The 72nd Annual Golden Globes

Unless you were being held captive in a place without wi-fi, you probably already know the 72nd Golden Globes were last night, and I’m not gonna spend too much time on it, I’ll just give you everything you need to know so when people ask you about it at work, you’ll have the bullet points:

 

1. Only feminist comedians can make rape jokes

2. George Clooney now has something to hold when he’s holding Amal Clooney’s purse

3. Michael Keaton’s son wrote songs for Jason Derulo

4. A white family’s 12-year ordeal is this year’s 12 Years A Slave

5. Jennifer Lopez wears the same dress to everything

6. Common and Michael Keaton made the best acceptance speeches

7. Jennifer Aniston didn’t win anything

8. Eddie Guccimane won Best Actor, because he had pretend ALS

9. Meryl Streep looked high af

10. Everybody was sweating

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