It’ll be about two weeks before your Aunt Linda goes megaton in a Facebook post about this that might include a meme with a picture of wounded veteran whose name she just learned that day. The veteran might have blades for legs or an overly complicated wheelchair, so prepare for the worst.
Caitlyn Jenner will appear on a summer cover of Sports Illustrated wearing “nothing but an American flag and her Olympic medal,” a source reveals in the latest issue of Us Weekly. The 66-year-old I Am Cait star (formerly known as Bruce) set a world decathlon record at the 1976 Montreal Summer Games. To celebrate the 40th anniversary of her win, she’ll pose with her gold medal for the first time post-transition, adds the source: “She’s excited about that.”
Dude. Holy shit. Christians found out that North Carolina’s HB2 violates the Civil Rights Act and that Sports Illustrated asked a trans woman to wear an American flag on the same day. Now I don’t want to tell anybody what they should do, but if I was a pastor, I’d definitely tell the wife that she could start measuring for a pool. And to pick up more rubber bands the next time she swings by Office Max. Because daddy’s gonna need ’em, sweetie, ok? You don’t worry your pretty head about that. Maybe God will see fit to bless you with the new boobs I talked you into last week.