NBC has a new show coming out called Bright Futures. Here’s how Varietydescribes it:
“….a group of friends all stumbling through the transition from the clueless, immature twentysomethings they are now to the successful professionals they’re destined to be. In addition, Lisa Kudrow will serve as the show’s narrator.”
So basically Friends. It’s gonna star Emily Ratajkowski, Lilly Singh, Shameik Moore, Jimmy Tatro, and Calum Worthy. Pretty diverse cast! But it’s “Hollywood diverse” in the sense they cast a bunch of black and brown people but three white guys will write the show. BUT HERE’S HOW EMILY RATAJKOWSKI‘S CHARACTER IS DESCRIBED:
Ratajkowski will play Sarah, described as a girl-next-door type but also with a behind-the-ear tattoo. She can just as easily bro out with the guys as she can be the girliest girl.
lol what. Now, I’m not sure what types of women the casting director lives next door to, but if Emily Ratajkowski is what Hollywood thinks is a “girl next door”, I don’t know what they’d cast you as girl reading this. A white walker? Something haunting a house? I think this show might be perpetuating damaging girl next door beauty standards. MY COLUMN:
We all miss Whitney Houston. Not only did we lose a legendary singer and icon, we also lost our best defense against a huge rock hurtling towards Earth. We wouldn’t even ask for the receipts. Just go handle it, Whitney. You’re our only hope. But as you recall, she overdosed in a bathtub in 2012 with like 87 things in her systems, and her biggest hit was, “I Will Always Love You.” Lorde posted this pic on Instagram yesterday.
Okay, granted, maybe not the best caption. But obviously, a second of critical thinking could make you understand what she meant, but you also have to remember she posted this on the Internet. Critical thinking doesn’t exist there. So, naturally, people who haven’t thought about Whitney Houston since she died went apeshit and Lorde had to publicly flog herself because she posted that she loved her bathtub.
“Extremely extremely poorly chosen quote,” she wrote. “I’m so sorry for offending anyone — I hadn’t even put this together I was just excited to take a bath. I’m an idiot. Love Whitney forever and ever. Sorry again.”
That’s right, Lorde. Fall on your damn knees and beg for forgiveness from people who will have moved on to the next thing they’re clutching their pearls over before you even finish writing your apology. Sorry your nice bath was interrupted.
We all miss Whitney Houston. Not only did we lose a legendary singer and icon, we also lost our best defense against a huge rock hurtling towards Earth. We…
When Republicans throw up a candidate who has no business of winning, Democrats pretty much abandon their base and attempt to copy that model in order to get a win since they don’t know how to do that. Like Conor Lamb, the former Marine, pro-gun, anti-abortion, “Democrat.” As long as a candidate had a (D) in front of their name, that’s all that matters. It doesn’t matter if they vote with Republicans most of the time or not. Like Doug Jones, the dude who barely won against a child molester. Then when people thought Oprah was going to run, it was met with, “YASSS QUEEN,” even though the same people had spent two years saying a television personality with no political experience was unfit for office. Anyway, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson is on the latest cover of Rolling Stone, so that means he was interviewed. They asked him about the rumor that he plans to run for President. He made a good point.
“I think in a lot of people’s minds, what Trump has proved is that anybody can run for president,” Johnson says. “And in a lot of people’s minds, what he’s also proved is that not everybody should run for president. What I’m sensing now is that we have to pivot back to people who have a deep-rooted knowledge of American history and politics and experience in policy and how laws get made. I think that pivot has to happen.”
Pretty much. The problem with America’s belief that anybody has the chance to be President means that anybody has the chance to be President. That sounds great and all until a corporate spokesman or board member of Goldman Sachsrunning. Or, you know, Trump. The Rock then basically said he plans to Run for President at some point.
“Republicans, Democrats, independents, mayors, strategists, you name it. Just soaking in and listening. Trying to learn as much as I possibly can. I entertain the thought, and thank you, I’m so flattered by it. But I feel like the best thing I can do now is, give me years. Let me go to work and learn.”
Great. Obviously I wouldn’t tell The Rock why him running would be a horrible idea because I prefer my spine inside my body, so if you’re reading this, Dwayne, may I call you Dwayne? Please don’t do it. I mean, I guess do it if you make Air Force One a helicopter to stay more on brand. But, if he decides to run, he might hit a snag.
