If you heard that loud noise yesterday, don't panic. It was just the sound of millions of vaginas screaming out then falling silent because Wentworth Miller announced he was gay. And in fabuous gay fashion, he came out in the most dramatic way possible by saying "GURL BYE" to the St. Petersburg International Film Festival because they hate gays in Russia more than Fox News hates poor people. GLAAD has the letter:
August 21, 2013
Re: St. Petersburg International Film Festival / "Guest of Honor" Invitation
Dear Ms. Averbakh:
Thank you for your kind invitation. As someone who has enjoyed visiting Russia in the past and can also claim a degree of Russian ancestry, it would make me happy to say yes.
However, as a gay man, I must decline.
I am deeply troubled by the current attitude toward and treatment of gay men and women by the Russian government. The situation is in no way acceptable, and I cannot in good conscience participate in a celebratory occasion hosted by a country where people like myself are being systematically denied their basic right to live and love openly.
Perhaps, when and if circumstances improve, I'll be free to make a different choice.
I mean, we kinda already knew this, right? We've all seen the dude. He's prettier than my last girlfriend. And she was pretty hot. Hopefully by the time my penis is too tired to care if I see a hot chick or not people coming out as gay won't be such a big deal so we can leave the ridicule for people who come out as vegan or post shit about CrossFit. Anyway, I really have nothing to say about this dude except that his creepy ass script for Stoker convinced Park Chan-wook to do his first English language film, so I wish him nothing but happiness in his gayness. According to my mom, "You know his boyfriend is happy. Damn."