Drunk Reese Witherspoon Is The Best Reese Witherspoon

 

We found out last year that Reese Witherspoon's image as America's sweetheart was basically Denzel Washington in Flight when he was in the hotel room and had to testify the next morning, because she likes to get turnt up on the regular. In this video, shot by model Cara Delevinge in an elevator at the MET Gala, a drunk Witherspoon charmingly bullies the whole elevator (which includes Kate Upton and Zooey Deschanel) then drops some sex advice.

"I love you Kara. Cara. I don't know what your fuckin' name is," says Reese in the video. "That's super French*," says Reese. "Delevingne," she purrs….."[You know] what's the most important thing in a name—for a girl? It's that a man can whisper it into his pillow."

This may seem weird and strange to some people, but Reese Withersppon is from the South, and this basically how every woman in the South acts, and there's really no defense for it. Are they talking shit about me? Why am I smiling though? Is she a bitch? Man, she looks really classy. Did she just make fun of my hair? God, I want to be her best friend.

 

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