Okay, let’s get this over with. You’ve probably seen on Facebook and Twitter by now that “FIRST PLUS-SIZED MODEL TO APPEAR IN SI SWIMSUIT ISSUE!”. Technically, yes. But in reality, Ashley Graham will appear in an ad that happens to be in the 2015 SI Swimsuit Issue (which SI gladly cashed the check for so they could get the warm, feel-good publicity) Good for her. Clearly this chick has a gorgeous face, but let’s be real for second. The bikini doesn’t even fit. And clearly she’s overweight. You can say “healthy” or “curves” or whatever we’re calling overweight now, but it doesn’t change the fact that she’s overweight. Also, I hate to be the one to be the one to shatter this myth for you, but there isn’t an “ideal body type”. The only ideal body type is one that doesn’t run the risk of type 2 diabetes and heart disease. Your mind is telling you no, but her visceral stomach fat is telling you yes. Look, I totally get body shaming is bad and all that, but we’re gonna prop her up as a hero yet tell Alessandra Ambrosio to eat a cheeseburger? That’s not progress to me. That’s projecting. You know why Hannah Davis is on magazine covers? Because Hannah Davis is a unicorn. We can all agree that we all like looking at unicorns. But if you wanted to see an Ashley Graham, all you have to do is walk into any Chipotle or Target near a college campus. Yes, men body shame women and women body shame women. The difference is, when I look in the mirror, I’m not really concerned with what Channing Tatum looks like with his shirt off. His abs have no bearing on my self-worth. On the other hand, if seeing Ashley Graham in a bikini makes you feel better about yourself, then by all means, feel good about yourself. And if you look like Ashley in a bikini, rock that shit. You deserve it. Actually, nobody deserves shit, because this world is a vicious, cruel place, but maybe a good first step in stopping this whole body image thing would be if women’s first reaction to seeing Miranda Kerr in a bikini wasn’t jealously and ripping themselves to shreds by comparing themselves to someone who obviously won the genetic lottery. You two just absorb pizza differently. And that’s perfectly fine. But you might want to lay off all that bread. Or don’t. Totally up to you.
Also, kudos to these two amazing male actors. They really sold it, because this ad tries way to damn hard.