I thought Cosmo had women on the cover usually, but Khloe Kardashian in on the February 2015 cover, and inside she talks about how she likes to cuddle rather than have sex. I realize she’s saying what she thinks a human woman would say, because much like any sentient, escaped government experiment, she must blend in and survive. I get that. I’m not posting the cover, because they put Khloe’s head on somebody else, so I thought I’d post actual pictures of her instead. Pictures where she still believes she’s sexy and undetectable to actual humans. I feel like I should point out that, despite the myth, Khloe does not carry water in her ass. The ass is a mound of fat, and can weigh up to 80 to 85 pounds. The hump allows Khloe to survive an extremely long time (up to two weeks) without food if need be.