The 40th American Music Awards were last night, and although they tend to be liberal with the word “music”, Carrie Underwood looked hot as hell. Mostly because everyone else looked like complete idiots. I might post some pics from last night, but right now I’m more concerned as to why nobody has impregnated Carrie Underwood yet. If this was 1955 she’d have like six by now. And have a prescription pill addiction. And she’s probably be making lunch. I’d like to return to those values that made America great.