Kendall Jenner Hates Jesus

Kendall Jenner

 

Christmas is about celebrating the birth of a man who wasn’t born in December while simultaneously trying not to go into debt over forced consumerism or remembering it’s the highest suicide rate of the year, because you have to buy your whole family expensive shit even though Jesus only got some oil and some cologne and some gold his parents probably pawned because their kid was sleeping on hay and goat shit and maybe to get Mary into therapy because God Billy Cosby’d her while she was sleeping. Any possibly some anger management for Joseph, because he was all like, “bitch, what?”.  Then an angel came down and was like, “bro, chill lol, we didn’t even have to tell you tbh but take care of this kid anyway. btw some people are coming to kill it so I’d probably leave imo”. Then Joseph said, “k”. And then they left. Then nothing happened for 30 years then Jesus did some stuff with a bunch of dudes then he died.  Then 2,000 and something years later Kendall Jenner is bent over in lingerie in a Santa Hat. I’m not seeing the connection.

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