The 2015 Oscars Nominations Were Announced

Oscars

 

Sup? Oscar nominations were announced this morning, and in certain parts of the country, American Sniper is basically Passion of Christ, so they have to be happy about that bc WHITE MILITARY JESUS KILLED IRAQI CHILDREN FOR OUR SINS THEN MADE A BUNCH OF SHIT UP. Anyway, here’s my predictions:

 

Best Picture
“American Sniper”
“Birdman”
“Boyhood”
“The Grand Budapest Hotel”
“The Imitation Game”
“Selma”
“The Theory of Everything”
“Whiplash”

 

PREDICTION: Birdman.

American Sniper and Boyhood are great fictional documentaries, but have you seen Birdman?

 

Actor in a Leading Role
Steve Carell, “Foxcatcher”
Bradley Cooper, “American Sniper”
Benedict Cumberbatch, “The Imitation Game”
Michael Keaton, “Birdman”
Eddie Redmayne, “The Theory of Everything”

 

PREDICTION: Eddie Redmayne. The Academy loves them some white ppl with diseases. Jake Gyllenhaal was fucking robbed.

 

Actress in a Leading Role
Marion Cotillard, “Two Days One Night”
Felicity Jones, “The Theory of Everything”
Julianne Moore, “Still Alice”
Rosamund Pike, “Gone Girl”
Reese Witherspoon, “Wild”

 

PREDICTION: Don’t really care.

 

Actor in a Supporting Role
Robert Duvall, “The Judge”
Ethan Hawke, “Boyhood”
Edward Norton, “Birdman”
Mark Ruffalo, “Foxcatcher”
J.K. Simmons, “Whiplash”

 

PREDICTION: J.K. Simmons. This is not even close or up for debate.

 

Actress in a Supporting Role
Patricia Arquette, “Boyhood”
Laura Dern, “Wild”
Emma Stone, “Birdman”
Keira Knightley, “The Imitation Game”
Meryl Streep, “Into the Woods”

 

PREDICTION: Meryl Streep. Prediction Meryl Streep is like predicting the 1995-1996 Chicago Bulls.

 

Directing
Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu, “Birdman”
Richard Linklater, “Boyhood”
Bennett Miller, “Foxcatcher”
Wes Anderson, “The Grand Budapest Hotel”
Morten Tyldum, “The Imitation Game”

 

PREDICTION: Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu. Because bruh.

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