I really don’t understand any of this, or why people don’t think the Captain America costume looks dumb as hell, but we have another Marvel movie. This time its Captain America: Civil War. From what I can tell, Captain America really wants to help this dude named Bucky. His one black friend also wants to help, but he has a few concerns. His goggles appearing too tight don’t see to be one of them. Then Captain America’s boss is like, “don’t do it, bro” then Captain America says, ‘imma do it” then Black Widow calls him and says “dude, you need to dodge this bullshit” then Captain America says “nuh uh” and Black Widow replies “uh huh” then Iron Man shows up and says “don’t test me, bitch” but Captain America tests him then Iron Man says “I thought we was fraaaannnsss” then Captain America says “yeah, but me and this Bucky dude go way back and my black friend has wings so we’re thinking about fighting you because we have two hours to hours to fill” then Iron Man says “cool, I’ll team up with these people over here” then Captain America says, “well, I’ll team up with these people over here but like three of them don’t like, have any powers or anything that except maybe Scarlet Witch and we need to give her a lot more screen time because she’s gonna take over the franchise when we get too old” then Iron Man says “Makes sense, and while we’re on the topic, I shouldn’t phone in my performance in this one because I think most of the budget is me” then Hawkeye says “hey, guys that was me in the trailer right there! Did you see me? Go back. Ok, pause! That’s me! I’m totally in this movie”. Then Captain America and that Bucky dude jump Iron Man like bitches then they show the title of the movie.
Be sure to buy a ticket. Robert Downey, Jr. doesn’t have an infinity pool in all his guest bedrooms yet.