Since you know who Joseph Kony is because all of your Facebook friends posted a link to the same self-serving video, Invisible Children, last week with the same moral outcry that was completely forgotten about the next day, what you might not have known is that Joseph Kony rapes and kidnaps children then kills their family and neighbors because he literally thinks he is God’s spokesman and has the right to turn Uganda into a theocratic state based on the Ten Commandments without regard to human rights (think Rick Santorum only way blacker). It’s hard to imagine a group who calls themselves Lord’s Resistance Army would commit horrible atrocities then justify their actions with religion (oh hai, Israel), but in 2011, President Obama sent troops to get rid of this lunatic. But apparently that was bad, because Joseph Kony is a good Christian and Barack Obama IS A MUSLIM FROM KENYA AND AN ARAB WITH MANY WIVES HE WASN’T EVEN BORN HERE SOCIALIST AFRICAN!! Huffington Post reports:
Lord’s Resistance Army are Christians. It means God. I was only kidding. Lord’s Resistance Army are Christians. They are fighting the Muslims in Sudan. And Obama has sent troops, United States troops to remove them from the battlefield, which means kill them. That’s what the lingo means, “to help regional forces remove from the battlefield,” meaning capture or kill. So that’s a new war, a hundred troops to wipe out Christians in Sudan, Uganda, and — (interruption) no, I’m not kidding. Jacob Tapper just reported it. Now, are we gonna help the Egyptians wipe out the Christians? Wouldn’t you say that we are? I mean the Coptic Christians are being wiped out, but it wasn’t just Obama that supported that. The conservative intelligentsia thought it was an outbreak of democracy. Now they’ve done a 180 on that, but they forgot that they supported it in the first place. Now they’re criticizing it. Lord’s Resistance Army objectives. I have them here. “To remove dictatorship and stop the oppression of our people.” Now, again Lord’s Resistance Army is who Obama sent troops to help nations wipe out. The objectives of the Lord’s Resistance Army, what they’re trying to accomplish with their military action in these countries is the following: “To remove dictatorship and stop the oppression of our people; to fight for the immediate restoration of the competitive multiparty democracy in Uganda; to see an end to gross violation of human rights and dignity of Ugandans; to ensure the restoration of peace and security in Uganda, to ensure unity, sovereignty, and economic prosperity beneficial to all Ugandans, and to bring to an end the repressive policy of deliberate marginalization of groups of people who may not agree with the LRA ideology.” Those are the objectives of the group that we are fighting, or who are being fought and we are joining in the effort to remove them from the battlefield.
So basically, anything that Obama and his administration does is wrong. Everything. Because if blind hate and misinformation won’t work, semantics will have to do. It really does take a special kind of asshole to defend a child murderer for the sake of spiting the person trying to keep him from, you know, child murdering. Even if the child murdering is God’s will, which kinda undermines the whole sanctity of life argument. As does the Passover and the story of Noah. Or the story of Lot’s daughters. Or pretty much everything else in the bible. Man, no wonder Kony got the wrong idea. Easy mistake I guess.
Pic source = WENN