Kylie Jenner’s Paper Magazine Interview Is Pretty Much What You’d Expect

Kylie Jenner

If you were under the impression that Kylie Jenner is a vapid and soulless empty void lacking any semblance of self-awareness who is propped up by her family to generate revenue, then you’re really gonna dig her “interview” with Paper Magazine. Because, well, holy shit. 

Whatever your thoughts about the Kardashian-Jenner family (you probably know ours — #BreakTheInternet), even the most snot-nosed cynic would be hard-pressed to deny that they’re a family of survivors. And not just survivors — thrivers.

That was the opening paragraph. That’s what they went with for this. It doesn’t get any better. Or maybe it does depending on what your definition for “better” is. Let’s start with the hard-hitting questions. 

@elijahmccoy: What is the biggest misconception you think people have about you?

@kyliejenner: Probably that I’m just super fake and that at 16/17, I got my full face reconstructed and that I only care about materialistic things.

Yes, people should stop saying she reconstructed her face. Total misconception. It’s completely natural for a face to go from this to this in two years. It must be hard having everyone be jealous of her totally real not fake at all exquisite beauty. 

@jasonwu: What do you day dream about?

@kyliejenner: I day dream about when I can get to a place in my life where I can be off the radar.

Exactly. If her family is known for anything, it’s their desire to “be off the radar”. Obviously they can’t with the paparazzi constantly shoving cameras in their face at the agreed upon locations and the media publishing stories day after day after they remove Kris Jenner’s email signature. They just want to live a quiet life. Leave them alone. 

@kcoopy: If you could be any sister for 24 hours, who would you be?

@kyliejenner: I would probably be Kim just to try on all her clothes and go through her closet.

You said it. Every 18-year old woman dreams of one day being a different person so they can stand in a closet all day trying on clothes. It’s her sister. She can’t just text her and ask if she could do this. She has to physically transform into Kim to try on her clothes instead of just showing up to her house and doing the same thing. Levels.  

@jenatkinhair: How does it feel to be considered a worldwide style and beauty icon for generation Z?

@kyliejenner: It’s really crazy. I never really think about it until I’ll do a hair color and then I’ll see all my fans in the same hair color. It’s just crazy how much influence I have. It’s cool.

I agree. It’s crazy how much influence you and your family has over people. What with your hair dye and all. The effects of your influence will felt for thousands of years in scripted reality shows, sex tape distribution, manipulated media leaks, prime time marriage specials for quick cash grabs, sweatshop productivity, advances in Photoshop and plastic surgery, and outside the box ways to expand your brand after your father defends a murderer. You and your family have brought so much light and positive change into the world, and we all thank you for it. 

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