“At the time, I just felt like it was either vote for the [candidate] I thought would make a better president than the other, even though I would rather have someone else, or not vote at all. I wrestled back and forth with it. We were on the set of Jumanji in Hawaii, and it really was like calling on the gods. Give me the answer. Ultimately, it was [to not vote].”
He didn’t vote for Hillary? Well, shit. Apparently he’s a sexist. And obviously he’s racist despite being black and Samoan, according to what white woman blue checkmark and Hillary stans tell us because they refuse to believe she generally sucks. So, good luck to you, The Rock. I hope you win, because nothing really matters anyway.
Emily Ratajkowski is always in bikini, and I didn’t think it would be easy to improve on that, but then she posted this picture on Instagram. She might be the perfect woman. I really don’t think it’s up for debate at this point. The only thing that could change my mind is if she’s vegan and starts saying YouTube is demonetizing her videos. That would tell me instantly that she’s a member of the NRA.
Channing Tatum and Jenna Dewan have been married so long I forgot they were married, but it looks like they aren’t gonna be married anymore. People tells me they met in 2006 and Jenna hyphenated her name in 2009. Anyway, they’re separating/divorcing as told by this weird Instagram post they put up last night.
Lots of things going on in that post. A super happy greeting, a Trump dig, what looks to be quadruple spacing, and the fact that Channing refers to himself as “Chan.” Look, they’ve been together for eleven years and married for nine, and this isn’t like 1950 where you have to marry someone when you’re 20 then die with them. I’m sure they love each other and whatever, but nobody is the same person eleven years later. Shit changes. You change. Be happy apart instead of miserable together. I am now a marriage counselor. Please contact me for all your marriage counseling needs.
Hey, remember Demi Rose? I used to post about her a lot, because damn. During our journey we found out that she might be an escort. That’s fine, whatever she wants to do. The economy is pretty bad. Hopefully she doesn’t also have to drive Uber part-time. So, her 23rd birthday was a few days ago and here are some pics from that night. I feel Demi Rose is what Ariel Winter thinks she looks like, but nobody has the heart to tell her she doesn’t. I’ll stop typing now. I hope this photo gallery finds you well.
Not gonna lie, I thought this was Kesha at first, but then I realized I’ve seen Kesha without makeup before and this picture was more attractive than that, so I thought it was Kesha without makeup that they somehow photoshopped. Then I clicked on the post and found out it was Christina Aguilera without makeup for Paper Magazine. Then I got kind of interested because Paper usually puts up women who are naked then I realized it was just Kim Kardashian because she won’t approve of any picture unless she’s naked. By the time I downloaded these pictures I was already bored, so now you can we can all be bored together.
A lot of you hit me up on Twitter about these pics of Ariel Winter at The Last Movie Star premiere because of the dress she had on, but what else would we expect Ariel Winter to wear? She understands who the stars of the show are, dude. So I looked at the pics and realized Burt Reynolds is in the movie, so that means he also went to the premiere. Ariel Winter seems like she wished he hadn’t. What’s going on here? Burt Reynolds looks like he would pay Ariel $130,000 so he could talk about it. You gotta chill, Burt.
The highly-publicized Stormy Daniels60 Minutes interview was last night, and I had high hopes it would be as big as her pupils (what’s up with those, btw?) , but it was just whatever. Reading Twitter before the interview was more fun, because I got to see people on the right claiming cheating on your wife with a porn star is no big deal and people on the left claiming marriage is the holiest of sacred bonds and any elected official who violates that is a threat to democracy. It was hilarious. Anway, Daniels reportedly signed a $130,000 NDA, but she went on national television and risked legal action and fines to not really tell a story. Per CNN:
Daniels didn’t reveal evidence of the alleged affair with Trump, but continued to hint that she isn’t yet revealing all she has. Asked if she has videos, pictures, emails or text messages that corroborate the affair, Daniels said, “I can’t answer that right now.“
Then why gather us all here, Stormy? Also, what’s going on with your eyebrows? You have $130,000, get those hooked up. She also said she let Trump hit it raw (that’s his thing apparently) even though she wasn’t attracted to him. It’s unclear if she thought that would make Trump look like a monster with men in the 18-dead demographic. Like, why was this aired? A porn star claiming that she had consensual sex with Trump might be the best news he’s had since 2015. A hotter porn star would have made this better news, but still. You understand what I’m saying.