"That new chick who showed up in my Snapchat top 3 is just a friend, baby. A friend I banged for a few weeks."
Oh, love. What a funny thing. E! online reports:
Katy Perry and John Mayer have called it quits. A source close to the pair exclusively tells E! News that Perry broke up with Mayer within the last few days. No other details about what prompted the "Dark Horse" singer's decision were forthcoming, but Mayer was noticeably absent from Perry's side on her recent trip to London and Milan. She returned home to Los Angeles on Friday. Despite some early ups and down, the musical pair fast became one of Hollywood's hottest couples, sweetly gushing about each other in interviews and collaborating on the song "Who You Love," off of Mayer's latest album, Paradise Valley.
John Mayer is a white dude with short hair and sleeve tattoos who is out of town a lot, and sometomes his job makes him be out of town for up to a year at a time. If Katy Perry thought he wasn't banging other people, then she doesn't just look and sound dumb, she's actually dumb. Because when you have a penis, it really doesn't matter how big your girlfriend's ass or boobs are, somebody in your general area have just as good or better. As it turns out, there's hot chicks in every city and country. Oh, I know! I couldn't believe myself.