I thought for a second Taylor Swift fucked her spray tan at the 2014 AMAs, but then I realized she’s a flawless beauty who looks perfect at all times and this is just how her dress is supposed to look. I didn’t watch the AMAs last night, but I knew she would probably win something, because have you listened to the radio lately? If so, why are you doing that? Why do you hate yourself? You should learn to love yourself. I just like Taylor Swift at award shows because at some point she’ll be in the press room holding a phallic symbol next to her face. That’s something that I enjoy a great deal.