Karen Gillan Did The ‘Jumanji’ PremiereBy toddDecember 13, 2017
Karen Gillan Did The ‘Jumanji’ Premiere

 

It’s 2017 and nothing should shock you anymore except maybe Jumanji: Welcome To The Jungle is apparently a good movie. Karen Gillan is in that movie. This is her at the premiere in Hollywood. In spite of being a redhead and so white she’s see through, Karen Gillan is pretty hot. She’s also like 8 feet tall I feel. I thought she was hot before you when I used to watch Dr. Who, so that makes me cooler than you or however that works when people say things like that.

 

  It’s 2017 and nothing should shock you anymore except maybe Jumanji: Welcome To The Jungle is apparently a good movie. Karen Gillan is in that movie. This is her…
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Dove Cameron Also Attended The ‘Star Wars: The Last Jedi’ PremiereBy toddDecember 11, 2017
Dove Cameron Also Attended The ‘Star Wars: The Last Jedi’ Premiere

 

Dove Cameron has nothing to do with Star Wars: The Last Jedi, and that’s fine. I wonder who invited her. That doesn’t really matter, because she’s wearing this dress and sticking her ass out even though she looks like a baby doll that’s supposed to be a sex doll and that’s a little weird. Very confusing. Roy Moore was dig it until he finds out she’s 21. “She can legally drink? Ewww,” he might say.

 

  Dove Cameron has nothing to do with Star Wars: The Last Jedi, and that’s fine. I wonder who invited her. That doesn’t really matter, because she’s wearing this dress…

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‘Star Wars: The Last Jedi’ Had A World Premiere Saturday NightBy toddDecember 11, 2017
‘Star Wars: The Last Jedi’ Had A World Premiere Saturday Night

 

It snowed in Atlanta on Friday. And when I say “it snowed”, I mean it pretty much snowed all day Friday and all night. We aren’t prepared for that in the South. I say that because John Boyega was trapped here on Friday, but he eventually made it to the premiere of Star Wars: The Last Jedi. Here’s pictures from that premiere. The Last Jedi early reviews are calling this the best Star Wars movie since Empire Strikes Back, but they also said that about The Force Awakens (it wasn’t) and Rogue One (it really wasn’t), and they only people the studio invites to these early screenings are Star Wars dorks and people paid to say it was great, so when you watch the movie you can judge for yourself. It might be the greatest Star Wars movie ever, but we really won’t know until Disney makes the 6,378 other Star wars movies they have planned or until people realize the Star Wars franchise is just a cash cow for a consolidated monopoly. Either or.

 

  It snowed in Atlanta on Friday. And when I say “it snowed”, I mean it pretty much snowed all day Friday and all night. We aren’t prepared for that…

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Bryan Singer Sued For Raping A 17-Year-Old Dude In 2003By toddDecember 08, 2017
Bryan Singer Sued For Raping A 17-Year-Old Dude In 2003

 

Earlier this month, director Bryan Singer was directing the Queen biopic, Bohemian Rhapsody, then just left one day and didn’t come back. Then the production shut down “due to the unexpected unavailability of Bryan Singer.” Then Singer got fired. Then Singer said he was trying to take of his sick mother. The studio was like, yeah ok. Four days later, Singer is hit with a lawsuit for sexually assaulting a teenager in 2003.

According to the lawsuit, obtained by TMZ, Singer was on a yacht in the Seattle area back in 2003 … a yacht owned by wealthy tech investor, Lester Waters. The suit claims it was a party populated by young gay males, including the plaintiff, Cesar Sanchez-Guzman. The suit claims Singer offered to take Guzman, who was 17 at the time, on a tour of the yacht. When they got to one of the rooms, the suit alleges Singer thrust his body on Guzman, forced him to the floor, shoved Guzman’s face against his crotch and demanded he perform oral sex. The suit claims Singer pulled out his penis, smacked Guzman in the face with it and forced it into his mouth. Guzman claims he pleaded with Singer to stop, but he kept going … causing him to choke. The suit goes on to allege Singer then forcibly performed oral sex on Guzman. Guzman says he again pleaded with Singer to stop, to no avail. He says Singer then forcibly anally penetrated him, all while ignoring Guzman’s pleas.

This makes the fourth time Bryan Singer has been sued for sexually assaulting or doing weird shit with teenage boys, and let’s not forget Singer’s infamous pool parties with barely legal, naked twinks.

I guess his mother is okay now, because he lawyers immediately released a statement denying the allegations (per People):

“Bryan categorically denies these allegations and will vehemently defend this lawsuit to the very end. Cesar Sanchez-Guzman apparently claims that he did not remember this alleged incident from 2003 until now. Significantly, when Sanchez-Guzman filed for bankruptcy only a few years ago, he failed to disclose this alleged claim when he was supposed to identify all of his assets, but conveniently, now that the bankruptcy court discharged all of his debts, he is able to recall the alleged events.”

So basically, Bryan Singer was directing the Queen movie, heard about the allegations, then left a hole in the set like Wile E. Coyote to run to his lawyer. Also, his show The Gifted sucks. Runaways is far superior has more likeable characters.

 

  Earlier this month, director Bryan Singer was directing the Queen biopic, Bohemian Rhapsody, then just left one day and didn’t come back. Then the production shut down “due to…

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Jessica Chastain’s Game Did The ‘Molly’s Game’ Premiere In MadridBy toddDecember 06, 2017
Jessica Chastain’s Game Did The ‘Molly’s Game’ Premiere In Madrid

 

I haven’t seen Molly’s Game, so somebody let me know if it has a scene where Jessica Chastain walks on a red carpet at some event. That movie would be called Cleavage Game haha I kid, but seriously, she has nice breasts. Hopefully that’s okay to say in this environment. I know her body isn’t a commodity and she has smart brain and she’s a very talented actor and whatnot, but boobs are great. Everyone likes them. Boobs are gender neutral in their ability to be liked and stuff. Boobs. Say it with me.

