters! Characters like the hot one, the funny fat one, the sexy black one, the racially ambiguous crazy one, the lesbian! All boxes checked! There is no trans representation so I feel this movie might be problematic. Anyway, Scarlett Johansson looked pretty rough at the premiere. That’s a weird kind of promotion.

 

 

  Scarlett Johansson is in a new movie called Rough Night  (“Things go terribly wrong for a group of girlfriend’s who hire a male stripper for a bachelorette party in…

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Kara Del Toro Understands PremieresBy toddJune 13, 2017
Kara Del Toro Understands Premieres

 

I looked up 47 Meters Down and it told me the synopsis was “two sisters vacationing in Mexico are trapped in a shark cage at the bottom of the ocean”. It stars Mandy Moore and Claire Holt, but we don’t need diversity in this, because that synopsis sounds like something two white girls would do. Kara Del Toro would never get trapped in a shark cage because she’d never get in one. She will go to the movie premiere about two white girls getting trapped in a shark cage though. Holy shit look at her boobs. That’s the whole point of this post.

 

  I looked up 47 Meters Down and it told me the synopsis was “two sisters vacationing in Mexico are trapped in a shark cage at the bottom of the…

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‘Black Panther’ Has A PosterBy toddJune 09, 2017
‘Black Panther’ Has A Poster

 

Marvel Studios just released the first poster for Black Panther ahead of the teaser trailer that’s gonna drop during Game 4 tonight, and damn. All I can really say if this was a character on Game Of Thrones, the show wouldn’t be on the air anymore because all the white characters would have ran away to the suburbs.

(more…)

  Marvel Studios just released the first poster for Black Panther ahead of the teaser trailer that’s gonna drop during Game 4 tonight, and damn. All I can really say…
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‘Wonder Woman’ Made $223M In 4 DaysBy toddJune 05, 2017
‘Wonder Woman’ Made $223M In 4 Days

 

According to Box Office Mojo and the site I took the below blockquote from, Wonder Woman will more that likely double its $149M production budget by the end of the week. Somewhere right now, men with Nazi haircuts are crying.

Warner Bros.’ Wonder Woman defied expectations to take $100.5 million in the United States, £6.18 million here in the UK and $222 million worldwide, a record for a female-directed film and the sixth highest non-sequel superhero debut ever. With a budget of $150 million, Wonder Woman is also the costliest film ever directed by a woman.

I’m not gonna turn this into some militant SJW post, but if you can’t realize why this could be a huge deal for some women, then you’re probably just an asshole in your daily life and nobody really likes you. Like, I’ve seen Batman’s parents die four times in four separate movies. Let’s move on. Wonder Woman kicked ass in the movie, but I hope she’s saving her strength for the sequel which will be her biggest fight of all: arguing in the comment sections of Thought Catalog and Teen Vogue articles that say she’s a bad role model for women because she represents unachievable body and fighting standards.

  According to Box Office Mojo and the site I took the below blockquote from, Wonder Woman will more that likely double its $149M production budget by the end of…

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Alexandra Daddario Did The Berlin ‘Baywatch’ PremiereBy toddMay 31, 2017
Alexandra Daddario Did The Berlin ‘Baywatch’ Premiere

 

Baywatch is a pile of shit that made as much money as a Bernie Sanders-backed candidate, but everybody involved is still being forced to promote this abomination. This time in Berlin, Germany. They should have just sent David Hasselhoff. They love him over there. I don’t know, Germans are weird. Anyway, Alexandra Daddario was there with her fantastic boobs/face/vibe/but mostly boobs. Not sure who she is wearing, but if I had to guess, it’d put my money on the up and coming stylist, Covfefé.

 

  Baywatch is a pile of shit that made as much money as a Bernie Sanders-backed candidate, but everybody involved is still being forced to promote this abomination. This time…

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‘Wonder Woman’ Is Killing ItBy toddMay 30, 2017
‘Wonder Woman’ Is Killing It

 

Because all film critics are secretly paid Marvel shills who don’t understand the genius of DC films, Wonder Woman currently holds a 96% on Rotten Tomatoes. Wait. Shit. Let me start that over. Because all film critics review coherent and competent movies favorably, Wonder Woman currently holds a 96% on Rotten Tomatoes. Sorry. I screwed that intro up. Although this might cause some cognitive dissonance for DC fan boys who also hate women. That remains to be seen. Meanwhile, Wonder Woman almost has a higher score than Man Of Steel, Batman v Superman, and Suicide Squad combined. It also has the lowest budget of the three, so it’ll more than likely be the most profitable of the three. If I was Martha, I’d see if I could switch kids.

 

  Because all film critics are secretly paid Marvel shills who don’t understand the genius of DC films, Wonder Woman currently holds a 96% on Rotten Tomatoes. Wait. Shit. Let…

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‘Wonder Woman’ Had A PremiereBy toddMay 26, 2017
‘Wonder Woman’ Had A Premiere

 

The bar is pretty low, but according to early reviews, Wonder Woman is the best DCEU film to date. And that’s awesome. Wonder Woman can beat the living shit out of Batman and Superman (Google it) , so maybe that’s why Superman whines a lot and Batman does Crossfit montages. The film had its premiere at the Pantages Theatre in Hollywood last night, but it’s also having a women-only screening at the Alamo Drafthouse in Austin, Texas.  You’ll never guess who is upset about it!

That didn’t go over well with some men, judging by the comments on the theater’s Facebook page. “Apparently ‘equality’ is only selective nowadays,” one person wrote. “How about a ‘men’s only’ showing of a movie or is that not how equality works?”

Good lord, just shut up. Can you shut the hell up? If you’re this angry about women being somewhere without you and want to be around a bunch of dudes, go join ISIS, dipshit.

 

  The bar is pretty low, but according to early reviews, Wonder Woman is the best DCEU film to date. And that’s awesome. Wonder Woman can beat the living shit…

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‘Spider-Man: Homecoming’ Has A New Trailer With Donald Glover In ItBy toddMay 24, 2017
‘Spider-Man: Homecoming’ Has A New Trailer With Donald Glover In It

 

The third trailer for Spider-Man: Homecoming dropped today, and I don’t it’ll be as good as a DC movie. There isn’t a Queen song and Peter Parker doesn’t hate his job or have a Jesus complex and the jokes don’t seem forced. I’m sure the critics will get hard over it, because they all just seem to like enjoying going to the movies and not wanting to self-harm trying to makes sense of what the plot is supposed to be. This movie might be better after the Ultimate Edition comes out I bet.

 

  The third trailer for Spider-Man: Homecoming dropped today, and I don’t it’ll be as good as a DC movie. There isn’t a Queen song and Peter Parker doesn’t hate…

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Alexandra Daddario Didn’t Win Any Billboard Music AwardsBy toddMay 22, 2017

I guess if there was a point to the 2017 Billboard Music Awards for me is that Alexandra Daddario went and wore this dress. Depending on what angle she gets, Alexandra Daddario can either look super hot, possessed by a demonic spirit, or the robot crew member of an Alien movie. But titties.

I guess if there was a point to the 2017 Billboard Music Awards for me is that Alexandra Daddario went and wore this dress. Depending on what angle she gets,…

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