While she’s trying to find a way to smother Robert Pattinson’s grief with her tits
barely four days after broke up with Kristen Stewart, Katy Perry
had to kick Lindsay Lohan
out of a party a few weeks ago because Lindsay is fucking creepy now. The Sun
KATY Perry wasn’t very welcoming to Lindsay Lohan when she tried to befriend her at a roller disco. Katy ordered pals to get rid of the actress at the party she threw for her stylist Johnny Wujek in California a couple of weeks back. A source said: “Lindsay followed Katy around trying to take a photo with her. Katy told her friends to keep her away as she was acting really weird.”
Like, does anything embarrass Lindsay? Seriously. Over the last five years has she ever sat down and said, “Damn. What the hell is wrong with me?”. Apparently not because she crashes parties and follows people around with a camera so she can put it online and pretend she has friends. You know, like you do on Facebook.
In her public apology to seemingly everyone, Kristen Stewart said her affair with the married director of Snow White and The Huntsman was a “momentary indiscretion”. I had to Google it, but that translates to, “this dude had his dick in me for six months LOL”. People UK reports:
…relatives of Rupert, 41, who saw her gazing adoringly at him during the premiere of Snow White and the Huntsman on May 29, suspect the affair went on much longer. Pictures have also emerged of the pair looking cosy in a restaurant in Berlin on May 15. Rupert’s actress-and-model wife Liberty Ross, 33, who plays Kristen’s mother in the Snow White movie and was at the premiere, believes the “fling” started during filming last year. Liberty’s younger brother Leopold, a British rock guitarist based in Los Angeles, insisted: “It was from the last half of filming and all through post-production, clear into last week.” Leopold revealed the anger felt by his sister, who met Rupert when she was a teenager and left Britain so her husband could make a career in Hollywood while she looked after children Sklya Lily, seven, and Tennyson, five. Leopold said: “She made some sacrifices for something she thought was worth it, now she knows, right? Five minutes from her home. “Doubt it was worth it but it’s life. It might actually make things better in the long run. She wasn’t that happy for a while, but our family is close, she’ll be all right.”
No official reason has been given as to why Stewart cheated other than she’s a huge slut, but sources now say it’s because she’s crazy. Or a “woman”. Same thing.
Meanwhile sources close to American beauty Kristen claim she cheated on London-born hunk Robert, 26, because of jealousy over his friendship with another co-star. Robert became close to Australian actress Emilie de Ravin, 30, while filming Remember Me in 2009. They stayed friends and he was a shoulder to cry on when the former Lost actress’s marriage to actor Josh Janowi hit the rocks. A source close to Kristen said: “She found it difficult to cope with Robert being close friends with another woman. “As their friendship grew, she became more envious to the point that she would be very upset. They struck up their friendship when they were working away in New York and Kristen was still living in Los Angeles. “Nothing romantic ever happened between them but it didn’t make Kristen feel any better about them being so close. Emilie was at a very low ebb. She was going through a split and she and Robert made one another laugh.
Kristen Stewart looks like a dead lay, but she can apparently only get wet from sucking off a married dude in a car or her revenge plot over the scenario in her head that never happened. So she probably gives up the ass. I’m torn, my friends. That’s really all I have for this story.
came out as a lesbian in 2010, drives a 1968 Mustang, owns a .357 Magnum, is probably dating Johnny Depp now, and is in these shorts for a Guess ad. Whoa, chill out. You’re confusing my penis. WHO ARE YOU?!
Katie Holmes created a PR nightmare for Scientology when she dropped the divorce bomb on Tom Cruise‘s head, because if you’re a Scientologist, you’re supposed to cut off all contact with anyone who turns their back on the teachings of the floating L. Ron Hubbard head in David Miscaviage’s office. Even your own kids. But unfortunately, if Tom Cruise did that, people might not buy tickets to his movies and Scientology just can’t afford that. So they’ll discredit Katie Holmes instead. The Daily Mail reports:
‘Internally, the wheels are in motion to discredit Katie. We have moles that are pretending to be good Scientologists who report back to us on the outside. I’ve seen internal memos about Katie.’ Samantha, former daughter-in-law of opera singer Placido Domingo and ex wife of his son Placido Jr, told the publication that ‘disconnection is the main weapon of Scientology.’ Samantha left Scientology back in 2009 after 24 years and claims she was immediately declared a ‘suppressive person’ by the Church. Former Scientology spokesman Mike Rinder agreed with Samantha, saying: ‘Katie Holmes is probably the biggest suppressive person out there right now. ‘Tom, if he were an ordinary Scientologist, would be ordered to disconnect from Katie and because Suri will be living with Katie, he couldn’t see her either. ‘But because Tom is so high-profile, it would create a total furore if the public knew he was cutting Suri off. This is an example of the church at its most hypocritical.’
