Remember when people lost their shit because they thought Zendaya would be playing Mary Jane because MARY JANE IS WHITE NOT BLACK AND OMG THIS MEANS WHITE GENOCIDE HANG ON FOR ONE SEC THANKS FOR THE WARNING OFFICER I WON’T DRIVE WITH DRUGS IN THE CAR AGAIN BUT BACK TO WHAT I WAS SAYING ABOUT WHITE GENOCIDE. That was weird. Turns out she’s not playing Mary Jane, so the integrity of the comic book about a dude in a leotard getting bit by a magic spider remains intact. We really avoided a national nightmare and panic in the streets there. But Peter Parker has crush on a girl in the new movie and she’s a hot black chick SO HOLD ON WE MUST TAKE TO THE STREETS AND BOYCOTT MARVEL OMG WHITE PEOPLE. Typing in all caps is fun. I can see why people on the Internet do it. Also, I know the movie is called Spider-Man: Homecoming, but “Zendaya Did The Spider-Man: Homecoming Premiere” wouldn’t fit on a single line. Is that ok with you? Don’t tell me how o do my job. That’s racist.