Sofia Vergara is on the May 2015 cover of Vanity Fair. See? Look up. That’s totally her! I guess I really didn’t need to point that out. Jesus, Todd. So stupid! Just move on. Everybody knows it’s her, you idiot. This is why your father left. Kill yourself.
“My boobs are, like, huge.” She gives a representation of said hugeness with her hands. “My whole life, buying a bra was a nightmare. What I used to do when I moved to L.A., I found places like Frederick’s of Hollywood that make bras for [strippers].” She adds, “Believe me, I wish I had fake boobs. I lay down and they completely go down like all the way, like here.” Another representation with her hands. “It’s not fun.”
Like do we even want to imagine a world where Sofia Vergara doesn’t look like Sofia Vergara? This is what ISIS wants. I would say this is what the aliens want but we don’t aliens’ concepts of beauty. Or if “beauty” is even a thing where the live. And where do aliens live? I’ve always wondered about that. But I think they’d be pretty upset regardless if Sofia Vergara didn’t have Sofia Vergara. Also, no matter how hot a woman is, she’ll find something she hates about herself then focus on that until it’s an all-consuming thought no amount of compliments will solve. Maybe when the aliens come they can change that. We should really invest more in science instead of saying Moses is founding father and giving money to Fast and Furious franchise.