Usually, Jennifer Lawrence is pretty hot (here and here), but then she went to the Spain premiere of The Hunger Games last night. Look, I'm all for racism, but if they're going to get a soft, white, blonde chick with big tits to play an athletic Native American girl, they should at least make the blonde chick show said tits more.
Since Kris Jenner hasn’t yet made enough money to fund research that would allow her daughters to literally suck publicity from black cock to generate constant, renewable publicity cheaply, her daughters are left with having to release statements and stage incidents no matter how asinine or ridiculous. Which brings to today. They day where Khloe Kardashian publicly denounces her relationship with PETA (um, good?), because they condoned Kim’s flour bombing and offered to pay the bomber’s legal fees.
“Hi dolls. I’m sure you all heard what happened to Kim last week (thank you SO much for the love and support you all showed her), and I just received word that the woman responsible has very close ties to PETA, despite PETA publicly stating otherwise. Not only has PETA lied to the public, but they have proved that they support this kind of behavior. I’ve been a vocal supporter of PETA for a long time but I have also been very vocal about anti-bullying, so this was a huge disappointment for me. As you all know, I don’t condone violence and bullying and what happened last Thursday was just that. I am absolutely disgusted by their behavior. Everyone is entitled to their own beliefs and opinions — I personally don’t wear fur but that doesn’t mean I am going to force my views on anyone else, ESPECIALLY by violating them. I am a very proud sister right now, because Kim handled last week’s incident like a champ. She got cleaned up and was back out there in a matter of minutes. Go Kimmie! We all need to practice what we preach. I will still continue to NOT wear fur, but I will no longer support PETA. Bullying and harassment is NEVER a solution, and I won’t be a part of any organization that thinks otherwise.”
As you read this, please keep in mind PETA is a domestic terrorist organization that killed 95% of the animals it took in last year. They channel money to help fund the Animal Liberation Front, who uses that money to engage in arson attacks and firebombing animal research facilities. PETA also supports full animal liberation, which means they believe animals should have the same rights and privileges as humans (releasing all animals from zoos, no population control, so basically animals running wild in the streets). Also, let’s not forget that PETA’s M.O. is bullying. They insert themselves in the highest profile issue with the word “animal” in it, and attempt to shame all those involved. But all that was okay to Khloe Kardashian until PETA used the exact tactics to tarnish her family’s brand. She is also taking a strong anti-bullying and anti-harassment stance, but makes no mention that everything in the Kardashian Hooker Animal Print Kollection is made by Chinese kids in a sweatshop. Sorry, Khloe. The righteous indignation and sanctimony in this statement just doesn’t resonate as well as you think it does when you write it on a balance sheet.
Brace yourselves, Bobby Brown made another bad life decision. I know, try to breathe through it. Los Angeles Times reports:
Singer Bobby Brown was arrested in the San Fernando Valley on suspicion of driving under the influence, law enforcement officials said. The arrest occurred at 12:20 p.m. Monday at near the corner of Victory Boulevard and Wilbur Avenue, according to California Highway Patrol officer Mike Harris. Officers pulled him over for talking on his cellphone but then administered a field sobriety test, Harris said.
So to recap, Bobby Brown was piss drunk at noon and driving down the street talking on his cellphone. Luckily for him he didn’t have any Skittles in the car. You know how those people like those things. Who knows what black people do with all those fruit-flavored snacks. They probably use them to break into people’s houses I bet.
Apparently there’s a show called Pretty Little Liars and Ashley Benson and Lucy Hale star in that show. And this weekend they put on bikinis and went to Bongo Bikini Shack for a photo shoot on Miami Beach. I spent a while editing these because stopping to Google “how do I lick Ashley Benson’s and Lucy Hale’s vaginas at the same time is there a way to do that?” doesn’t return that many results and I can’t really read Russian. So if you guys have any ideas I’m open to suggesstions.
I was going to post this picture that Ashley Tisdaletweeted on Friday, but then I realized tan lines are gross and its Ashley Tisdale and she’s holding a tiny guitar and she’s in a big hat and nothing about this is sexy in any way. But I’m just going to go ahead and post it now because the picture has been sitting here all weekend and I didn’t get a chance to Photoshop in a shark or a dragon tearing up his bracket or anything else that would make this picture interesting.
Katy Perry and Lana Del Rey were in Germany last night for some German award show probably about beer or murder, and they just happened to run into each other in full view of cameras. So what do two completely fabricated, label creations do when they meet to maximize a photo op? Ooohhh, whatever comes natural, baby.
