Much like all of Twitter aspires to be, Tomi Lahren is a paid professional troll who only gets attention because my fellow liberals love to set outrage hose to self-righteous indignation and blast everything with the blood of a Slate article. Last Friday, the went on The View and said she was pro-choice. She works for The Blaze, so obviously that’s heresy and they suspended her.
Leon Wolf, the managing editor of The Blaze, told CNNMoney only that “Tomi’s show will not be in production this week.” Reached by email late Monday, Lahren said she couldn’t address the matter. “Wish I could comment but I can’t,” she said.
After this happened, I hoped on Twitter and waited for the “support all women” Twitter takes, but lol that didn’t happen because you should only support women who agree with you politically on every single thing or they are harlots who should be shunned and forced sit in a corner to think about their white privilege or internalized misogyny or the show they like that uses coded racist music or whatever deem the moral high ground at the time. What you shouldn’t do, under any circumstances, is say “hey, she agrees on a topic I care about, maybe this is a chance to understand that everyone is different and won’t agree on everything all the time like I imagine in my peaceful liberal, Nordic utopia that I have planned for America right after I firebomb this Starbucks.” You shouldn’t do that. You should burn her alive at the stake for other things she said. It’s the only way we can come together as one. What you don’t want to do is find out what else you and Tomi Lahren have in common. Like, Tomi and Bernie Sanders. Both like to yell and hear themselves talk. Imagine the possibilities. Sidenote: My penis has no political affiliation, so knowing Tomi Lahren is pro-choice, make me happy for two reasons. How you doin, boo?