The Church of Scientology uses the term “suppressive person” to describe any person or group with “antisocial personalities” (on their website, they list Hitler and psychiatry as examples). But in reality, it’s mostly used by anyone who they perceive as their enemy. Like Katie Holmes. A sweet 30-year old actress who regularly takes her adorable 6-year old to the park. No wonder they want to the destroy her. Obviously she’s a ticking time bomb who could kill six million Jews at any moment.
Pic source = WENN
Since she deserves a much needed vacation, Paris Hilton was in Cannes this weekend where she was apparently all over Chris Brown. I guess she figures dating him would be a cheaper way to fix her eyes than plastic surgery. Hollyscoop reports:
So we’ve established that Chris Brown is not hanging out with his ex Rihanna, while the two just so happen to coincidentally be in the South of France at the same time — but he is most definitely hanging out with, wait for it…. Paris Hilton (?). Paris has apparently been in the same warm weather playground for overly indulgent yachters. Perhaps she’s showing signs of a bit of self-awareness and in response took to a Twitter storm of posting pics of her partying with people we currently care way more about. Paris wants you to know that she is indeed in the South of France. Partying. With Chris Brown. She puts him in a headlock, and he smokes in her face to prove it.
So Chris Brown will eventually get herpes and Paris Hilton will almost get beat to death? Who am I to stand in the way of love?
Pic source = Twitter
If not wearing a bra then standing in front of a mirror was an Olympic event, Miley Cyrus probably wouldn’t even get a medal. Because she has small titties. What a disgrace to America.
Pic source = Twitter
Meg voice aside, Mila Kunis is one of the hottest chicks in Hollywood. So I think that's why she made the Chernobyl issue.
“Whatever, bro. That was way cooler than playing Call of Duty.”
Because a person can’t be just batshit crazy anymore and go shoot up a movie theater, the Colorado massacre in which James Holmes killed 12 people (no, I’m not counting the miscarriage) has been politicized and sparked numerous conspiracy theories. You’re all dumb. Anyway, he was formally charged today. TMZ reports:
James Holmes has been charged with 24 counts of 1st degree murder and 116 counts of attempted murder after shooting up a Colorado movie theater this month — and if convicted, he could face the death penalty. Holmes stands accused of murdering 12 people and wounding 58 during a midnight screening of “Dark Knight Rises” on July 20th in Aurora, CO — one of the most heinous shootings in US history. The 24 counts of murder are split into two categories — 12 counts for premeditated murder, and 12 counts for murder “under circumstances evidencing an attitude of universal malice, manifesting extreme indifference to the value of human life generally.” Same deal for the 116 attempted murder charges — 58 counts of attempted premeditated murder, and 58 counts of murder with “universal malice.” Holmes was also charged with one count of possession of an explosive, and one count of assault with a deadly weapon. Prosecutors have not decided whether they will pursue the death penalty. Holmes’ next court date is August 9th.
Whether you believe open carrying would have mitigated the damage of a lunatic in a darkened theater with tear gas and a semi-automatic with 100 rounds, you’ve either watched too many movies or you’re just an idiot. If you believe James Holmes is a patsy for a massive government cover up, you should probably put down the weed and step outside for a while. Either way, let’s all agree that he should get his head cut off in the same theater and the victim’s families should be allowed to take turns kicking it down the aisle.
You have to give new moms a pass. Most of them are too busy dealing with the tiny, projectile vomiting human in their life to make it to the gym everyday. And that’s fine, even when that new mom is a celebrity and 90% of their job description is “look hot.” But Hilary Duff is really starting to test my patience. Because if you haven’t lost the weight yet, don’t go out in cutoff shorts. You know you’re going to get photographed and thousands of people are going to call you fat. You also might give a few of them ideas. So help me God, if Jessica Simpson points to this photo as a reason to get out the daisy dukes even a day too early, I will hunt you down and hurt you, Duff.
Hey, remember a couple of weeks ago when it was rumored that two cokewhores (HINT: Lindsay and Steph) hung out together at Chateau Marmont? Well apparently one of the cokewhores (Steph) has a website and she posted a pic of that night. She also posted a pic of her half naked. I don’t know. Maybe James Holmes picked the wrong place.