Despite the fact that she’s had more plastic surgery than a burn victim and has absolutely no self-awareness or perspective about herself, Kim Kardashian‘s new fragrance is called True Reflection. And last night in West Hollywood was the launch party. But since she’s been in the news lately because practically every star in Hollywood has called her a fucking idiot, the event couldn’t go on without E! and her mom hatching a plan to garner Kim more undeserved sympathy because you should never put anything past these whores. E! Online reports while licking Kris Jenner’s butthole:
The reality star was doing interviews at a launch party held at the London Hotel in West Hollywood for her new fragrance True Reflection tonight, when—out of nowhere—a younger female fan (we guess you could call her that) threw an entire bag of flour on Kim. “That probably is the craziest, unexpected, weird thing that ever happened to me,” Kim told us. “Like I said to my makeup artist, I wanted more powder and that’s a whole lot of translucent powder right there,” she said, laughing off the entire ordeal.
There’s about 25 videos on this on YouTube and not one actually show the woman throwing the flour. And about four separate pic agencies have pictures from this event, but again, nobody seems to have a picture of the woman throwing the flour or Kim actually being hit with the flour. They do however have pictures of Kelly Clarkson buying flour and six whole chickens. But that’s not exactly the same thing now is it?
Actually, there is a video now. I like the part where the woman just walks by security and the part where Kim is smiling at the end.
Just like her cause of death would have read in 2001, Whitney Houston had a heart attack and fell into a bathtub because her heart was completely shredded from years of cocaine use. But above all this, I wish you lov..to know she had cocaine in her system. And weed. And Xanax. And a muscle relaxer. And Benadryl. TMZ reports:
Whitney Houston had cocaine in her system when she died — this according to the L.A. County Coroner. The L.A. County Coroner has just released the singer’s official cause of death — accidental drowning … but the report also notes heart disease and cocaine use were contributing factors to Whitney’s demise. Officials say Houston also had traces of marijuana in her system … as well as Xanax (anxiety medication), Flexeril (muscle relaxer) and Benadryl (allergy medication). A source connected to the investigation tells us it is “very possible” Whitney had a heart attack that caused her to lose consciousness and drown. The heart attack may have been triggered by hardening of the arteries as a result of cocaine use. As we previously reported, Whitney was found dead in a bathtub at the Beverly Hilton hotel last month and several pills were found on the scene — including Xanax, Ibuprofen, and Midol. Investigators found NO EVIDENCE of cocaine in the hotel room. Law enforcement sources have told us from the beginning they did not suspect foul play — and believe her death was not a homicide. Her family however had doubts about Whitney’s demise — suggesting there may have been foul play.
It really is sad when truly talented people die relatively young, but it’s hard to find the sympathy for a truly talented person when they die because they do stupid shit. I guess what I’m saying is, I don’t care. Yes, she was a great singer, but so was Ariel. She didn’t do cocaine and she has legs now. Let that be a lesson, kids.
Katy Perry thinks she’s a soldier [The Superficial] Miley Cyrus really wants you to look at her body [Popoholic] Kate Upton‘s breasts are selling something [Hollywood Tuna] Coco continues to win at twitter (NSFW site) [Taxi Driver Movie] The filming of Spring Breakers continues to be awesome [Celebuzz] Imogen Thomas is in a bikini (NSFW site) [Drunken Stepfather] John Edwards probably paid for sex while running for President [Celebitchy] Rebecca Romijn is see through [The Nip Slip] Twitter takes on the Tim Tebow trade [COED Magazine] The Hunger Games Game: Dating and Death [College Humor] The Situation is in rehab (not “rehab”) for pill addiction [Dlisted] Products without their branding. I got 4 wrong. [Gizmodo] 36 ridiculously hot redheads [The Chive] Minka Kelly is dating Wilmer Valderrama because the world is unfair [Moe Jackson] Kate Hudson is a natural beauty [Celebslam] Tulisa Contostavlos is “in bits” about her sex tape leak [The Blemish] Apparently love makes Kim Kardashian even dumber [Evil Beet Gossip] Rihanna might be doing Ashton Kutcher [Lainey Gossip] AnnaLynne McCord is in a bikini [Egotastic] 25 dogs dressed as monkeys [City Rag] Lady Gaga has 21 million twitter followers, makes $30 million off them [PopCrush] It’s OK to like Robert Pattinson now [Film Drunk] Dianna Agron is the latest woman linked to Tim Tebow [Popbytes] Adriana Lima is excited to get fat again [Heyman Hustle] Kathy Griffin had vagina surgery [Allie is Wired] Megan Fox keeps messing with her face [Amy Grindhouse] It’s World Water Day, find out how you can help [Aid for Africa]