Taylor Swift has started a new chapter in her own princess, fairy tale book by announcing to the world that she’s dating Tom Hiddleston with some of the most ridiculously staged photos I’ve ever seen. Like, just read the article.
The pictures were taken on the rocky stretch of Misquamicut beach by her £12m mansion in Watch Hill, Rhode Island…Dressed casually and both wearing black sunglasses, they walk hand in hand to a group of rocks overlooking the water. They sit down and chivalrous Tom takes off his jacket and puts it around chilly Taylor’s shoulders. They then passionately kiss before documenting the moment in a series of selfies on their mobile phones. Afterwards, they appear to re-create a dance move as Taylor helps the heartthrob climb down the rocks. She then grips her new lover around the waist as they continue their romantic afternoon.
Holy. Fucking. Shit. How many drafts did this go through before Taylor Swift dipper her unicorn hair quill in some glitter ink and signed off? Anyway, Taylor Swift and Tom Hiddleston danced at the MET Gala on May 2, the she announced her breakup with Calvin Harris a month later. As for Calvin?
We’re told, “He’s pissed and feels betrayed by her.”
So either Taylor stayed wet for the whole month of May and couldn’t take it anymore, or she and Calvin were having problems that Calvin didn’t know about. (Tip to all you young fellas: women break up with you in their heads months before they actually break up with you). Either way, Taylor Swift and Tom Hiddleston are now dating, I guess. They couldn’t be more white and stiff if they were buried together.
Again, I will post these until I’m told to stop.