 

  I haven’t seen Molly’s Game, so somebody let me know if it has a scene where Jessica Chastain walks on a red carpet at some event. That movie would…

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Quentin Tarantino Is Doing ‘Star Trek’By toddDecember 05, 2017
Quentin Tarantino Is Doing ‘Star Trek’

 

We should know by now to expect anything from 2017. Besides being the darkest timeline, 2017 has some cool shit. Like Quentin Tarantino writing and directing a Star Trek movie. Per Deadline:

Quentin Tarantino is also planning to boldly go where he has not gone before. Sources said that Tarantino has come up with a great idea for a Star Trek movie at Paramount. After sharing his idea with JJ Abrams (who himself is busy prepping Star Wars Episode IX), I’ve heard the plan is to assemble a writers room of scribes who’ll hear Tarantino’s take and begin to put together a movie. If it all works out, Tarantino might direct it, with Abrams producing.

Obviously, a bunch of Star Trek nerds whined on Twitter, but based on every other Star Trek movie, the nerds should be on their knees thanking Tarantino for demeaning himself to make this crap. Because, 1.) the story is gonna be great, 2.) several people will die violently, and 3.) the crew will go back in time to the 70s where Samuel L. Jackson can learn several racial slurs.

Here’s an interview from earlier this year where Tarantino basically workshopped his own Star Trek movie in his manic, off the rails speaking style.

 

  We should know by now to expect anything from 2017. Besides being the darkest timeline, 2017 has some cool shit. Like Quentin Tarantino writing and directing a Star Trek…

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Margot Robbie Shaded The DCEUBy toddDecember 04, 2017
Margot Robbie Shaded The DCEU

 

We can all agree that, with the exception of Wonder Woman being just okay, the current state of the DC Extended Universe is a dumpster fire inside a volcano. Even if you’re a fan, I’m not sure how you can look at these movies and think that’s the best they could do. Like Suicide Squad, which was a probably a real movie at one point until Warner Bros. panicked and fucked it up. Speaking of Suicide Squad, Margot Robbie was the best part of that movie. That’s not even up for debate. If DCEU wants to keep her, they might want to listen to what she has to say. She tells Metro UK:

“In my opinion a good producer trusts their director, and their job is to enable that director’s vision. That’s it. That’s your job. If that’s your director’s vision you need to do everything in your power to make that possible. And I think that’s a wonderful thing.” “In the DC Universe, too, once you decide on who your director is, and they have a vision, you have to enable that vision and step in at moments to keep it on course if need be. I think that’s the way. I think that’s what a producer should do.”

Wow, can you imagine?  Hiring somebody whose stuff you like then getting the fuck out of their way and letting them continuing do stuff you like? Pretty crazy. They should do that for everybody except Zack Snyder. Because when I think of Superman, I think of a creepy alien questioning his existence in a dark, miserable CG nightmare.

 

  We can all agree that, with the exception of Wonder Woman being just okay, the current state of the DC Extended Universe is a dumpster fire inside a volcano….

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The ‘Avengers: Infinity War’ Trailer Is HereBy toddNovember 29, 2017
The ‘Avengers: Infinity War’ Trailer Is Here

 

The trailer for the 4,783rd Marvel movie, Avengers: Infinity War, dropped this morning and it has all the Avengers from all the other movies in it. I guess that’s cool. I’ve watched it twice and it looks okay. It’s not DC, so at least I’ll be able to expect a coherent story and CG that doesn’t look like a 1996 video game. Will I care about anybody involved when they fight a giant, purple Josh Brolin? Probably not. But Captain America has a beard now and that means he’s edgy or something. Anyway, this movie will make a billion dollars and the Justice League sequel will be exactly like this but worse, so let’s all wait for that.

 

  The trailer for the 4,783rd Marvel movie, Avengers: Infinity War, dropped this morning and it has all the Avengers from all the other movies in it. I guess that’s…
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Margot Robbie Did The Gotham AwardsBy toddNovember 28, 2017
Margot Robbie Did The Gotham Awards

 

Margot Robbie attended the Gotham Awards last night and it looks like some Tonya Harding was left behind on her face. What’s happening here? She also looks about 20 pounds lighter. She looks like the ghost of Margot Robbie who died because the NARCAN was late. I need answers.

 

  Margot Robbie attended the Gotham Awards last night and it looks like some Tonya Harding was left behind on her face. What’s happening here? She also looks about 20…

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‘Justice League’ Had A PremiereBy toddNovember 14, 2017
‘Justice League’ Had A Premiere

 

Bless their hearts. People who were involved in Justice League held a red carpet premiere in Hollywood last night. It’d be cool to know how good the movie is like we did a week before Wonder Woman came out, but Rotten Tomatoes is delaying the reveal of this movie’s score. Fun fact: Warner Bros owns Rotten Tomatoes. So I guess they’re not trying to self own themselves before the movie actually comes out. Anyway, Gal Gadot looked hot as hell. Amber Heard looked hot as hell kinda. Ray Fisher just looks happy to be there. Enjoy before DC fans attack critics on Twitter and tell you that you don’t understand Snyder’s vision.

 

  Bless their hearts. People who were involved in Justice League held a red carpet premiere in Hollywood last night. It’d be cool to know how good the movie is…

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