Taylor Swift‘s interview in this month’s issue of Rolling Stone pretty much confirms everything you need to know about Taylor Swift. She’s legit crazy. Not normal girl crazy, like for real. But if she was ever sent to death row for killing a boyfriend, the Governor would commute her sentence, because she’s mentally slow and more than likely has the brain development of a 8-year old. Anyway, since she hasn’t dated anyone since Harry Styles, she can’t really fill any more of her platinum selling burn books with shit about dudes anymore, she wrote a song about Katy Perry. Oohh, drama!
According to the magazine, Swift has this to say about the unidentified female celebrity: “For years, I was never sure if we were friends or not. She would come up to me at awards shows and say something and walk away, and I would think, ‘Are we friends, or did she just give me the harshest insult of my life? [Then last year] she did something so horrible. I was like, ‘Oh, we’re just straight-up enemies.’ And it wasn’t even about a guy!” Swift further explained: “It had to do with business. … She basically tried to sabotage an entire arena tour. She tried to hire a bunch of people out from under me. And I’m surprisingly non-confrontational — you would not believe how much I hate conflict. So now I have to avoid her. It’s awkward, and I don’t like it.”
So how do we know this about Katy Perry? Because Katy Perry’s Google alerts informed her then she tweeted this. So who really wins here? Nobody. The answer is nobody. This is a fight between an asexual sociopath and a record label created abomination who has a song on the radio right now that rhymes “Japanese-y” with “Mariah Carey”. Let’s put Katy Perry’s top half on Taylor Swift’s bottom half so we can all win. Also, while they’re both under, fix Katy’s weird left eye.