Here’s Britney Spears Without Auto-Tune

Britney Spears

 

 

 

This really shouldn’t come as a surprise to anybody, but Britney Spears can’t sing for shit. So if you want to stare at your screen like you did when you first saw 2 Girls 1 Cup, go ahead and play this video of Britney singing “Alien” after she was obviously just hit with a drone in the throat. Explain it away producer guy!

Dearest Music Lovers, I have heard that Britney vocal link that everybody’s been discussing. It has been impossible not to as there have been many comments directing my attention to it. [I won’t re-posting it here]. I’d like to affirm that ANY singer when first at the mic at the start of a long session can make a multitude of vocalisations in order to get warmed up. Warming up is essential if you’re a pro, as it is with a runner doing stretches, and it takes a while to do properly. I’ve heard all manner of sounds emitted during warmups. The point is that it is not supposed to be shared with millions of listeners. A generous singer will put something down the mic to help the engineer get their systems warmed up and at the right level, maybe whilst having a cup of herb tea and checking through lyrics before the session really kicks off. It’s not expected to be a ‘take’. I think that 99% of you reading this will totally understand.

Ok, first off, Britney Spears ain’t drinking herbal tea. She’s chasing laxatives with a Sunkist frappucino, so you’ve lost credibilty here off top. Second, a “generous singer” can, you know, sing. That’s why they call them singers. Third, let’s not use a running metaphor to describe Britney Spears. She won’t understand what you’re talking about. And you really should have started this whole thing with “Attention Wal-Mart shoppers”.

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