Taylor Swift, our reigning flawless bisexual possible lesbian queen, managed to avoid the gravitational pull of Leonardo DiCaprio’s penis, because instead of Art Basel, she went to the Jingle Bell Ball instead. And she wore this dress. Whatever she wears you want to rip it off, because I’m pretty sure her vagina smells like cotton candy and tastes like bubble gum. Unlike yours. Yours is gross. What is that smell? Is that you?