If there’s anybody who should get down on their knees every single day and night and thank Jesus for committing suicide, it’s Britney Spears. She’s kinda dumb, can’t sing, can’t really dance, and really doesn’t have anything that brings any semblance of substance to the world except maybe her ass in 2001. But for some reason, she gets paid $310,000 PER SHOW during her current run at the Las Vegas Planet Hollywood. Yes, you read that right. Anyway, she was performing last night and did some kind of kick thing then immediately sprained her ankle. And fell down. And didn’t get up. I think her ankle reminded her that she’s 33 and has children at home.