Katy Perry And Orlando Bloom On Are A Break If You Believe That Kinda Thing

Katy Perry

 

Hey, Katy Perry and Orlando Bloom haven’t taken a break from their year long relationship. That means they broke up and feel the need to publicly drag this out.

“Before rumors or falsifications get out of hand, we can confirm that Orlando and Katy are taking respectful, loving space at this time,” a statement to PEOPLE from both of their reps reads. The couple dated for a little over a year.

Man, glad they cleared that up before “rumors or falsifications get out of hand. Unlike Orlando Bloom’s penis that was probably in the hand of this chick at a pre-Oscars party. Just to warn you, that chick isn’t Katy Perry. I can’t speculate on Orlando Bloom’s game, but he banged Selena Gomez and got this pregnant. Katy Perry is 32, kind of annoying,  and looks like her left eye is finally gonna melt off after years of teasing us. A year with Orlando probably exceeded Taylor Swift’s voodoo doll’s expectations. Eh, there’s always John Mayer or a DJ.

 

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