There Are Lorde Birthers Now

Much like the conspiracy theorists who believed Obama wasn't an American because he has a job and works out, people are now convinced that a 16-year old couldn't have made such and amazing album like Pure Heroine. Of course, like many conspiracy theorists, these people are dumb. It's even gotten to the point that her birth certificate is now online. So let's go ahead and clear this up now: She's 17. Lorde is 17. Next year she'll be 18. Not Courtney Stodden 18, but actually 18. Sometimes people are just old souls and are inherently more talented than you. That doesn't mean there's some vast coverup going on to sell records. That only applies to Katy Perry who must listen to "Glory and Gore" then want to burn every copy of "Roar" and start over. But Todd, "Royals" sucks! No, you've just heard it a billion times. And it's the worst song on the album, so that's why it was big hit America. Christ. You people.

 

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