Jennifer Garner Dropped “Bless His Heart” On Ben Affleck’s Bitch Ass

Jennifer Garner


In the new issue of Vanity Fair, Jennifer Garner talked publicly for the first time about her split with Ben Affleck (he had instant regret) Please keep in mind, she’s from the South. If you read closely, you can almost see the hair flip. You can read the full interview over at Popsugar, but here’s a few highlights. Including the on where the hair flip swung and dropped the goddamn hammer directly on Ben Affleck’s soul.


Jenner Garner is is smart and understands that things aren’t always about you:

“It’s not Ben’s job to make me happy. The main thing is these kids — and we’re completely in line with what we hope for them. Sure, I lost the dream of dancing with my husband at my daughter’s wedding. But you should see their faces when he walks through the door. And if you see your kids love someone so purely and wholly, then you’re going to be friends with that person.”

Ben Affleck is an asshole most of the time:

“He’s the most brilliant person in any room, the most charismatic, the most generous. He’s just a complicated guy. I always say, ‘When his sun shines on you, you feel it.’ But when the sun is shining elsewhere, it’s cold. He can cast quite a shadow.”

Stop. Hammer time:

She wants nothing to do with Ben’s massive back tattoo: “You know what we would say in my hometown [Charleston, WV] about that? ‘Bless his heart.’ A phoenix rising from the ashes. Am I the ashes in this scenario? I take umbrage. I refuse to be the ashes.”

If you’re unfamiliar with the expression “bless his heart”/”bless your heart”, it’s when a Southern woman smiles and looks you directly in your face calls you a fucking idiot who should be cleaved from the herd for the betterment of mankind. And you can’t even be mad, because they usually smell really good and more than likely just got back from a five hour salon trip. And 9 times out of 10, their hand is rubbing your arm. However, “bless his heart” isn’t to be mistaken for “awww he’s touched”, which still remains the nicest way to describe an actual mentally challenged person. 



[ source Vanity Fair ]

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